I was never the type of person that said that Oh My Gosh, I can’t wait to get married and have kids!!!! I knew I wanted to get married one day, and I would hopefully have a few kids, but I wasn’t pressed to do either. It also did not help that I found out at 19 that getting pregnant would be very difficult for me, so I guess I subconsciously tried to not be too excited about kids just in case I couldn’t have one.
That being said, my kid has changed my life greatly. I totally yell and have a sharp tone of voice with her. I am not syrupy sweet to her every second and it is sometimes unfair that I take out a frustration on her, but that is what loved ones do unfortunately. But I meet so many of these effing Stepford wannabes in the D.C. area that as my very southern mom would say-“Sugar wouldn’t melt in their mouth”, which is supposed to mean that they are super fakey sweet. But these same moms, are literal monsters when they are not in public. Or, they suck it up all of the time and never get mad, but when they do it is ugly.
I am the kind of person that nips a problem immediately. My kid is being snarky, I tell her to shut her mouth. One of her friends is speaking rude, I tell her to cut that crap out. So, even though I speak sharply sometimes, it is rarely “real yelling”, but more of a raised voice. I am saying all of this to say that we are all human, but people need to realize what a gift kids are. I wish some of these people could speak to women that cannot have kids or to those who have lost kids to death.
I think that we should appreciate all of our loved ones to the ability that we can every day. That does not mean that everything is rosy. Or that things will all be easy. But I get so sick of women that I know complaining about how their children are wearing them out or that they are mad about a snow day or that they can’t wait until Christmas break or Easter break or summer break is over. Cherish your kids!!! They are little for a short time. Eighteen years flies by. My child is only half of that, but that half went by in a blink and I have only spent maybe 3 days away from her in all of those years! I am home with her 24/7 because she is home schooled and her dad is a jackass and never gets her and I still manage to appreciate our mom/daughter relationship. It will change over the years for the good and the bad, but it is too special to just ignore or be sick of.
So, for all of the full time career moms that say: “Well, you don’t know how it is-you don’t have a full-time job!” I could say a lot to these disillusioned bimbos. But I will simply say: BOLLOX!! I keep kids 25 hours per week. I just finished another Master’s, I home school my kid. I have no help from any family member because my mom is 700 miles away and his family does nothing for me or my daughter. We spent 15-20 hours a week for months with my daughter’s art and acting classes and performances on top of everything else . So where these superior women spend 60 hours at work, 20 hours socializing and 20 hours a week with their kids, I do ALL that I mentioned with my kid present.
So it may sound if I am being judgmental too, but I am not. I am the one that is judged more often than not. I was a late bloomer. I am just now doing career-oriented things, for one reason because I took a 10 year break. But, I am just explaining that I may not have job stress, but no one is around to teach or raise or entertain my kids except for me or her friends on an occasional play date. There are 5 kids over here right now. That is the way I like it. All of her friends want to be here, because though I am stern and strict, I am fun and caring and make things about the kids. To make matters worse, some of these same women have weekends away from their kids and still complain about how their kid is getting on their nerves the weekends that they are “on.”
It not only sickens me, but it makes me wonder why the hell they had kids. Because it was on their to do list? Or because it was an accident? Or because it seemed like the right time in their life and everyone else was doing it too? I don’t claim to be a saint, but I am a good mom. I am not a doctor, a lawyer, a CEO, but I am one helluva mother. I am a friend, chauffeur, nurse, caregiver, advice giver, personal assistant, personal shopper, counselor, and so much more and I do not make 6 figures. But every night, I pray that I can live to be 100 to be around for my baby. I realize the gift that she truly is.
I hope and pray that these moms and dads that are only there when their children are being recognized, or are shining, wake up before it is too late. It would be a pity for their children to parent in the same way. Or, for these neglected children to wake up one day and want nothing to do with their parents.
The Washington, D.C. area is one of the wealthiest areas in this country. The neglect is not the same as in other places. These kids are entitled. Sure they have food and shelter.They also have many, many “things”. Uggs, and iPads and Northface jackets and shiny objects. What many of them that I have witnessed do not get is: time, attention, consideration, proper discipline, or no discipline at all. In some case, poor nutrition because they eat fast food as they are being shuttled from activity to activity or from caregiver to caregiver. (not that we never eat fast food, but you get the point I hope) They may live in gorgeous homes and safe areas,but many of them are empty and sad.
Most of the families that I have cared for, this is not the case. But I have been a tutor/teacher/nanny to kids in this area for 11 years, so I am not being overly dramatic or emotional. I have seen and cared for some of these kids that are just an accessory to their parents-or it sure as heck seems like it. Throwing material things at these kids is not a myth, it is the plain truth and happens all of the time. These types of parents think that giving kids a 50,000 dollar car when they are 16 replaces hugs and love. But what so many of these kids are begging for is someone to notice them, or to listen to them or tell them that they are not allowed to do something because it is a sign that someone cares. I truly hope these parents put the puzzle pieces together sooner than later.
Sorry to be a downer, but it had to be said…