Monthly Archives: February 2015

So, I either need a full time job or I have to turn off my “thinker” sometimes…

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I wish that I were the kind of person that did not reflect, ponder, and contemplate so much. About everything. I may be in line at the grocery store and see a plastic bag and think of global warming. I may be talking with a friend over coffee to catch up about the wedding that she is planning and I may discuss or at least think about the decline of marriage and family in this country.

It’s not like I am not super fun. Even though I am serious and considerate of important and relevant issues, I have a silly side. I make up silly raps and stories with my kid. I call my cat a million different crazy names and name our friends’ pets silly names too. I go ice skating and bike riding and snow tubing.

But, I can’t help my constant thinking about major issues. I listen to talk radio. I read news online. I follow people who have something important to say. Yeah, I am on Instagram with a “famous” housewife or two as well. But most of the people who I follow either have inspirational/religious quotes on their page or they are sharing something that is a worthy cause that I believe in or want to spread the word about as well.

I am glad I have God-given brains. I would not have done as well in college or grad school if I was not intelligent. But I wish that I was like so many people who I know that live for whatever is going on in their small little world and they do not think about or concern themselves with much more. I would not say that they are simple-minded, but maybe self-centered? Either term is not a positive. Regardless, I wish that I were one of those people who took selfies all day and showed my latest nail color on whatever social media site. Okay, maybe not that shallow, but less deep.

But, I am not. So, I will embrace the over-thinker that I am and maybe change the world with some of my thoughts or musings or theories. Or, maybe I can support the world changers. Nevertheless, I will have to find a way to “turn off” my deep thinking sometimes in order to relax and enjoy life a little more.

I am wondering if perhaps a romantic interest will help with that??? 🙂

Simply~

Dee

Okay, so you know how I am all kumbaya and so zen about hibernating in February?

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So, I have been so happy about doing nothing. See, the thing is-I get paid even when I don’t have to work. So, these snow days, have been super sweet. I was so excited about being under the covers and watching tv. But there is no tv in my room. Then I realized after looking at Cox Contour on my iPad, that there was nothing good to watch. So I went to their on-demand and it wasn’t working. So, I watched on Amazon, the Americans. But that got too gory. Then I realized I wanted/needed to read the Bible and then I got sleepy. Then after I couldn’t sleep, I got up.

You get the point. All of this bundling up like an Eskimo, and looking at the picturesque snow is great. But I am quickly getting bored. My daughter has a class every Wednesday morning with other church members who are grown ups, but she loves it. She informed me that her throat hurt, so she slept until 10. Then, an Ash Wednesday supper that we were helping with got canceled. Obviously my morning job got canceled because my kid got to sleep in. I was dreading the day as far as how I was going to fit 7 or 8 steps in to make it to all of our events and responsibilities. But now that she only has piano, I am somewhat bummed.

This relaxing and doing nothing thing was great for about 6 weeks after being sick for 3 months in the fall. I mean I was in and out of urgent care, trying different antibiotics, and just could not feel better. Then, once I did, Christmas was over and the big play, I felt better. But all I wanted to do was sleep. My body needed it. BIG TIME. Okay, I think I am all caught up. Darn that Punxsutawney Phil. I normally grin and bear it during winter.

But even though I am not bathing suit ready, I am more like a super long cover up ready, I embrace my chubbiness enough to get out of this weather! I may have 20 pounds to go to feel decent lying by the pool. But to heck with it! Maybe I will lose that much by the end of May. Maybe I will lose 30! I don’t even care about that right now. Me and my Eskimo jacket body is ready to get warm and take walks and ride my bike.

Hope that you are staying warm if you are in the Northeast/Mid-Atlantic like we are or even worse, the frigid Midwest. Have a great week. Maybe if we all think Spring, everything will thaw out sooner than predicted:)

Simply~

Dee

What a wonderful day: Blogging, warm food and chilling in the bed…

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I love a snowstorm. I love the silence that it brings outside. Very few people are out on their patios. Most people run to their cars at an Olympians pace, not taking time to marvel at the beauty of it all. I stand out in it in pure awe. Every time. I love the way it crunches under my feet. I love how the D.C. area goes into a milk, bread, TP panic because we are not fiscally prepared to handle real weather woes. I love the annoying parents who complain that their kids will miss a day of school, the lives of their kids be damned, they just don’t want for their kids to be at home. I especially love troop meetings being canceled and play rehearsals (this pertains to us specifically).

In a nutshell, I lie around in half-dream state thinking of what should be done, what I could be doing and how many calories I need to burn. But, I eat my sweet potato fries with mustard as if I am bikini ready. When in all reality, I am more Eskimo jacket ready:). I like, strike that, love how January and February forces me to slow the heck down. We still have classes and play dates, and rehearsals, and engagements and work. But, they occur on a more irregular schedule.

All of this sounds silly coming from someone who checks in all over the place from VA to GA on social media. I rarely slow down. This is God’s way of making me chill out, reboot, and prioritize. I am usually hyper in thought and in action and it is very hard for me to sit down and focus. I am similar to my favorite line from You Got Mail, “She makes coffee nervous”. That is me, or not far off. But thank God I am not annoying like the character that Tom Hanks is speaking of-Parker Posey. She almost annoys me as much as Sarah Silverman, almost. But I don’t think anyone can be that aggravating.

Anyway, now to catch up on my devotional. And read my Bible. And to keep up the job search. Perhaps after a nice little evening snooze :).

Simply~

Dee

P.S. Prayers go out to the homeless animals and people that have had to endure these negative temperatures. I hope that they make it through all of this weather…

Writing, Pedicure, Fancy lunch out-A perfect day for me and my little Valetine

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I’m not the kind of woman who gets pedicures or haircuts on a regular basis. I probably get pedis done 2/3 times a year-max. I get my hair cut maybe once or twice a year. I dress nice and wear cute accessories, but wear little makeup. I am low maintenance in a material or superficial sense.

But,for the things that matter the most, I am super high maintenance. I expect for birthdays and holidays to be big. Not just for me, but for whomever is in my immediate family or circle. I like to be told that I matter. I want to be appreciated. I want to be able to tell that who I am means a lot to who I deal with, because I give all of my heart to my family and friends. I don’t want to be recognized, I just don’t want to be taken for granted.

Those things make me high maintenance. Even though we ate at Capital Grille today and I got my daughter an American Girl item at the mall and we got spa treatments,those things are nice a few times a year, but just are not as important to me as they are to others.

I carry an old Michael Kors purse that my friend gave me when she was cleaning out her closet. The wristlet/wallet inside of it was a gift from another friend. I am wearing Uggs that are 3 years old and a dress and scarf that are probably the same age.

My point is, that I have realized that I am more of a romantic and idealist when it comes to matters of the heart rather than what a man spends on me. One of my best Valentine’s ever is one where my boyfriend and I went to a town about an hour and a half away and he had pre-planned all of these surprise for me throughout the downtown area. Every place we stopped, there would be rose petals on the steps, or a sign and a stuffed animal in a jewelry case, or a heart charm. None of those items were major status symbols. They were probably not coveted by anyone that I knew, but there was thought behind them.

I am not tooting my own horn, and I am not saying that I would not accept a Cartier lock necklace because that would be a lie. I just wish that more people cared about the way in which they were treated or how much their loved one helped them in different areas of their life, than what their relationship appeared to others.

That guy that did all of those sweet things, was one of the least attractive guys I dated, at least according to my friends. But he made me the happiest. He drove an old truck that used to be his grandfather’s and he worked part-time at the Gap and though he was in his mid 20’s, he was still completing his degree. People used to ask me what I saw in him. I would always say, “he treats me like a queen”. It was the Happy Anniversary cards every month on the 18th. It was how we would stay at my place until I fell asleep and then he would drive home. The reason we did not work out, is that he was not ready for marriage and I was. Ten years later he got married and I was already married with a child that was in kindergarten.

It is amazing that though he did not have the “swagger”, or abs or “hot car”, he is the one that had the biggest impact. He calls me from time to time, and I have even visited with he and his wife. I wonder if I would have been satisfied with him as  a long-time partner, or if he was someone who was good for me at that point in my life but would not satisfy who I am today.

Nonetheless, he taught me (or God did through him), what romantic love should be. So perhaps that is why I wore my red today and was all smiles all day, without having a guy in my life, I am just not willing to settle unless I get someone as good as, what my friends referred to as “the strange one”, or someone even better. A person suited just for me. I am waiting God! And, I am going to smile and be happy because a relationship does not make who you are. I am just glad that I had money to do nice things today, and honestly blessed because I woke up yet another day!

So,I think for all of the men and women out there that feel bad about themselves this weekend, just rest assured that being alone is better than being with someone and feeling lonely. I have done the lonely in a relationship thing and it is the worst.

Happy hearts weekend friends. Love is a gift. Share it wherever you go, and good will come to you. I promise.

Simply~

Dee

Poetry can be found everywhere and in many things, even in blogging…

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I was watching one of my new favorite spy shows today on my Amazon-The Americans, and I realized that the Russian language can be very beautiful and even poetic sounding. I was in the shower and listening to it and I think if I had been watching the people and listening, I would not have picked up on the beauty.

I always thought that Russian and German and many of the Eastern European languages sounded a bit harsh, with no melody. And, I am not against those people or anything, I am of German heritage. I just never thought that they held the romance that French or Italian does. Then, I heard someone speaking Russian at Barnes and Noble one day and I thought that it was French. I guess maybe different regions speak it in different ways with different accents. Very similar to the way that the U.S. is with Northern accents, Southern accents and Midwestern accents.

So between that day and this television show, I realized that if we listen close enough or even look close enough that poetry and beauty is all around us in so many situations. That person that angrily beeped when you didn’t go through the light fast enough could be coming from the house of her sister who has dementia and maybe she in a hurry to get to her job to help pay the bills for them both. Or, that annoying person that answers for an insurance company when calling about claims that has a thick accent and can’t seem to understand anything, she/he is working for nickels and learning English in the process and for them it is a great feat.

I am sometimes the person honking the horn, and I am sometimes the one who gets annoyed. In the midst of my annoyance, I truly do try to think of people and though they may seem selfish or dense, who knows what is going on in their life. There are tons of things that happen where ugly and evil are written all over these particular incidents. But somehow, in the midst of a storm in life, you will hear something beautiful. Like the mom who forgave the person who killed her son. Or the person that risked their life to get one more person out of the burning building. I do not know how I spun hearing the Russian language spoken on a show into all of this. Nevertheless, beauty and poetry are everywhere, and our creator is the author and artist of it all.

Simply~

Dee

I’m happy for others, I really am. And then I go home and binge eat Boom Chicka Pop Popcorn…

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So, I am happy for others. I really am. That is my mantra. Or my story. And, I am sticking with it. I really do try to be positive about my life. I have a ridiculously talented and thoughtful and amazing child. I have a small but cute and cozy place. I live in the nation’s most important city-D.C. I know that everyone thought I was going to say NYC. Sorry, D.C. is the center of the universe in a different way.

Anyway, I am thankful. I truly am. I know that I can do better with my education. I truly can. I can do better with my diet. I did not have to eat the whole bag of Boom Chicka Pop, now my Weight Watchers points have gone to hell! Okay, I am glad that my friend has a real nice, decent and fabulous man in her life. He will be the perfect step dad. I feel like they are a great couple and it is awesome that she met him on the last day that she was going to do a dating site.

But, I am fine. I have my kid. I have my tv shows. My occasional mom’s night out dinners, my writing, my Bible, our trips to the museums and weekends to NYC every few months. Or, am I incredibly lonely and hungry for romance? I love doing Valentine’s with my kid and going to fancy places for lunch and getting pedicures and watching a girly movie. It’s fun. But is this freaking holiday reminding me that I have a little empty spot in my heart that all of these other things-though major, can’t fulfill?

I am happy. The smile is real. But there may be a slight twinge of sadness underneath this tough facade. I may be actually happy and grateful and blessed, but lacking. It’s akin to putting together an outfit and realizing that a scarf would complete the ensemble. Or, having salmon and a salad, knowing that risotto would complete the meal. Cheesy analogies, but you get the point.

I love my life. I really do. But I think that I would appreciate a card from a special someone. Or the roses. Or the kind words. I need love. Not from family or friends. I am good on that. I could really really use romance.:) Until then, mommy I love you will do. It always makes my life better. But I am definitely Waiting for God to work his miracles.:)

Simply~

Dee

Is it just me, or has rap gone from political to pitiful?

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I used to LOVE Tupac and Biggie. In a big way. I thought that Run DMC was cool, and then these guys came along. The poetry of Tupac was like no other. He told in a “street” fashion, the way of life where he grew up and was so brutally honest about what he did to get where he was. It was refreshingly honest and raw and real. I had never heard anything like it in my life. It wasn’t angry and political like Public Enemy or NWA (though they had a lot of talent too)

. It was like I could visualize what he went through from birth until that very moment. He (Pac) used his words to inspire, not to incite or tear down his people. Biggie was different. He was smooth and east coast all the way, which I love because I love everything NYC. He was so unattractive, but his lyrics made women feel attracted to him. He was honest too, but more about how he stacked dollars, less poetic but still truthful about his journey.

I hear the “durty south” crap now, and it annoys me even more because I am from down that way, and I think: “Are you kidding me? This stuff sucks.”  No thought. Little talent, and a good beat. That is about it. I think for me, Common would be some one that is modern whom I would consider passionate and real. He is not mainstream in the way that Jay Z is, I like Jay, but it is the same ole same ole with him sometimes. Here I am again with my old skool…

This is not my usual kind of topic, but today is Monday so anything goes!:)