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I know, I know. I am a modern girl living in a modern world. So why does someone need to save me. They don’t need to. I just want them to! I know the feminists out there are banging their … Continue reading
Of all the things on all the channels on the “regular” cable package we have, I am watching Friends on Netflix again. It’s funny, when Friends came out, I was just too young and busy to watch it. Now 20 years later, I would rather watch it than anything else. Even though it came out in the mid-90’s, it really is the kind of show that does not age a lot except for the fact that there were high-waisted jeans and people are not texting on there 24/7.
Speaking about friends, last night I stayed over at an older family friend’s house last night. She is moving further south because she has lived the upscale D.C. life and it is not pretty. She dated someone who was so important, that she had to have top-level security clearance to live with him. The funny thing, or the sad thing is that once she decided she did not want to be with this controlling wealthy man anymore, the D.C. social scene dropped her like a hot potato.
I have never been a part of that scene because I have never had money. I mean I have enough to pay rent and utilities and insurance and the basics, but that is the gist of it. I am not a part of the social scene. I have been to the Kennedy Center and I have been to Capital Grille and to some of the “high-post” areas that the wealthy go to. But unless I win the lottery or some sort of lawsuit, I doubt that I will rub elbows with any of these a-holes anytime soon.
After hearing how little she trusts people now and how she doesn’t have people to hang with anymore, makes me view D.C. differently, but life in general. It seems that as I listened to many things that have happened in her life, that the overall theme is that people cannot be trusted.
I mean I have made some real friendships here. I do not talk to friends everyday, because I and they are just so busy with our kids and day-to-day activities. I have grown comfortable in my solitude to a degree. My daughter is in the city right now, right after leaving a sleepover,and as much as i don’t want to talk some mornings and like to “do me”, it sure is an empty home without her.
I don’t want to be so non-trusting. I do teach my child that you can’t put yourself out there for people all of the time. I also tell her that you can’t be so readily available to people all of the time. But I don’t want to have stories to share with her that always revolve around me getting screwed over, or being left alone. I want to teach her that life is beautiful, with let-downs of course. But that there great people and opportunities out there.
I want to impart wisdom to my child that does not make her so weary and wary of life and of people that she goes around afraid and unwilling to take risks. I want her to truly realize the life that she has been given is a gift from God.
Many of us do not live up to the potential that we could. Many of us do not reach for the stars and go for what we dream of. But, even if one hasn’t grown up to be whom they hoped to be, there is always time to do something different or new. I know that it is cliché’ to say this, but learn a language, travel, join a book club, start a new hobby. These things are so simplistic, but can change one’s life in great ways. I truly think that these things can be the difference between living a life with bitter memories, or living a life full of creating new ones with positive experiences and positive people.
Stay warm everyone. It is freezing in D.C.
Simply~
Dee
I’m not the kind of woman who gets pedicures or haircuts on a regular basis. I probably get pedis done 2/3 times a year-max. I get my hair cut maybe once or twice a year. I dress nice and wear cute accessories, but wear little makeup. I am low maintenance in a material or superficial sense.
But,for the things that matter the most, I am super high maintenance. I expect for birthdays and holidays to be big. Not just for me, but for whomever is in my immediate family or circle. I like to be told that I matter. I want to be appreciated. I want to be able to tell that who I am means a lot to who I deal with, because I give all of my heart to my family and friends. I don’t want to be recognized, I just don’t want to be taken for granted.
Those things make me high maintenance. Even though we ate at Capital Grille today and I got my daughter an American Girl item at the mall and we got spa treatments,those things are nice a few times a year, but just are not as important to me as they are to others.
I carry an old Michael Kors purse that my friend gave me when she was cleaning out her closet. The wristlet/wallet inside of it was a gift from another friend. I am wearing Uggs that are 3 years old and a dress and scarf that are probably the same age.
My point is, that I have realized that I am more of a romantic and idealist when it comes to matters of the heart rather than what a man spends on me. One of my best Valentine’s ever is one where my boyfriend and I went to a town about an hour and a half away and he had pre-planned all of these surprise for me throughout the downtown area. Every place we stopped, there would be rose petals on the steps, or a sign and a stuffed animal in a jewelry case, or a heart charm. None of those items were major status symbols. They were probably not coveted by anyone that I knew, but there was thought behind them.
I am not tooting my own horn, and I am not saying that I would not accept a Cartier lock necklace because that would be a lie. I just wish that more people cared about the way in which they were treated or how much their loved one helped them in different areas of their life, than what their relationship appeared to others.
That guy that did all of those sweet things, was one of the least attractive guys I dated, at least according to my friends. But he made me the happiest. He drove an old truck that used to be his grandfather’s and he worked part-time at the Gap and though he was in his mid 20’s, he was still completing his degree. People used to ask me what I saw in him. I would always say, “he treats me like a queen”. It was the Happy Anniversary cards every month on the 18th. It was how we would stay at my place until I fell asleep and then he would drive home. The reason we did not work out, is that he was not ready for marriage and I was. Ten years later he got married and I was already married with a child that was in kindergarten.
It is amazing that though he did not have the “swagger”, or abs or “hot car”, he is the one that had the biggest impact. He calls me from time to time, and I have even visited with he and his wife. I wonder if I would have been satisfied with him as a long-time partner, or if he was someone who was good for me at that point in my life but would not satisfy who I am today.
Nonetheless, he taught me (or God did through him), what romantic love should be. So perhaps that is why I wore my red today and was all smiles all day, without having a guy in my life, I am just not willing to settle unless I get someone as good as, what my friends referred to as “the strange one”, or someone even better. A person suited just for me. I am waiting God! And, I am going to smile and be happy because a relationship does not make who you are. I am just glad that I had money to do nice things today, and honestly blessed because I woke up yet another day!
So,I think for all of the men and women out there that feel bad about themselves this weekend, just rest assured that being alone is better than being with someone and feeling lonely. I have done the lonely in a relationship thing and it is the worst.
Happy hearts weekend friends. Love is a gift. Share it wherever you go, and good will come to you. I promise.
Simply~
Dee
Simply Dee in D.C. 