So, I am trying to balance this whole single mom, working mom, chauffeur to camp, communications director for a political campaign, nanny, girlfriend/almost fiancée, virtual assistant thing. So yeah, I am doing all of that. The single mom/working mom and chauffeur thing is just being a mom. But all the rest of it are different roles I play, or things in my life that I am doing or juggling or that are important to me. Out of the whole list, being a mom and a girlfriend/soon to be fiancee are all that matter.
Who cares what one does for a living? In the D.C. area and a lot of the world, I guess a lot of people do. I have been meeting some very important and influential folks lately as a result of the political communications thing I am doing and they are great and interesting. And I love the lady for whom I am doing the work because she is not the quintessential politician. But all of the connections I am making don’t mean a hill of beans to me compared to my guy and my daughter.
I have been gone away from blogging a lot because of pain and sadness and worry earlier this year. Job loss, child custody drama, finances, broken car, etc. But a lot of it has been because of my man whom I have been dating for over 9 months (talking for 10 months 4 hours a day!) and because of my child. Last year, I lost myself. I was trying to find love and was a failure at it on my own. Then God stepped in and brought me the first man whom I have not only truly loved, but whom is also a best friend at the same time. So he is a huge part of the reason that I stepped away from things, though he encourages me to write, I have focused on him and our future!
Then, I was trying to make up for 6 months that I was gone 55 hours a week away from my child and the 3 months before that when I was just not myself. I wasn’t happy. I was almost obsessed with the idea of no longer being lonely. I don’t feel at that time I was the best mother ever. I mean I still took my daughter places and took her to and from camp and home schooled her and loved her and cared for her. To the average person, I was the same, but internally I was not. I was distracted and just not me. So I have beat myself up for the 4 1/2 months that I have been working from home again at how terrible I was in 2016. So I am trying to be the best version of myself that I can be for my daughter and relish every moment with her because she starts public school in the fall and has been at home for 6 years.
So there you have it. It is not like I don’t want to share thoughts with you all anymore. Or hear wonderful advice, or engage with you all. I have just been living my life. Live. In bright colors. Trying to savor moments and capture the memories within my heart. Now that I have figured out my schedule and am finding a balance between my 3 jobs, I feel that I can write and express again. I tried typing up stuff on IG for a while and it was great. But it wasn’t enough. My man is always telling me that my art is my writing and blogging is the only real way to express it and get responses and engage. Social media is so short-sighted and isn’t built for real words. For depth or a real attention span.
In addition to blogging, I started walking again today after not exercising hardly at all since February. I had 3 plus months of asthma, so I got out of shape quickly! And if I can get my Bible reading on track, then all will be right with my world. Truly. For the first time ever, besides the years of contentment with my child, I feel really happy. I have a man who takes care of me and I take care of him. My child has really gotten in an acting and singing niche which will be great for her when she is in school. My finances are still way behind, but I am trying. Some of us can carry on with our love of writing or painting or cooking or whatever it may be no matter what. Maybe some have more passion for their talents than others. Or in my case, maybe I am finally in the 4th decade of my life figuring things out.
I have always been a late bloomer. A slow starter. No matter what people think about me or how accomplished I may not appear to others, I am so content in my life right now. With my family of 4-my daughter, my guy, myself and my cat. Maybe our family will grow larger after getting married next year, or maybe it won’t. But as I have said before and I will say again. My cup runneth over…