So, I am happy for others. I really am. That is my mantra. Or my story. And, I am sticking with it. I really do try to be positive about my life. I have a ridiculously talented and thoughtful and amazing child. I have a small but cute and cozy place. I live in the nation’s most important city-D.C. I know that everyone thought I was going to say NYC. Sorry, D.C. is the center of the universe in a different way.
Anyway, I am thankful. I truly am. I know that I can do better with my education. I truly can. I can do better with my diet. I did not have to eat the whole bag of Boom Chicka Pop, now my Weight Watchers points have gone to hell! Okay, I am glad that my friend has a real nice, decent and fabulous man in her life. He will be the perfect step dad. I feel like they are a great couple and it is awesome that she met him on the last day that she was going to do a dating site.
But, I am fine. I have my kid. I have my tv shows. My occasional mom’s night out dinners, my writing, my Bible, our trips to the museums and weekends to NYC every few months. Or, am I incredibly lonely and hungry for romance? I love doing Valentine’s with my kid and going to fancy places for lunch and getting pedicures and watching a girly movie. It’s fun. But is this freaking holiday reminding me that I have a little empty spot in my heart that all of these other things-though major, can’t fulfill?
I am happy. The smile is real. But there may be a slight twinge of sadness underneath this tough facade. I may be actually happy and grateful and blessed, but lacking. It’s akin to putting together an outfit and realizing that a scarf would complete the ensemble. Or, having salmon and a salad, knowing that risotto would complete the meal. Cheesy analogies, but you get the point.
I love my life. I really do. But I think that I would appreciate a card from a special someone. Or the roses. Or the kind words. I need love. Not from family or friends. I am good on that. I could really really use romance.:) Until then, mommy I love you will do. It always makes my life better. But I am definitely Waiting for God to work his miracles.:)