So, I am not saying I am Oprah or Iyanla or Dalai Lama. I am just a thinker. A deep thinker. Even when I was at my most “ratchet” in my younger years, I always felt intensely. I am super … Continue reading
Category Archives: Jesus Christ
So, I was crying yesterday over lost pics and people around the world were crying too…
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So, yesterday I took my 6-year-old laptop to be fixed because a Dell remote support person messed up my HP while trying to fix her Dell. Long story. Long, annoying and jacked up story. ML told me to take it … Continue reading
So, sometimes do you wish to be saved by someone?
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I know, I know. I am a modern girl living in a modern world. So why does someone need to save me. They don’t need to. I just want them to! I know the feminists out there are banging their … Continue reading
So, I can’t understand for the life of me why I find it so difficult to be alone with my thoughts…
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I sat down to pray before going to bed the other night. The good old-fashioned kneeling down by the bed and sharing my thoughts silently with God. I can never do it for long. It’s like I feel bad for asking, or I don’t know what to say, or it makes the problem too real. Do any of you ever have that problem?
Night time brings all of my worries/fear/insecurities racing right up to me at 80 miles an hour and I feel that is when I have to fix all of those issues. Or, at least attempt to. I wish I didn’t have to watch Gilmore Girls to help me not think of things. Or an action movie, or for instance what I am watching right now-Bridget Jones’ Diary.
I wish I could just face the problems head on by asking/telling the creator of the universe. My creator! I wish I could open my heart and mind enough to trust and believe and hand over my burdens. But, it is so hard to believe that I can be that success story or the recipient of a miracle.
I really want to believe it. I try to be positive. I try to have a good attitude and believe the best will happen and that God will help me to make a way. I mean honestly, I always do “make it”. But I want to do more than just get by or to just be run of the mill or live normally.
I try to speak out good things and treat people kindly and I do believe that I have a Father who is the archetict of not only my life, but everything. But, I always seem to slip through the cracks. I have yet to get the job I need to truly support myself and my daughter. I pray on it. I look for jobs. I have a buttload of degrees, but nothing has changed.
I am still doing menial and mind-numbing work and it isn’t paying the bills. Do I push on like I do when I can’t lose those next 20 pounds? Am I supposed to trust and give all of my problems and issues and fears to Jesus Christ when I can’t see or hear what I am to do?
I guess that is what faith is all about. I do believe that Jesus is my savior, but aren’t I supposed to put effort in to better my life? It’s like there is such a fine line between handing over problems to God/and doing nothing to change my situation that I have not a clue how much of either side to give. If I am confusing any of you, so sorry. But to be honest I am confused.
Have a good night and God Bless
Simply~
Dee
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Poetry can be found everywhere and in many things, even in blogging…
I was watching one of my new favorite spy shows today on my Amazon-The Americans, and I realized that the Russian language can be very beautiful and even poetic sounding. I was in the shower and listening to it and I think if I had been watching the people and listening, I would not have picked up on the beauty.
I always thought that Russian and German and many of the Eastern European languages sounded a bit harsh, with no melody. And, I am not against those people or anything, I am of German heritage. I just never thought that they held the romance that French or Italian does. Then, I heard someone speaking Russian at Barnes and Noble one day and I thought that it was French. I guess maybe different regions speak it in different ways with different accents. Very similar to the way that the U.S. is with Northern accents, Southern accents and Midwestern accents.
So between that day and this television show, I realized that if we listen close enough or even look close enough that poetry and beauty is all around us in so many situations. That person that angrily beeped when you didn’t go through the light fast enough could be coming from the house of her sister who has dementia and maybe she in a hurry to get to her job to help pay the bills for them both. Or, that annoying person that answers for an insurance company when calling about claims that has a thick accent and can’t seem to understand anything, she/he is working for nickels and learning English in the process and for them it is a great feat.
I am sometimes the person honking the horn, and I am sometimes the one who gets annoyed. In the midst of my annoyance, I truly do try to think of people and though they may seem selfish or dense, who knows what is going on in their life. There are tons of things that happen where ugly and evil are written all over these particular incidents. But somehow, in the midst of a storm in life, you will hear something beautiful. Like the mom who forgave the person who killed her son. Or the person that risked their life to get one more person out of the burning building. I do not know how I spun hearing the Russian language spoken on a show into all of this. Nevertheless, beauty and poetry are everywhere, and our creator is the author and artist of it all.
Simply~
Dee
Simply Dee in D.C. 