Tag Archives: children

So, Changing it up today-5 things to consider when parenting…

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Tell Don’t Ask I think one of the things that bugs me the most about parents is that they ask the opinion of their children whom are not even in 1st grade. Sometimes the kids haven’t even been out of … Continue reading →

So, I went away again for a long time, but for good reason. For the most part…

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Wow, I have not written on here in almost 6 months to the date and I am ashamed, baffled and surprised at how much has transpired since I last wrote. I am now in a relationship with a great guy. … Continue reading →

So, home schooling is a challenge, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world…

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Many people have opinions about home schooling that are less than, hmmmm, kind. My answer: It is none of their freaking business. I know my kid best. There are so many reasons that people do it nowadays, and again-it’s none of their freaking business. I sent my kid to a Christian school for kindergarten and she was chastised the whole year by her teacher. I didn’t learn how much so until after it was over, and I still hear about it years later.

My daughter’s problem, or actually it is not a problem, she is very intelligent. Not just book smarts either. She has “street smarts” or “common sense” to balance her smarts. She is good at cooking and building things and art and science, one of those people who is equally left and right-brained.  Some teachers do not value kids that are grade levels ahead, it is too much of a challenge. Since the private school would not work with her need for more work and public schools don’t offer many options, we did an online public school.

This way, she has standardized tests on file, school records that show what her grades are, etc. Basically, for me the structure and accountability are huge factors for why we home school this way. Some home school families even look down on us because they say: “Well if you are not sending your child to public school then why are you doing online public school?” Again, because of the aforementioned reasons. I also like the teacher support, online clubs and classes and field trips.

I am talking about all of this to say that we have one life to live and it is ours. We have our families, our reasons for doing things, choices and paths we have taken, and different ways of viewing things. For me, home schooling allows me to be in control of what she focuses on while doing the necessary work, in a stable and solid learning environment. I can brush over the basic ideals about Greek Gods, but will not waste a month on it. On the other hand, we can spend much more time on American History and do local field trips since D.C. is footsteps away.

I just wish that people would “do them”, and not feel that their way is the only way. I mean when it comes to “Do unto others” or other God’s commandments, of course we should do things God’s way. But when it comes to the way that we live our lives that in no way affects or hurts others, people need to basically keep their mouths shut. I don’t judge those who don’t home school and are wealthy stay at  home moms (I know many), so I don’t need to hear one more convo about how she needs to be around kids her age.

She acts, she sings, she dances, she takes art classes, she is in scouting, she bowls, she plays an instrument. I think she’s good. And, when she goes into the workplace, it is highly unlikely she will work in an environment where everyone that she works with and deals with is 22 years old. So, having friends of all ages and all walks of life is actually very valuable. I guess this post today is half explaining why we home school, half defending it, and complaining about those that have something to say about it.

I will step off of my soapbox now, and get back to my daughter’s Language Arts class. We just took a late lunch break and watched an American Girl craft video, one of the many reasons that I would not trade working from home and teaching from home. We go at our own pace and enjoy each other. Though there are good days and bad days with home learning, seeing my daughter learn in the way that she does best and spending the day with her is worth it all.

I hope that you all have a beautiful day and enjoy the life that you are blessed with in the way that makes you happy.

Simply~

Dee

So, I am blogging about my usual-EVERYTHING:)

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Tonight was decent. I was actually babysitting, and fell asleep for 2 hours. But hey, in my defense, the kid is almost 10 and my kid was building a fort with her in the next room. So all was good. I am just so fatigued because I have that early morning gig for 2 hours Monday-Friday and I am always so afraid that I am going to miss it that I wake up literally off and on all night looking at my cell. I am just not an early morning person. My ideal life? Go to bed at 3 and wake up at 10 or 11-true story.

So, I was just writing to a friend who is a decade older about how sad it is that she is moving soon and I haven’t hung out with her pretty much the whole time I have known her. Back story, I used to babysit her kids after school and one of those “kids” is soon to be 21, and I have a much younger kid. So, we have been in each other’s lives, but not really in each other’s close circle of friends because we are at just such different life stages. As I type this I truly cannot believe we met 10 years ago. I did not take her for granted because we were really connected by her kids, but it’s kind of like I knew she was in the D.C. area and did not think that she would leave. Well, she got a cash offer on her house, which is amazing because houses are super expensive here. And, she is out of here in a few weeks!! So much for her living across town, but her new digs down south will be fab so I see a road trip in the future:).

Tomorrow, we are going tubing. Not river tubing, but snow tubing! Yay! I am taking my kid out of obligation. Not that I do not like going. Not because I do not enjoy doing activities with her, but because I just want to lie in bed and hibernate. I am sure that once we get there it will be fun. I bought food to take including a salad for me because I am eating healthy again, I will have to talk about that next post. Anyway, I just don’t want to do the three-hour round trip of driving after doing an out-of-state trip last week. I am not even sure that I will participate with her because we are taking another kid. But more than likely I will because it really is loads of fun. Right now, I can envision sitting in the lodge and just watching from the windows:)

This week has FLOWN by. We did not get to go ice skating, because today and yesterday were super cold days. A day that was a nice day, got wrecked because my kid’s bff got hurt in a ski accident and we went and played board games with her. So, the next month we are going to conquer all of the outdoor skating venues in D.C. area because I am wondering where did winter go? Spring is next month!

I am super stoked right now for a few reasons. For one, my daughter tried out for another muscial this week and got it! The director told her and call backs aren’t even until next week. Another thing, we are going to NYC in a month for a whole weekend to hang with my brother, the 21-year-old girl that I mentioned above, and for an acting thing for my daughter. Lastly, my friend gave me her Hulu password info tonight because I canceled Hulu and I get to watch Scandal because I missed it last night. I do not know if my heart can take it! Last week was INTENSE.

I hope that whatever you guys do with your weekend, it is what you want to do. At least after coming back from tubing, I get a free dinner from the girl’s parents for taking her kid tubing. So, score! Enjoy the weather whatever it may be, because remember, any time that we are live to see the sun rise and set is a good day!

Simply~

Dee

I understand that having kids can be challenging, but they are a blessing-trust me…

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I was never the type of person that said that Oh My Gosh, I can’t wait to get married and have kids!!!! I knew I wanted to get married one day, and I would hopefully have a few kids, but I wasn’t pressed to do either. It also did not help that I found out at 19 that getting pregnant would be very difficult for me, so I guess I subconsciously tried to not be too excited about kids just in case I couldn’t have one.

That being said, my kid has changed my life greatly. I totally yell and have a sharp tone of voice with her. I am not syrupy sweet to her every second and it is sometimes unfair that I take out a frustration on her, but that is what loved ones do unfortunately. But I meet so many of these effing Stepford wannabes in the D.C. area that as my very southern mom would say-“Sugar wouldn’t melt in their mouth”, which is supposed to mean that they are super fakey sweet. But these same moms, are literal monsters when they are not in public. Or, they suck it up all of the time and never get mad, but when they do it is ugly.

I am the kind of person that nips a problem immediately. My kid is being snarky, I tell her to shut her mouth. One of her friends is speaking rude, I tell her to cut that crap out. So, even though I speak sharply sometimes, it is rarely “real yelling”, but more of a raised voice. I am saying all of this to say that we are all human, but people need to realize what a gift kids are. I wish some of these people could speak to women that cannot have kids or to those who have lost kids to death.

I think that we should appreciate all of our loved ones to the ability that we can every day. That does not mean that everything is rosy. Or that things will all be easy. But I get so sick of women that I know complaining about how their children are wearing them out or that they are mad about a snow day or that they can’t wait until Christmas break or Easter break or summer break is over. Cherish your kids!!! They are little for a short time. Eighteen years flies by. My child is only half of that, but that half went by in a blink and I have only spent maybe 3 days away from her in all of those years! I am home with her 24/7 because she is home schooled and her dad is a jackass and never gets her and I still manage to appreciate our mom/daughter relationship. It will change over the years for the good and the bad, but it is too special to just ignore or be sick of.

So, for all of the full time career moms that say: “Well, you don’t know how it is-you don’t have a full-time job!” I could say a lot to these disillusioned bimbos. But I will simply say: BOLLOX!! I keep kids 25 hours per week. I just finished another Master’s, I home school my kid. I have no help from any family member because my mom is 700 miles away and his family does nothing for me or my daughter. We spent 15-20 hours a week for months with my daughter’s art and acting classes and performances on top of everything else . So where these superior women spend 60 hours at work, 20 hours socializing and 20 hours a week with their kids, I do ALL that I mentioned with my kid present.

So it may sound if I am being judgmental too, but I am not. I am the one that is judged more often than not.  I was a late bloomer. I am just now doing career-oriented things, for one reason because I took a 10 year break. But, I am just explaining that I may not have job stress, but no one is around to teach or raise or entertain my kids except for me or her friends on an occasional play date. There are 5  kids over here right now. That is the way I like it. All of her friends want to be here, because though I am stern and strict, I am fun and caring and make things about the kids. To make matters worse, some of these same women have weekends away from their kids and still complain about how their kid is getting on their nerves the weekends that they are “on.”

It not only sickens me, but it makes me wonder why the hell they had kids. Because it was on their to do list? Or because it was an accident? Or because it seemed like the right time in their life and everyone else was doing it too? I don’t claim to be a saint, but I am a good mom. I am not a doctor, a lawyer, a CEO, but I am one helluva mother. I am a friend, chauffeur, nurse, caregiver, advice giver, personal assistant, personal shopper, counselor, and so much more and I do not make 6 figures. But every night, I pray that I can live to be 100 to be around for my baby. I realize the gift that she truly is.

I hope and pray that these moms and dads that are only there when their children are being recognized, or are shining, wake up before it is too late. It would be a pity for their children to parent in the same way. Or, for these neglected children to wake up one day and want nothing to do with their parents.

The Washington, D.C. area is one of the wealthiest areas in this country. The neglect is not the same as in other places. These kids are entitled. Sure they have food and shelter.They also have many, many “things”. Uggs, and iPads and Northface jackets and shiny objects. What many of them that I have witnessed do not get is: time, attention, consideration, proper discipline, or no discipline at all. In some case, poor nutrition because they eat fast food as they are being shuttled from activity to activity or from caregiver to caregiver. (not that we never eat fast food, but you get the point I hope) They may live in gorgeous homes and safe areas,but many of them are empty and sad.

Most of the families that I have cared for, this is not the case. But I have been a tutor/teacher/nanny to kids in this area for 11 years, so I am not being overly dramatic or emotional. I have seen and cared for some of these kids that are just an accessory to their parents-or it sure as heck seems like it. Throwing material things at these kids is not a myth, it is the plain truth and happens all of the time. These types of parents think that giving kids a 50,000 dollar car when they are 16  replaces hugs and love. But what so many of these kids are begging for is someone to notice them, or to listen to them or tell them that they are not allowed to do something because it is a sign that someone cares. I truly hope these parents put the puzzle pieces together sooner than later.

Sorry to be a downer, but it had to be said…

Simply~

Dee