I’m not the kind of woman who gets pedicures or haircuts on a regular basis. I probably get pedis done 2/3 times a year-max. I get my hair cut maybe once or twice a year. I dress nice and wear cute accessories, but wear little makeup. I am low maintenance in a material or superficial sense.
But,for the things that matter the most, I am super high maintenance. I expect for birthdays and holidays to be big. Not just for me, but for whomever is in my immediate family or circle. I like to be told that I matter. I want to be appreciated. I want to be able to tell that who I am means a lot to who I deal with, because I give all of my heart to my family and friends. I don’t want to be recognized, I just don’t want to be taken for granted.
Those things make me high maintenance. Even though we ate at Capital Grille today and I got my daughter an American Girl item at the mall and we got spa treatments,those things are nice a few times a year, but just are not as important to me as they are to others.
I carry an old Michael Kors purse that my friend gave me when she was cleaning out her closet. The wristlet/wallet inside of it was a gift from another friend. I am wearing Uggs that are 3 years old and a dress and scarf that are probably the same age.
My point is, that I have realized that I am more of a romantic and idealist when it comes to matters of the heart rather than what a man spends on me. One of my best Valentine’s ever is one where my boyfriend and I went to a town about an hour and a half away and he had pre-planned all of these surprise for me throughout the downtown area. Every place we stopped, there would be rose petals on the steps, or a sign and a stuffed animal in a jewelry case, or a heart charm. None of those items were major status symbols. They were probably not coveted by anyone that I knew, but there was thought behind them.
I am not tooting my own horn, and I am not saying that I would not accept a Cartier lock necklace because that would be a lie. I just wish that more people cared about the way in which they were treated or how much their loved one helped them in different areas of their life, than what their relationship appeared to others.
That guy that did all of those sweet things, was one of the least attractive guys I dated, at least according to my friends. But he made me the happiest. He drove an old truck that used to be his grandfather’s and he worked part-time at the Gap and though he was in his mid 20’s, he was still completing his degree. People used to ask me what I saw in him. I would always say, “he treats me like a queen”. It was the Happy Anniversary cards every month on the 18th. It was how we would stay at my place until I fell asleep and then he would drive home. The reason we did not work out, is that he was not ready for marriage and I was. Ten years later he got married and I was already married with a child that was in kindergarten.
It is amazing that though he did not have the “swagger”, or abs or “hot car”, he is the one that had the biggest impact. He calls me from time to time, and I have even visited with he and his wife. I wonder if I would have been satisfied with him as a long-time partner, or if he was someone who was good for me at that point in my life but would not satisfy who I am today.
Nonetheless, he taught me (or God did through him), what romantic love should be. So perhaps that is why I wore my red today and was all smiles all day, without having a guy in my life, I am just not willing to settle unless I get someone as good as, what my friends referred to as “the strange one”, or someone even better. A person suited just for me. I am waiting God! And, I am going to smile and be happy because a relationship does not make who you are. I am just glad that I had money to do nice things today, and honestly blessed because I woke up yet another day!
So,I think for all of the men and women out there that feel bad about themselves this weekend, just rest assured that being alone is better than being with someone and feeling lonely. I have done the lonely in a relationship thing and it is the worst.
Happy hearts weekend friends. Love is a gift. Share it wherever you go, and good will come to you. I promise.