Monthly Archives: February 2015

So, how can I tell my kid that looks do not matter when they clearly do most of the time…

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My daughter was just submitted for a role that asked for a very pretty girl. It kind of sucks that was a requirement, but isn’t that is what people are looking for most of the time no matter whether it is show biz, the restaurant business, or pretty much any business?

Of course, the acting world is the worst. I remember when my daughter was 5 and was getting approached a lot about print/acting, one of the websites said that the child must be weight appropriate. That made me push away from all of this foolishness for nearly 4 years. I am not that parent that is pursuing this.

The whole reason my kid got into it is because people approached her about it, and she wanted to do what kids on Sesame Street did. But, I was always worried and not happy about the false reality of the industry. My kid is not pencil thin. She’s got baby fat, and I don’t want her to, nor will I let her have a bad body image because of some jerks opinion who by the way are usually overweight and unattractive themselves.

So, I will have to remember to tell myself and my child that to the world, looks may matter. But to God and to those that truly count, what is on the inside is the most important thing…

Just food for thought…

Simply~

Dee

So, is it just me, or is it a sad state of affairs when I have to turn to Hallmark channel for tv because nothing else is on?

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I didn’t have cable for 2 plus years and lived wonderfully on Netflix and Hulu. Now that we have it because my mom thought my kid should have it, besides maybe 3 shows, I could care less. It is interesting that Bravo calls a tv show “scripted tv” because I guess everything else is “reality”. This post is not profound, clever or even particularly meaningful. It is just me wondering if I am the only person that thinks that Netflix and Amazon Instant Video has better series than traditional television? As much as I am complaining about tv, it is so hard for me to let cable go again. The first time was like a breakup. I unhooked the cable box and it took me one week to part with it. Now, I feel like I am being reunited with a lover again to only find out that there was a reason I left him in the first place. So, maybe once summer hits, I will tell cable goodbye again. At least, until Christmas as I have done in the past. This will not be the last time I am sure, because it is something about Christmas time and cookies and cold weather that makes me want to watch 24 hours of happy family Hallmark movies and It’s a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story and everything that we have on dvd but is somehow more enjoyable on cable.:)

Why does a place with hissing and whirring sounds calm me and keep me more focused than I am at home?

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So, Starbucks is one of those magical places that keeps us wanting more and more and more and more.:) Or, at least me and millions of other people. I had lunch at a neighborhood supermarket with my daughter and then we walked around in the snow a bit more and then we hopped into the car and drove to Starbucks. We were at home and I could have sat on my bed to make a call to the insurance company. But instead, I drove a mile and a half to our favorite Starbucks (there are 10 in a 10 mile radius) to do what I could have done more comfortably at home.

Then I spent over 3 dollars on my drink. And then I spent almost 4 dollars on a breakfast sandwich for my daughter and I to share. Then she read a book and I checked some emails. All things I could have done at home. But something about the dark wood, and the nice and subtle lighting, and the pleasing tunes wafting ever so softly in the background mesmerizes me. It is like an addiction of sorts.

People could say it is the caffeine, or the taste of the coffee, or the trendiness of it all. But I think it is the whole package. I could drink caffeine/coffee at home. It is not hard to make a bacon, egg and gouda sandwich at home. I actually drink faux coffee. So, I think it is a type of voodoo they have over the masses.

The same kind of voodoo that Disney puts on people when visiting their parks. That is why we are going back again this year. Despite the cost, the travel aggravation, the lines, there is no place like Disney. We do believe it is the happiest place on earth, except for of course our little abode. Even the people that go to Disney are less annoying than they are at other places. Or, is it part of the trance Disney puts me under?:)

Funnily enough, as much as I love those places, I love being at home too. The familiarity of surroundings,my cat, the material items and mementos that take me back to certain experiences that mean something to me. I guess now that I think about it, Sbux and Disney have captured the magic of the home away from home experience but in a grand way. But when it comes down to it,home, Disney and Starbucks hold something in common: Beauty,comfort, memories, happiness, and sharing precious time with people that we love. Those things are more important than the aesthetics or psychology in the advertisements. A price can’t be put on experiences and memories…

Simply~

Dee

So, is lying on a Weight Watcher’s app the same as telling someone a half-truth?

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I just started WW points a couple of weeks ago. I have dropped between 5-7 pounds. But what is funny, I have found that when I am putting things into the app that I have eaten, I have “accidentally” left off a slice of cheese. Or, the to-go salad tiny packet of dressing-hey it all adds up. I was kind of wondering if I am doing this subconsciously or was I really forgetful that day, or do a lot of us tell only part of the truth a lot of the time?

It’s akin to someone saying that they gave a “little” more than they actually did to a charity because after all they were just rounding-up! Or, telling your current love that you did talk to your ex-boyfriend recently when HE called, not mentioning that he was returning YOUR call.:) Or if someone weighs veggies in the self-check out line and types in a cheaper squash, I mean what does it matter? It is STILL squash right?

I was thinking of all of this when I was looking what I have eaten over the last few days realizing that I had left out points here and there. It’s almost like I left those small items out being afraid to go over my points as if there is a WW counselor living with me, or I will be punished severely if I use my bonus points for the week. I mean of course not getting into shape is punishment enough, but you get the idea.

I am going to pay more attention in the future about what I say or do not say because I think that it is very telling about what I feel about myself, or others. I am also going to pay attention to what my daughter tells or does not tell others, or other people who I know. I wonder if many of us are so concerned that we will look bad that it is better to look good in a situation, truth be darned.

Anyway, just food for thought…

Simply~

Dee

So, is there a fine line between positivity and being unrealistic and realism and negativity?

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Okay, my kid is “in” acting. Meaning that she has been to a lot of classes and workshops over the last few years and has been in a couple of productions. She has auditioned for a few movie roles and commercials and she either did not get them because of distance, she wasn’t fit for the role, there were people who did a better job, we were not financially able to relocate for a role. But if you notice when I mentioned the reasons why, I did not criticize her, or the people who did the casting. What I did instead was merely point out that there are factors that were both out of her control, and some that had to do with her performance.

The truth is, you can be the best actor out of anyone that you know, but there will always be more skilled people. You can be gorgeous, smart, talented, but they may go another direction. It is hard to say what people are looking for when casting for these roles, and sometimes honestly they do not know. Last year was a whirlwind because my daughter did this 3 month prep to try out for the “big dogs”. These dogs consisted of agents and casting directors from LA and NYC. Though she fared well according to feedback, there was something missing because she never got a callback.

But, the good news is, we got away from that false and slick manager she had and now we are doing our own thing. She is under my tutelage now which means that I tell her things that make sense and do not sugar coat things for her. But I also encourage her to take risks because I know how intelligent and driven she is. So, I provide a good balance for her. Let’s get on thing clear though, I am not seeking fame. My daughter is. I hope for her to do what she loves, and put money back for college or in a trust fund. She hopes for Disney. So we have two motives here.:)

I do only have her in plays right now, and taking music classes because that is what she loves. She also takes an art class. But I do not have her in dance and voice like many parents do. For one thing, I can’t afford all of those various classes and 5 days a week of rehearsals and sometimes more is all that either of us can take. But also, I want her to be a kid. Play at the park and play dolls and go to festivals. Not be tied down like some of her other friends are to the point where they never have free time!

But I finally told her over the last 6 months that she can reach for the stars and that even though she is more talented than many kids her age (comments from directors and acting coaches), she may be famous as a kid or teenager, or it may happen in college. Or…it may happen never. I did not want to say that. I felt like a real ass for saying that. I felt like I shot down her dreams like an arrow to a balloon. But she is interested in science and other things and I don’t want those interests to wane because acting is the end all be all.

I don’t think it is mean at all, but I still felt crummy. I just want to let her know that she can reach for the stars and even major in theatre, but she may not get exactly what she wants out of it. She said that she has fun and loves it, and you can see in her eyes that she was born to perform. But, I don’t want the sparkle to die because she doesn’t achieve what she thinks she should when she should. I want her to have more goals than being a star. Being a scientist is just as noble if not  more noble of a career. It is easy to tell a kid that they can become a fireman, or a doctor, or a business owner and those things can happen and do happen for many people. But not many people become successful actors. It is just a fact.

My friend/acquaintance on the other hand, lies to her child. She tells her child that she is the best and will be famous and that she is going to be on tv one day. I think it is awesome to think so positively. But her child is not disciplined, or focused, or really that great. Her son has a nice personality, but he doesn’t take direction well and does not have a good voice, and doesn’t have natural talent. So, is telling him that he WILL be a star a setup for failure? She also pays an acting coach and kisses up to this coach and the coach always praises this child unevenly. What I mean by this is, my child and a whole groups of kids had a class with this kid and this kid never remembered lines, goofed off and did not follow direction, but got a pass and tons of false compliments to go with it.

I have learned after a smarmy manager and this acting coach, that if you are paying them enough and regularly that they will say anything that you want to hear. My kid was told when the classes or showcases came to a close that she was extremely talented and the best in the class, but it was done in a whisper as to not piss of the mom that spends a lot of money and who also kisses up and praises this coach. So, would I be happy to find out everything told to my kid was a lie? Heck yeah I would.

So that is why I am going back to my point. Positivism/unrealistic and Realism/negativism. Is there a correlation? Or maybe for better terms, a parallel? I want to be positive for my kid. I mean I yell and fuss like every parent, but I go out of my way to provide nice opportunities to her and make sure that she knows that she is the cat’s meow. But I also treat her like a person and give her respect by treating her like a person, not like a pre-schooler. Is that wrong?

Or, is it more wrong to gas your kids head up with false promises and lies? Is it better to make them think they are something they are not so that they can get a huge blow to their self-esteem years later that they may not recover from? Is candy-coating their whole existence the right way to prepare a child for the future?

I would have to say no. I am not perfect. I can be bratty sometimes, even as a parent. I can have a mini-tantrum if things are not put away properly or if my child does not do what I ask after asking 5 times. But, I care so much for my child that I tell her the truth in a way that she can handle emotionally for her age in practically every situation. Now, I still haven’t told her the truth about her dad being a womanizer, but I have to draw the line of “being real” somewhere.

I want the best for my kid. I want to provide guidance and wisdom to my child, on a smaller scale in the way that God does for us. I want to teach her what I know, and tell her things that are right and just even if she doesn’t want to hear it. I also want to lead as a parent with as much truth and honesty as I can muster while allowing her to enjoy her childhood dreams because hey-those dreams could turn into reality. But mind you, I said-COULD…

Simply!~

Dee

Inspiration can be found in many places: Blogs, the Bible, Devotionals and Instagram??

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Wow, I better hurry. It is THE award night.

So, I have really done well with my eating lately. The WW app is all that. I have also done a somewhat decent job at reading my Bible, not as much as I should, but better than I was doing. I have also managed to keep up with my devotional. In the morning, or late night I go to these sources for inspiration or to have a “conversation” with God. Blogs on WordPress inspire me as well to either write more, be a better person, or to reflect on my life.

The funny thing is that Instagram is where I connect the most with people mentally and spiritually. I mean I love WordPress and Facebook and other social sites. But, Instagram provides great quotes, and people who are redefining their lives and people who are getting their start.

It is so awesome to log on to Instagram in the morning before I have spoken a word to anyone and read such rawness, power, passion and fire. Many of these people are marketing themselves, but there are a fair number of them that have that x factor. That something special that makes you excited to be affiliated with them and be “friends” with them.

I am so excited to be a part of their journey. I have bought e-books, hardcover books, and shared their profiles. I have commented or hearted (liked) their posts. I have tried to be supportive, because these particular people have the drive and the guts to do what they love and to talk about it all of the time.

The ones that are special, I do not mind reading 10 posts from a day. It is not like Twitter, where nothing super interesting can be said except in little tiny phrases. The pictures, words of wisdom and baring of their souls on this social media site has motivated me and made me be a cheerleader even in my times of doubt or aggravation.

So, hats off to these pioneers. But more importantly, hats off to the people who have provided IG to us. It is a jewel in the rough of all of the different formats that people can communicate on electronically. I wish I would have paid it more attention a long time ago.

Happy Oscars and Chinese New Year!

Simply~

Dee

Here’s hoping my girl Meryl clinches an Oscar! And, hopefully Grand Budapest Hotel, the Imitation Game, Magic in the Moonlight and Selma deserves to be at the top! Love Ava Duvernay:) Proud of Jen Anniston too by the way!