Tag Archives: Blogging

So, I have been gone forever from here and I should be ashamed!!!

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So, there has been a play that my kid was in that took up all of our time. She is filming an independent film this weekend, she is in another play this summer, we have had weddings, and guests galore for 2 months! How have you guys been? I have been doing my part-time office manager job from home, and shuttling kids around and just living life.

Something amazing! I have lost 20 lbs from April 20th up until June 7th. I eat 5 times a day, and drink 100 oz of water a day and workout 3 days a week. I really need to up my working out game to 5 days a week, but we have been swamped! We had 21 nights and 22 days of guests.

So, I am back. A lot has happened in the world.  A lot of protests against police, too much lienency towards Iran, a cool and courageous go rode a bikecopter to deliver letters to the sorry senators, a crazy jealous stage mom trying to sabotage myself and my kid, planning for my kids next birthday which is going to be huge, (6 mos away) and we went to Disney!

There is no real excuse for me not being on here, except being so preoccupied with everything and not focusing enough time on my interests. Do you ever find yourself doing things for everyone else, but not spending much time on yourself because you are too spent at the end of the day? I am so bad about not taking even 30 minutes a day to pray or write, or just be still. I’m not really complaining though because I love this time of my life with my daughter. When she is grown, I will have all of the time in the world to be alone with my thoughts, my writing, and my books.

Good night, and enjoy every moment of life with the people who you love because life is fleeting.

Simply~

Dee:)

Do you ever feel like when people say ask and you shall receive that it doesn’t apply to you?

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So, I have a decent life. Cute little condo/apt/flat. Adorable and intelligent kid. Fat cat. Fabulous mom. But, I am lacking the “big money” and “the man”. Those 2 things get to me sometimes. The money more than the man. To be honest, I don’t want “big” money, just enough money.

I think about all of the tragedies in Kenya and other parts of Africa and the Middle East with those sick and twisted terrorists and I know that I have a good life. I really do. But, I am so sick of waiting for my ship to come in. I want to go on the longer vacation or not have to find a dress for a wedding that I am a part of on clearance.

Nothing fancy, just having a consistent income that can provide for us without the help of my mom. Having to pay her back is always on my mind. She doesn’t want the money back or doesn’t consider it a loan when she helps me. But nonetheless, I am grown and do not want to need her to help me out. I have always worked jobs even when I am bright enough and educated enough to have a real career.

I am so not lazy. I am motivated to do better. I just haven’t gotten there. Do not get me wrong, I am not job searching 24/7. But there are limitations on jobs that I can take. They can’t be nights, weekends, or with travel because I am a single parent with no family nearby.

I do not spend every waking moment looking for the dream job. I work to pay my bills and hope for the best and put in an application when I can. I just kind of feel like it is hard to find the kind of work I need to fit my schedule with my child and to provide for us without me working multiple gigs.

I mean, I take care of children, I run errands and dog walk. There is no shame in my game. But when one of my part-time things come to an end, like my recent loss of 600 per month, I am screwed. I was beginning to get ahead and pay some credit cards down. I really owe a lot on car repair ones as well as a vet credit account and I was really cutting them down substantially. Until last week.

So, here I am struggling even more, again. I want to do something real, with more permanence. Something I love. I don’t want to help people with their dreams all of the time while wishing I was doing anything else than working for them or with them. It’s not the people, I just want to do something meaningful to me that will last and pay the bills.

That is where I get around to the part about when people say: Just ask God and you will receive, I want to believe it works for me. I know God loves me and always has my back. But, I never have a door open, or at least I don’t feel like it. I feel like I have a tiny porthole in the form of a tutoring gig. But I don’t have a larger window or sliding glass door in the form of something substantial.

I have student loans to pay and credit accounts and have to keep a roof over our head and the car running. Of course, we do some leisure activities and my kid is forever acting in one gig or another, so we have some money. But since I lost that little job last week, I have to say goodbye to cable this week. We did not have it for over 2 years and my mom suggested that my daughter would love to have it again.

In the meantime, I have gotten used to it and now I have to tell my night-time entertainment goodbye. But that is such a First World Problem and I know it. But, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to do better and provide better and improve myself.

I hope that someone out there like Revolutionary Christian or another of you wonderful readers and bloggers will pray for me. I really am at a tricky point in my life right now. I got this major feeling that God was helping me to leave a situation that I detested in order to stop being stagnant and being stuck in “just mode”.

Just getting by. Just getting enough sleep. Just making ends meet. Just doing what I gotta do.

Thanks for listening and reading and bearing with me while I try to figure out how to trust God more and how to believe that I can achieve greater things and that God will fix it all for me.

Good night.

Simply~

Dee

What a wonderful day: Blogging, warm food and chilling in the bed…

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I love a snowstorm. I love the silence that it brings outside. Very few people are out on their patios. Most people run to their cars at an Olympians pace, not taking time to marvel at the beauty of it all. I stand out in it in pure awe. Every time. I love the way it crunches under my feet. I love how the D.C. area goes into a milk, bread, TP panic because we are not fiscally prepared to handle real weather woes. I love the annoying parents who complain that their kids will miss a day of school, the lives of their kids be damned, they just don’t want for their kids to be at home. I especially love troop meetings being canceled and play rehearsals (this pertains to us specifically).

In a nutshell, I lie around in half-dream state thinking of what should be done, what I could be doing and how many calories I need to burn. But, I eat my sweet potato fries with mustard as if I am bikini ready. When in all reality, I am more Eskimo jacket ready:). I like, strike that, love how January and February forces me to slow the heck down. We still have classes and play dates, and rehearsals, and engagements and work. But, they occur on a more irregular schedule.

All of this sounds silly coming from someone who checks in all over the place from VA to GA on social media. I rarely slow down. This is God’s way of making me chill out, reboot, and prioritize. I am usually hyper in thought and in action and it is very hard for me to sit down and focus. I am similar to my favorite line from You Got Mail, “She makes coffee nervous”. That is me, or not far off. But thank God I am not annoying like the character that Tom Hanks is speaking of-Parker Posey. She almost annoys me as much as Sarah Silverman, almost. But I don’t think anyone can be that aggravating.

Anyway, now to catch up on my devotional. And read my Bible. And to keep up the job search. Perhaps after a nice little evening snooze :).

Simply~

Dee

P.S. Prayers go out to the homeless animals and people that have had to endure these negative temperatures. I hope that they make it through all of this weather…

Poetry can be found everywhere and in many things, even in blogging…

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I was watching one of my new favorite spy shows today on my Amazon-The Americans, and I realized that the Russian language can be very beautiful and even poetic sounding. I was in the shower and listening to it and I think if I had been watching the people and listening, I would not have picked up on the beauty.

I always thought that Russian and German and many of the Eastern European languages sounded a bit harsh, with no melody. And, I am not against those people or anything, I am of German heritage. I just never thought that they held the romance that French or Italian does. Then, I heard someone speaking Russian at Barnes and Noble one day and I thought that it was French. I guess maybe different regions speak it in different ways with different accents. Very similar to the way that the U.S. is with Northern accents, Southern accents and Midwestern accents.

So between that day and this television show, I realized that if we listen close enough or even look close enough that poetry and beauty is all around us in so many situations. That person that angrily beeped when you didn’t go through the light fast enough could be coming from the house of her sister who has dementia and maybe she in a hurry to get to her job to help pay the bills for them both. Or, that annoying person that answers for an insurance company when calling about claims that has a thick accent and can’t seem to understand anything, she/he is working for nickels and learning English in the process and for them it is a great feat.

I am sometimes the person honking the horn, and I am sometimes the one who gets annoyed. In the midst of my annoyance, I truly do try to think of people and though they may seem selfish or dense, who knows what is going on in their life. There are tons of things that happen where ugly and evil are written all over these particular incidents. But somehow, in the midst of a storm in life, you will hear something beautiful. Like the mom who forgave the person who killed her son. Or the person that risked their life to get one more person out of the burning building. I do not know how I spun hearing the Russian language spoken on a show into all of this. Nevertheless, beauty and poetry are everywhere, and our creator is the author and artist of it all.

Simply~

Dee

So, I am blogging about my usual-EVERYTHING:)

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Tonight was decent. I was actually babysitting, and fell asleep for 2 hours. But hey, in my defense, the kid is almost 10 and my kid was building a fort with her in the next room. So all was good. I am just so fatigued because I have that early morning gig for 2 hours Monday-Friday and I am always so afraid that I am going to miss it that I wake up literally off and on all night looking at my cell. I am just not an early morning person. My ideal life? Go to bed at 3 and wake up at 10 or 11-true story.

So, I was just writing to a friend who is a decade older about how sad it is that she is moving soon and I haven’t hung out with her pretty much the whole time I have known her. Back story, I used to babysit her kids after school and one of those “kids” is soon to be 21, and I have a much younger kid. So, we have been in each other’s lives, but not really in each other’s close circle of friends because we are at just such different life stages. As I type this I truly cannot believe we met 10 years ago. I did not take her for granted because we were really connected by her kids, but it’s kind of like I knew she was in the D.C. area and did not think that she would leave. Well, she got a cash offer on her house, which is amazing because houses are super expensive here. And, she is out of here in a few weeks!! So much for her living across town, but her new digs down south will be fab so I see a road trip in the future:).

Tomorrow, we are going tubing. Not river tubing, but snow tubing! Yay! I am taking my kid out of obligation. Not that I do not like going. Not because I do not enjoy doing activities with her, but because I just want to lie in bed and hibernate. I am sure that once we get there it will be fun. I bought food to take including a salad for me because I am eating healthy again, I will have to talk about that next post. Anyway, I just don’t want to do the three-hour round trip of driving after doing an out-of-state trip last week. I am not even sure that I will participate with her because we are taking another kid. But more than likely I will because it really is loads of fun. Right now, I can envision sitting in the lodge and just watching from the windows:)

This week has FLOWN by. We did not get to go ice skating, because today and yesterday were super cold days. A day that was a nice day, got wrecked because my kid’s bff got hurt in a ski accident and we went and played board games with her. So, the next month we are going to conquer all of the outdoor skating venues in D.C. area because I am wondering where did winter go? Spring is next month!

I am super stoked right now for a few reasons. For one, my daughter tried out for another muscial this week and got it! The director told her and call backs aren’t even until next week. Another thing, we are going to NYC in a month for a whole weekend to hang with my brother, the 21-year-old girl that I mentioned above, and for an acting thing for my daughter. Lastly, my friend gave me her Hulu password info tonight because I canceled Hulu and I get to watch Scandal because I missed it last night. I do not know if my heart can take it! Last week was INTENSE.

I hope that whatever you guys do with your weekend, it is what you want to do. At least after coming back from tubing, I get a free dinner from the girl’s parents for taking her kid tubing. So, score! Enjoy the weather whatever it may be, because remember, any time that we are live to see the sun rise and set is a good day!

Simply~

Dee

So, I came back on my trip from visiting a friend on Sunday and haven’t been blogging…

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It’s not that I haven’t blogged because I haven’t wanted to. I have literally been tied up since Friday. We stayed an extra night out-of-state over the weekend because my very sick friend has begun to be very depressed. I can’t blame her. To go from a 6 figure income to being unemployed, to being almost on her death-bed and then to be on disability. Wow, that was so much to type in one sentence. But imagine having to go through it. Good news came yesterday that she would be getting a lump sum of back pay from early retirement or something like that, and she can buy a car to take herself to the doctor or to the grocery store. I was so afraid to leave her Sunday morning, but I had to get back to my life and my animal and then on Monday-work.

So here I am on Tuesday, hanging at a local Starbucks, typing on here and doing my devotional. My kid is reading for her class so that we can finish Literature for the school year because she and I together have read and completed 99 percent of the lessons. We just finished reading Pollyanna before she went on to the next classic and I will have to say that it was a lovely story. I am going to have to go back and read some classics, and then read some for the first time that I never got around to. In addition to typing on here, reading my Bible, writing in my devotional, and exercising, I am going to read more and watch less of my weakness-Bravo.

Sunday, flew by on the 2 hour plus drive back to D.C., I had a meeting at church, we grabbed food to eat for Super Bowl night, we watched the game until the bitter end. Ughhhh. Seahawks really screwed up. And then, I can’t believe that this is already mid-afternoon on a Tuesday. I am still trying to determine if once one gets older if time flies, or if we just have more minutiae taking up our days, that this is the reason that days turn into weeks and months before we know it.

Though I love all of the seasons, and respect the reasoning and purpose for all of them, I was not happy to hear the cute and fat groundhog said 6 more weeks of winter were to come. For one, I am cold. All of the time. I am not cold-natured, but it has been a bitter type of cold this winter. Secondly, I am just sick of looking outside and it being too cold to be out in nature. At least if it is going to be cold, it would be nice to have snow to accompany it. This major winter that we were supposed to have in D.C. has been a disappointment because I want to see more of the white stuff. So, Saturday we are going to trek to PA to take in some snow tubing and though some of the snow may be “man-made”, there will be some of the real stuff there too.

I don’t have a meaningful message today. Not really. But I do want to say to whomever may not feel that they have hope or a lot to be happy about, that life is fleeting. It is a speck in time. Just appreciate and enjoy what you have. Whether it be your children, your spouse, your job, your tiny apartment, you are alive and are well off enough to have computer access and electricity to run it.

Simply~

Dee

Picture courtesy of fb/livinglife2thefull

It is so funny reading people’s Instagram and Facebook and even Twitter-bouncing from heaven to hell…

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I will admit that I am a Christian woman with a sometimes awful potty mouth. I do not claim to be perfect. But I also don’t have a meme or post praising Jesus one moment, and the next minute having one talking about going to a strip club. Some of the women that I know on social media (Very few) are such nasty talkers or just low class in their choice of words at times, but at other times they are quoting C.S. Lewis.

I know that we all have somewhat “schizo” personalities. Even people that are not diagnosed with a serious personality or mental disorder can change like the wind. As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I can go from one extreme to another with my feelings. But to be super holy one day and super sinful the next day is not having varying emotions. It is just plain crazy (IMHO). I keep talking about how I am trying to not judge, but is calling out people’s erratic behavior on social media judging, or just telling it like it is?

I have a friend/trend who gets on there with all of this kumbayah stuff and all of these posts about light and love and then she’s like-“Who is in for a Vegas girls trip?” Now we all not good and dang well that a Vegas trip spells nothing but trouble with a group of women who are either sex-starved or looking hungrily for a man. Believe me, these women are. I guess that I am saying that even though I have many sides to me (mom, daughter, friend, professional, seductress:), woman, child of God, hopeless romantic) I think that they are all pretty much in the middle. Maybe that’s not a good thing. Maybe I need to be a warrior for Christ and need to know every scripture. Maybe I need to be a serial-dater and have all of the men when my kid is away with friends. Perhaps I should work 60 hour weeks so that I could have more income. Okay, maybe the first one is okay to do:)

But seriously, are people super big time fakers on social media? Are they seeking attention? Are they wanting responses? I know that I write on here for responses sometimes. The same thing with Facebook or Instagram. Sometimes, we all just want to be heard and acknowledged. But I think that people need to be real with themselves and decide who they really are. Because we can not serve heaven and hell all at the same time. It is okay to have fun in life and to be human. No one is perfect except of course Jesus Christ. But no one will take us seriously if we are so extreme with our behavior that it makes no sense to not even ourselves.

Be true to you. Put things out there that you are proud of. If you are proud that you are going to a strip club, put it out there. If you are proud of your kid, let it be known. If you are a woman of God, show it. If you are the biggest heathen on earth, I don’t encourage that, but it is who you are. I think people can change and are fickle like me, but changing from a whore to a housewife five minutes between posts is not at all possible. Be real. Be you, If people do not like you for who you are, then that is their issue. I mean we all have things that we have to reel in, in order to not offend. I can’t tell people all of the time exactly what I would like to because it will hurt them. But I am certainly not being fake by using discernment.

I think that is the perfect word. Discernment. It is a word that many people this day and age do not even consider. Before we do anything, we need to always use good judgment and if it is something that is big or  important, I ask for God’s discernment because I am not all-knowing and certainly need all the help that I can get when it comes to making wise choices. I think that we all do.

Moral of story. Be you. Be authentic. Think  before you speak or post. Use wisdom. Ask for God’s help. Actually listen to what God, i.e., your intuition is telling you to do and do that.

Happy almost end of the work week! One more day for most, but I am off until Tuesday!!

Simply~

Dee