So, it is Wednesday’s Wisdom, Wit Wondering, Whatnot…

So, I failed to write a Musing or motivation for Monday because on Columbus Day I rested. A lot! So I am behind on life:)

Today’s words of wisdom/wit are all about something that is so important, yet so simple. As southerners often say-“Don’t sweep around someone else’s porch until you sweep around your own.” It basically means- mind your business and clean up the issues in your life before talking about other people’s flaws.

And let me say this, I definitely have my opinions about others and frankly there is no one that I know that doesn’t discuss other people’s lives and judge their decisions to some degree. But there is so much going on in all of our lives, so we should improve in areas that need work and focus on time with those we love. I honestly don’t care or want to waste energy on the way people chouse to live. So it has always perplexed me why many people do.

As long someone’s lifestyle is not harmful to other living beings, then I have no interest in butting my nose in their business. If we all adopted that mindset, then life would generally be easier for everyone. I just don’t understand the appeal of focusing precious time on other people’s affairs when life is so hurried and fleeting. Even the obsession with what celebrities do every waking moment just lacks appeal to me. But it makes more since than caring how Syd looked at Nancy at the meeting or how Desi drank one too many Manhattan’s at Lucy’s party.

Do you know a busy body or ultimate judger? Because I know that none of you could possibly be that way😁. Just asking if you have a friend like this. I threw together a few tips to show to those with too much free time and how they can focus on ANYTHING besides someone else’s business.

1. Focus on God- time being spent as a gossip could be spent praying or meditating on something positive or greater than oneself (for me that would mean reading the Bible and praying)

2. Volunteer- a homeless shelter or animal shelter is a place where beings are at their most vulnerable and need the most help. This should touch and humble anyone with even half a heart.

3. Get active- active people have more endorphins which makes them happier and they feel better physically. Which should make them feel better about others (hopefully).

4. Get a hobby (or a life)- Finding something to do will keep that normally chatty Cathy or Chad, occupied. And if a mate is what they need, finding someon with common interests helps! Hopefully doing something fun in their spare time will ease the desire of ‘minding folks business’.

This list was written with a hint of a snark/in jest, but it should actually cure the chronic bad-mouther of their need to meddle! Or at least help them to rid themselves of the desire!

~simply

Dee

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So, time for Wednesday’s Wisdom, Wit, Wondering and Whatnot

So, yeah. My fave time and yours:) -WWWWW!

Today’s installment will be a dose of Wisdom from Dee.

My wisdom for the day is to appreciate who and what you have in your life. We have all heard this and seen this and read about this topic, many times. But as I have had SO many struggles financially speaking over the last 5 years, I have learned to live on less and to love the life I have, not the life I wish for.

It is plain and simple. Material items mean squat. Those who love you, will love you through all your storms. Be grateful for the soliders in your corner. The number may be few but at least you know they are legit and not fairweather. It is extremely difficult to find a person who truly has your best interests at heart and will support you come what may.

Pay attention to who is there when you are not at your best and when blessings seem to be hard to quantify. It is easy to find loyalty and smiling faces among people that have it altogether and have a fabulous lifestyle. That is quite attractive to many. But if you have had to constantly fight to stay ahead, appreciate those who appreciate you and believe in you. Let them know how touched you are by their kindness and do not take them for granted.

This advice may sound simplistic. But words of acknowledgement and gratitude go a long way.

~simply

Dee

So, another Manic Monday Motivation or Musing?

So, today is more of a Musing than a Monday Motivational spiel. Today the thought ran through my mind about how some people overuse labels about themselves. My mother always told me that if you are a certain type of person then you will not have to announce it to everyone. It will just be evident. I have gone back to that sentiment multiple times.

For instance, if someone is: rich or classy or Christian or has a heart of gold, it should be obvious without it having to be announced. Now if someone is asked a question about themseelves and they answer truthfully, that is one thing. But to tout that they are a certain label, constantly, seems a little unnecessary or perhaps ridiculous.

If one is what or whom they claim to be, then why the need to announce it over and over again? Doesn’t it seem like actions and lifestyle and demeanor are solid indicators? If there is this ongoing need to prove that they are this particular thing, it means that A: they are insecsure or B: they are a fraud. Right?

I have noticed this through the years as I am a natural observer. But since social media dominates nearly everyone’s lives, people feel the need to prove themselves, more than ever! It is overwhelmingly in our faces, everywhere we click. It is hard to tell if what we see online is real or contrived. Unfortunately, I am the same on and offline, kinda boring I know. But for many folks the picture and the reality could not be more polar opposite.

What are your thoughts?

~simply

Dee

So, Seen, Heard and Experienced in the DMV- Week Ending October 4th

Seen

So, going to get coffee is a part of my daily routine and for most people reading this this is probably standard routine. Upon leaving Starbuck, this was seen outside of a local pizza place.

I totally understand that there are deliveries before hours. But on the ground in loose plastic? And no cover on the crate or no sealed container? Of course rodents or insects come to mind with open food, but how about lack of freshness. This was more than 3 hours before opening. Gross! I know one pizza spot that I will be skipping!

Seen

Beauty is truly everywhere. While dog walking, on this teeny tiny minuscule lawn area outside of a town home was this beautiful little flowerbed.

It probably took 10 minutes to place stones, mulch and planting of the bulb. But the simpleness of this heart shape and tropical flower really made me pause. There are oodles of developments around with half a postage stamp sized lawn, and most people add nothing. It doesn’t matter how grand or small your place is, it doesn’t take a lot of effort to create beauty and spread cheer.

Heard

Imagine the whirring of blenders, idle chatter, a random tune mixed in all the chaos in the background. Typical coffee shop sounds. Then, picture a loud and overly obnoxious cell phone talker. The kind that is so loud that it makes you want to slap them incredibly hard. Then imagine, despite the angry looks their way, they get louder and say- “Oh yes, I am at my office”. Like really? Who would believe that? And then to add insult to injury, “My office is right by Capitol Hill and there is a lot of construction going on.” MAN! Not only was this guy loud and annoying, but a HUGE liar! He was legit situated on a bar stool 15 miles in the VA burbs of DC in a strip mall! I so wanted to loudly offer him a cappuccino!

Guess politricks goes beyond “The Hill” 😁😁😁

~simply

Dee

P.S. if you live in the DMV, send over one of your Seen, Heard or Experienced

So, A poem about simple but amazing

It started out so simple

An acknowledgment

An electronic smile

Typed words of acceptance

A message about her looks

More broadly, her persona

She took a bite on the line

Allowed herself to be reeled

Once again doubting

The whole she was judging

The words flowed easily

As did the laughter

The conversation never ending

A meeting outside a train station

An urban picnic and museum

The day turned into dinner

They had breakfast, then lunch

He left on his journey home

The doubt still remained

The roses came and words flowed

Another meetup and the connnection grew

A year went by of weekend visits

Then a trip to Roma and Venezia for the 2

Another year of he being part of her family

Attending middle school events

And the unwavering support

A trip to Paris that included 3

The calendar whizzed by

The time together and apart

Flowed like wine with words

The little one in secondary

The duo still strong

Year 3 hit the mark

The chatting ensues

Yet another trip on the books

And the bond remains

The unbreakable closeness

The presence forever there

Plans for eternity

Dreams and reality intertwined

It started with simple

A message via phone

It carries on with amazing

A symphony produced by God

No union this sweet could a man make

A taste of heaven in every day

Forever a bond

Formed by a simple thread of words

An amazing action forever changing lives

So, wow- WWWWW time again. Dang…

So it is time for a bit more of Wednesday’s Wit, Wisdom, Wondering and What Not. Now that I am mostly over being sick, the days are flying by! Hope your hump day is as good as I know that mine will be.

See what I did there? I predicted something good. I stated today would be great! I have gotten so bogged down the last few years on financial issues and how crappy my kid’s father has been to her that I have lost that positive zen glow. Okay, who am I fooling? Too hype to be zen. But anyhow, I have always been happy-go-lucky Harriet. No matter what came my way I was well equipped to deal with it. But the last few years I have lost some of it because of different events and I can’t let trials bring me down in the way that I have.

From this point on, I truly vow to let go and let God. For real tho. I want to cease being annoyed, but so much annoys me these days! I am so happy to have such strong bonds with my kid, D and my mom, so they always bring out the sunshine in my life. I am so close to them and I vent sometimes too much because I know they have my back. But then I get riled up and frustrated that is just not helpful to me.

Do you guys just get so pissed sometimes that you want to scream to the top of your lungs and just let someone have it? I do, too often as of late and I know it is not conducive to good health or inner peace. I will never profess to be someone who smiles every second of the day and is all lollipops and rainbows (though that would be nice). But I really am going to work on my chill because I am a pleasant person and quite fun to be around but have been high strung for sometime now.

Who’s with me on working on the chill? Here’s my plan, for now-

1. Journal– I don’t mean something cumbersome and stressful. Just a few sentences about- my rose, bud and thorn of the day. My kid does that. It’s quick and easy. It will be cool to look back on years later too.

2. Workout- I have begun this for short spurts when I have breaks at work. I plan to do more focused and planned exercises. Like 30 day exercises that you see on Pinterest. Here’s one- https://www.pinterest.com/pin/326229566734538840/

3. Avoid anxiety- This is tough because folks in DMV are a pain. Until I move I’m stuck with them. So, I will severely limit interactions that I can control, ex husband/ friends who are high maintenance.

4. Do more of what I love– Read, write, go to festivals, listen to live music, help animals, chill at cafes. And share with my people so they can see me at my best doing what I love.

5. Plan low cost day trips– There is nothing like a change of scenery to gain perspective or just to have fun in a different locale. The memories are cool too. There many cool towns a fee hours ffrom D.C.

Seems like a sound plan? Let me know what some of you guys do to get your positive on. I would love to hear some of your tips!

~simply

Dee

So, Motivational Monday time because today is a little manic (a kind of poem)

So, motivation and Monday. Hmmmm. Seems like a tall order…

Today’s motivation is brought to you by the letter M for mistakes.

Mistakes are something we often dwell on during times of stress or even when our minds are supposed to be at rest.

Those past indiscretions, have been handed to God more than men should ask for directions.

They haunt the mind and are recounted an annoyingly infinite amount of times.

The thing about dwelling on poor choices that I know, time spent on them leaves little room to grow.

A piece of perhaps unwanted advice that I am willing to impart, say goodbye to past pain and untether your heart.

Remember the lesson learned in turmoils of old, but live for today and make every moment count, be content, but be bold.

Copyright September 30, 2019

~simply

Dee

So, today’s post-Wednesday (Thursday this time), Wit, Wisdom, Wonderings and Whatnot!!!

So, this time I will offer a bit of humor by sharing some of my favorite comedic characters on television shows.

There are 3 characters that really, really amuse me out of the many many shows I have loved over time. I am not one who is easy to laugh nor do I find a lot of things funny. But these 3 are an exception to my astute taste.

Maggie Smith- Downton Abbey as the Dowager

This has to be my fave character of all time. And what is so great about her is that I feel like she is in real life similar to her on screen persona. She is hilariously insulting, but it is somehow endearing as she sticks the dagger in. And the beauty is that she says it directly to the person. She kind of reminds me of my mother in some ways:). But instead of the Paula Deen twang, she has Queen Elizabeth brogue. Even if you don’t think royals are your cup of tea, Downton Abbey is a flavor you may want to try because Maggie Smith is just that killer and bloody awesome. The one liners keep this somewhat serious and dramatic show, on an even keel. (Of course she is a big time British celebrity and has done far more than this show) Maggie Smith rules all! British, magical and beyond.

Image courtesy of a manorofspeaking.org

Rainn Wilson- The Office as Dwight Kurt Schrute III

I don’t even know where to start. This actor goes above and beyond to become this insane/loyal/indescribable persona that you can’t help but love/hate. He strikes a balance between a strong alpha male who is very secure and confident and great at his job, meanwhile he is an annoyingly disgusting butt kiss and rule follower to a fault. But the loyalty is endearing and The Office would not be the success it is without Dwightisms. He just takes this character to another level and sometimes one pities him and at other times there is a desire to strangle him, sometimes within the same scene. Hard to achieve that balance! He is so good at being crazy that it is hard to imagine him differently outside of character. He makes loco seem cool. Rainn is a rockstar for sure.

Lucille Ball- I Love Lucy as Lucy Ricardo

When making this fun list, Lucy did not come to my mind 1st because she is just such a Queen and honestly obvious, it seemed a bit cliche. But the thought of a list without her feels just plain wrong. So many have been inspired by her style and natural goofiness. She is another person whom while watching her there is a feeling that this is part of who she is in real life. She is so funny with her phsyicalities and her expressions are like no other. When I was young and once read a story where she was entertaining some executives at her home and dropped a turkey on the floor before dinner and had to scramble in typical Lucy fashion to make it right. I can only imagine how frustratingly funny it would have been to live with her. She is the best comedienne of all time but I will write another post dedicated just to her because she is just that fab. If any person watched any episode of I Love Lucy and did not think it was funny, then I would seriously question their sanity. Lucy was a queen. Plain and simple.

Courtesy of tenor.com

The Dowager, The Beet Farmer and the Zany Housewife. Wow, they could not be any more different and have absolutely nothing in common. What does that say about me? Well rounded? Hmmmm😁😁

What are your faves? How does my list measure up to yours? Would love to hear who your top picks are.

~simply

Dee

So, a Manical Monday Motivation

So, today I am sick after a wonderful bday celebration. So my message will be short.

Enjoy.

Every.

Moment.

Spending time with my 2 favorite people on earth made me pause in front of that massively gorgeous and scary ocean. I breathed in not only salty air, but the blessing of being there and having special folks there to share it with.

It has taken a long time to feel confident and secure with not just who I am, but where I am in my life. It may not be as smooth as I had planned. But I have love and that is invaluable and equates to success to me.

The next time that you feel like you are not where you would like to be, just think about things that you have that are not tangible. For those my friend are worth more than silver and gold.

~simply

Dee

So, what is toxic masculinity? Really?

In today’s late edition of- Wednesday’s Wit, Wisdom, Wondering and Whatnot, we will discuss toxic masculinity. Of course I understand the definition, my title was merely rhetorical. Most of us know the meaning because we hear this term all day everyday and about half of the time it “triggers” me, as my daughter says. Because it is often misused or just overused.

Today, men, especially straight men are villainized in the way that Christians or black people are. I get so sick of people clumping all of any group together or loosely applying it to a majority of any one group. Like- Christian’s are bigoted and men are chauvinists or black people are criminals. You get the point. Blind ignorance.

Toxic masculinity the term really started being thrown around after the Women’s March and the Me Too Movement. But just like the “Good Ole Boy Network” and “Rape Culture” are terrible, so is treating men as a whole like they are either not needed or all vile perpetrators. This ‘down with the patriarchy’ thing is understandable, for sure.

Women all over the world have been oppressed and in some religions and regions of the world are still definitely treated as second or third class citizens. No doubt. But attacking every man in sight is definitely adding to cultural tensions and is counterproductive, 100 percent. I am all for independent women and women building up other women. But does that mean we need to tear our men down?

And by the way for those who need help understanding, none of us would be living or breathing or typing if it wasn’t for a man. You know it does take ‘2 to tango’ or to make a baby.:) So yeah, even a crap dad like mine was worth something because he is halfway responsible for my being here to talk about it.

I am probably preaching to the choir and most of the people that read this blog are probably not the type to over use terms like this without thinking. These popular news bite terms get tossed around on social media and casual conversation. They then become ensconced in our daily lives in a way that is not so positive or in ways that just make no sense.

Of course we all have groups of people that annoy us or frustrate us or that we can’t relate to. Everyone has a bias or a prejudice. If you say you don’t you are either related to Mother Teresa or are lying through your teeth. But bashing and attacking any one group is not going to help your cause. It doesn’t help anyone grow and only hurts and deepens wounds and conflict.

I think it is ok for men to be rough and tough and watch sports or to knit and read books and go to Broadway plays, whatever makes them happy. Judging the sex of a person is just as wrong as judging sexual orientation of someone. But assuming that all men are over sexual bullies is preposterous. However, I do think it is correct to call people out who truly are doing something terrible and violating and harmful. Absotively, Posilutely. It is mandatory that we stand up for wrongdoing.

But as humans we have got to learn to use better terminology towards each other, period. I completely get why some of these terms were adopted or adapted to fit certain personas. But it is extremely dangerous and irresponsible to target a group of people, many who are innocents, and label them as evil. Our emotions towards wrong have to be directed properly or we become the toxic ones. You don’t have to agree with me, I just urge you to consider what I am saying.

Just a thought for this Wednesday evening…

~simply

Dee

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