Category Archives: Blogging

So, today was great. My daughter made the best…

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My kiddo made the best flourless cake heart-shaped brownies. EVER. I ate 3 for breakfast.:) I feel like I deserve after 5 months of clean eating and very FEW cheats. Then we had an awesome time at church, great lunch with a giftcard at our fave eatery in our ‘hood. Then we went apple picking, found a charming bakery on the way back by accident and they let my daughter help them make bread! It was so impressive and kind and sweet. It was one of those classy small towns that you see in movies.

I just finished eating the rest of my lunch and another cake brownie and I am super tired, super happy and super surprised and humbled by all of the people that sent me gifts and texts and calls and posts regarding my birthday. As I have mentioned in other posts, I don’t feel like I have many friends sometimes, or a “crew”. The truth of the matter is, I have a heck of a lot of loved ones, but they come in the form of people that I would never expect, or that I rarely talk to or see, but they are there.

When I get to a ripe old age in around 50 years from now, I will be able to smile at birthdays past because I have been treated special. I always am, every year, and it is a subtle/needed reminder that I count and I am loved and I am worthy. I need to remember that all of the time without hearing it from 50 people. So as I put my tiara away until I celebrate again tomorrow night (:, I can rest knowing that I rule, at least for a week every year in September. If only we could see ourselves as God sees us. We would then see that we “rule” every day because we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made”.

Simply and Humbly~

Dee

So, have you ever heard the phrase: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away?

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I am a total sucker for the beauty of the Olde English language, but that statement is both powerful and reassuring and scary. When I was standing in front of the ocean yesterday, I started pondering life in a big way, as I often do when I go to the beach. The enormity and vastness of the sea always puts me in a spiritual and pensive mode. I wish I could be an air head just trying to catch some rays, but I always go deep-in thoughts, not the water.:)

Then for some reason I thought: The ocean restoreth and the ocean taketh away. It instantly reminded me of how powerful yet beautiful the ocean is and as much as I love it, I fear it. It is similar to the way I feel about God. I worship and uplift Him, but I fear Him all the same. It’s amazing that something so mesmerizing and calming could also sweep someone away to never be seen again. It made me realize how small I am in the vastness of the world. My little life and even smaller problems are like one grain of sand on one beach and there are thousands of beaches and infinite grains of sand.

I really as of late have thought about what I do have that I value and my life is small in comparison to what I view on other people’s “social media” lives or to their circle of acquaintances. But as much as I love my life and long for a “larger” life, I really like the uniqueness and “weeness” of my life experience. I enjoy the adventures with my daughter and seeing my mom 4 or 5 times a year for a week at a time. I enjoy talking to my mom daily on the phone and not to many other people. Though when it comes down to my birthday or holidays, I see and talk to quite a lot of people, my daily life as with many people has come to communicating pretty much through technology. No wonder so many people are so lonely. They have thousands of friends on social media and maybe 3 people they could actually call on.

Not tooting my own horn, but on my FB and IG, I have around 100 on each and I like it because I feel that the people there are people that care. Or I have a real connection with them and I could probably call on 25 or 30 of them in a time of need because they are more than just a number. Many are family and church members and childhood friends. Some are local people that I have known for a decade or a half a decade and I get together with them a few times a year.

My whole point in all of this is to say that having relationships that are meaningful really makes a difference. I do not win an award for the most followers on any of my networks, nor do I have a gaggle of cards in the mail for my birthday. But I do have a good number of people that think of me and celebrate me and love me and that is all I can ask for. Some of these people may not be what I would consider friends that I would want to be with all of the time because I do tend to attract a quirky bunch. But I am honestly glad that I have them and that they put up with me. Over the years people have been removed from life, I feel by God because I have prayed for people to leave my life that are a strain on me. But along the same vein, some of the people that I lost touch with have become some of my greatest friends/allies/family and I am so grateful to have those relationships are restored.

Things are taken and things are given and I think that if we respect the process and understand that some events happen for reasons that we will never understand that we can live our lives in peace. This is why I pray for peace and pray for goodness and pray for safety because just as there are angels watching over us ready to protect and save, there are other forces just as eager to have a hand in our undoing.

Man oh man I have become quite the serious one in my “not so old age”, but don’t worry, I am celebrating life enough over the next week that fun will balance all of this density out.:) Have a great rest of the weekend and a beautiful upcoming week. No matter if it is a day that you are celebrating or a milestone, or even a heartbreak, there is a lesson to be learned and the fact that you are here and alive and able to experience it is a miracle in itself. And if you have someone you love whom you have not reached out to lately, do it today. A few words or a kind gesture will mean more than you can imagine.

Simply~

Dee

So, I may turn a year older this week, but maybe not a year wiser???????

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I was in the grocery store with my daughter tonight, getting some things to take to the beach tomorrow. We will be back Saturday, but that day is full because she has a class, we are going to a polo match and were supposed to go apple picking. I brought up the fact that we were shopping and what would she need for my cake. She said: “Oh, we will get it later.” Then I got pissed and said: “Later? My bday is this weekend, I will just make my own cupcakes” (there is a mix we had at home that I have really wanted to make)

Then the convo went on and I went on to say that I go overboard for her party and then family day on her real bday every year and that I make a big deal about everyone and I get sick of her waiting ’til the last minute. I really do though. She is not the planner that I am most of the time. It ended in tears and she told me that I was so important to her. I think what pushed me over the edge in the earlier convo is when she said that didn’t have time to look for the recipe. After her school work today and our walk, she had 3 hours of “chill time”. She was watching a movie, while looking up recipes and diy projects.

But, when it comes to me, she doesn’t have time. I really made a big deal of it for the 3 or 4 minutes that we talked about it. But then I apologized when I thought about that she is a child, with other thoughts and no job and no chance to run to the store to get the ingredients. I told her that she meant the world to me and I didn’t mean to be a brat. I went on to say that adults can sometimes have tantrums and fits and act bratty. I owned it and told her that I never meant to hurt her.

Later, I told her that it was my issue with other people and that we could cut out a Saturday event so she would have time to bake. She is a very mature and dear person, and I honestly forget her age so much of the time. So, when she doesn’t act 15, I sometimes fly off of the handle. It’s stupid and immature and not very wise to do. But I am human and I screw up and take out things on my daughter or my mom. I have to remember that she is my child first and friend second. Just like my mother is my mom first and my friend 2nd.

The whole deal is that I obviously don’t feel loved or celebrated or special enough and I acted on that behavior in a childish way. I think the whole “girlfriend gang” that Taylor Swift has and one of my friend’s has a group of friends that are all unmarried with no kids, so they can travel everywhere. Then there’s me. I have a smattering of friends here and there. Most are tied down with kids. Getting through the week between schedules and activities is all that most of them are thinking of.

The moral of the story: My issues are just that. They are mine. I am going to make a wish on my bday cake or cupcake or whatever it ends up being that I will try even more than I already do to think before I speak. Words sting worse than a slap on the face and for longer, and can really do damage. I am not abusive or mean or degrading, but I think that all of us can ponder a bit longer before speaking. I have always had that issue-letting emotions rule over thinking.

On that note, I think I will try to get shut eye. Fiveish in the morning is wayyyyyyyy too early for a night owl like me. Good night, God Bless, and please don’t judge me too harshly for my bratty/divaesque/childish outburst tonight. I am a Virgo, we do have a flair for the drama…

(Side note: I’m blessed. I have a beautiful and talented daughter, a great relationship with my mom, jobs, a cute place, I live in one of the most awesome cities in the U.S. I don’t have “Sex and the City” besties, but I can’t have it all I guess!)

Simply~

Dee

courtesy of our name is blog

courtesy of our name is blog

So, I apologize to you all and to myself for not writing for so long…

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To be honest, we enjoyed the last almost 3 weeks of the pool, every single day. We went on walks and for ice cream and stayed up late watching movies and I read 3 novels in one week and I have caught up on my Real Simple. I love writing, I truly do, but I have been thinking and praying and figuring things out. My fabulous kid go cast in another major DC play, so that schedule starts next week to prepare for December shows. She started 3 more of her activities last week too, and we are doing home schooling again and exercising everyday, so there have been plenty of reasons why I have been incognito!

What have you all been up to? Did you enjoy the rest of the summer? Do you have a fab tan to boast about (like I do?)? Did you squeeze every last minute out of August that you could before succumbing to and getting into the swing of September?

For me, the late Labor Day really put us behind! My bday is soon, I am not financially prepared for the beach trip I wanted to take and all of the other things I want to do for it, so we are going for the day. It is 3 hours to the beach with DC traffic, but we are leaving at 530 am and hope to make the drive in just 2. I can’t wait for this weekend because I have 3 days of bday fun planned with my kid.

Last year, I went to different dinners and lunches with friends, but this year I am doing winery tours a few weeks after my bday. It feels kind of weird that I won’t be seeing friends this week, but next month it will be a celebration again. I chose that time because my kiddo will have an activity overnight then that will afford me the chance to do the limo ride with friends and go to dinner after and not have all the guilt.:)

I really do miss writing and I really miss reading some of your blogs. I have just had to work on a few things that were outside of the creative, for a few weeks. You know, get my household together. I got rid of some small swimsuits and have donated clothing that my kid will not be able to wear next summer. I am still going through clothes as we speak, to fit all of the new fall clothing in the closet that my mom sent.

Oh! I forgot to mention that I got my first record player that I have had in 2 decades! So super stoked. It is a bluetooth/cd/radio/record player. I had to pull out my old Thriller album from my childhood. I was shocked it did not have one scratch at all! Anyway, been rearranging our place, discarding things, organizing school stuff and now I am ready to “do me”-aka write and sing. I started back in choir last week too.

Many, many changes! Tell me what you all have been up to! I am blogging again. Yayyyyy! Happy, Happy Fall to all! I am getting back to basics. Insurance work, home schooling, activities and I love it all! Except work:)

Autumn-02-1024x682

So, it is a shame when I would rather work with pets or animals versus…

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I for the last 12 years have either worked with children or animals. I have been a nanny, home teacher, tutor, after school provider etc. I have also done pet sitting and dog walking. No matter how many degrees I have, I would rather work with these populations than working with adults. I mean of course animals are a cake walk outside of cleaning up their poop and kids have their challenges and tantrums. But I would rather deal with that than work with adults.

I feel that working with people in or near my age group is tricky. Either there is a competition because I am younger than they are, or we have nothing in common because they are younger and we are at different stages. Or, I just can’t relate to the people. I often enjoy working with men more than women and I hate to say that, but it is just so much easier.

I of course have had friends on jobs, but I don’t necessarily enjoy the company of these people. A lot of times it is a political thing. Be nice to your supervisor so that there is job security. Or be nice to your office mate so that they will have your back. Another one is be nice to everyone so that you won’t be the person to be gossiped about. But, then it is not wise to be too nice because people will take advantage and expect favors.

I am the entrepreneur kind of person who really does like people, but the group dynamics are not my favorite. It is reminiscent of middle school days when I was trying to find my place somewhere in between the super popular girls and the nerds. I had friends in both groups but did not quite fit anywhere.

I don’t know if it is because I spent 5 years working for myself or if kids are just cooler people. I really enjoy seeing their personalities develop and kids can be very funny and interesting. It also helps because I have a kid and I get paid to go places and do fun things with my kids and tow. But I have noticed when I have a day out with the kids that I have spent most of the time laughing and cutting up with them, but when I worked with “grown ups”, my days were not full of joy by any measure.

I know that my jobs are not professional or serious, but happiness is more important than that to me. My retirement is not where I want it to be, but I look and feel young because I do not have a stressful job. I am trying to pay my bills so that I can add more to my financial future instead of monthly balances, but even when I have made more money I have not been happy in jobs. It is probably because I have never really done what I loved until now.

Though I am still trying to find more work that is suited to my education and that can better support us, I will relish in the fun days that I am having now. I get to stay and watch my kid grow up, and play a part character development of other kids’. In the end, it is a win/win situation. When I look back 40 years from now, I can say that I have no regrets. I can honestly say that I really enjoyed raising my child and the work that I did. Not many people can say that…

So, what is it about theatre and tears, for me at least?

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My kiddo has been in productions since Christmas, and I have seen an additional one as of yesterday and every time-tears!!! All of the plays have been so different, one that was sad about immigrating to America, but had tons of funny moments. One classic Broadway play, then Hairspray, and the one I saw yesterday-“Into the Heights”.

I will have to admit that I wasn’t interested in the subject matter of “Into the Heights”. I am more into classical theatre or big dance numbers, not as into modern American drama. I am a traditionalist I guess you would say. I also have been sick for almost 2 weeks, and felt that I really needed to go to support a church member’s son who is a main character.

So, after the first 30 minutes, I wasn’t fully connected to the characters, but I liked it. Everyone could sing really well. Everyone could dance too, really well. About 15 minutes before the end of the 1st act, I connected with a scene. Then, I found myself crying. I am the same person that cries at Hallmark commercials. I can cry watching the Peanuts.

I am a very sensitive person, but I don’t show it a lot anymore because of past hurts. I really do have a soft heart and I am a super hopeless romantic. I think that the guy who finds me will have to be a special man, because I am a very tender and loving gal. But on the other hand, whomever finds me will have to be special themselves, because I am a lot to handle sometimes:).

Anyway, if you have not been to live theatre lately, I encourage you to support it. This show was at a pretty prestigious theatre, so tickets started at 30.00. But good acting does not always have to come at a hefty price. I have been to 15 dollar theatre that rivaled what I saw yesterday that was held at lesser venues. My whole point is, that these people are really offering a service. They are entertaining us in person and opening our hearts and minds in the process (hopefully) in a way that movies can’t quite do.

Now I am a real movie buff. But to be in the room with these characters, live and in person is amazing. It is magic actually. Someone up there on the stage, typically not paid, spilling out their raw emotions and we get to engage with them even if just through tears or applause. I am so glad to be a part of the acting world (through my kiddo) because we have met so many great people! They all have these things in common: They are intelligent, talented, individuals and they are passionate folks who work so hard at their craft. I feel that people on the local level give so much and sometimes feel so little recognition.

If you haven’t been in awhile, look around your community. Check out a play that will interest you. Skip movie night, just once and see it for yourself. You will bless many people in the process, including yourself.

Simply~

Dee