Category Archives: Blogging

So, life is a gift. Why don’t most of us treat it as such?

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So there is always tomorrow right? For many people that is not the case. There are no days left. There time to depart from earth has come, but I am sure that if they could communicate with those of us who are lucky enough to be alive, they would tell us to wake the hell up! (Pardon my French)

I am so guilty of saying that I am going to have a successful business doing this and that and I never fully reach the potential that I am so capable of. Call it lack of drive, lack of confidence or lack of ability, that would be fair to say. But in all honesty, like so many people I am a dreamer, planning out this better life for myself but waiting for the right time. Or, waiting until I am ready. Or whatever other excuse.

Though I am a doer when it comes to many things, I tend to not fully achieve my goals. I either eat perfectly clean and half-way workout, or workout 35 times in 4 weeks (I am doing that now), but screw up and eat movie popcorn and a candy bar (did that today). I don’t know if it that I am afraid to win or if I just feel like there is always time for whatever my goals are. Aren’t so many of us guilty of this? If you are an over achiever and all of your plans have come to fruition, stop reading this. No, really. Stop. Now.

I am thankful everyday to God that I have my daughter and my mom, and my cute place to live and I have an income. But I really don’t utilize all of the gifts that I have. I am such a good party planner. I am so good at coming up with business names and ideas and concepts for people. I am a decent writer. I am a great resume writer. I am good at managing projects.

But…I am doing those things to the level that I could. I am not starting that party planning business, but I am helping people with their parties and just spent close to 100 hours planning my daughter’s party that is up coming. I don’t write everyday as I said I would. And though I am an office manager, it is not fulfilling for me because I am helping someone else with their dream and their livelihood and not doing something that I am passionate about.

I don’t know how to turn those things around. I don’t know how to motivate myself because there is so much I want to accomplish. I guess I need to stick to the advice that I give to others and do one thing at a time. That has always been a problem for me. I have trouble focusing on one goal or one dream or one project. Am I the only one?

So, this was supposed to be about how life is a gift and that we do not need to take it for granted. See, the whole inability to focus thing going on again:). But I hope that someone can relate to this post. I also hope that this will inspire me (and others) to work on at least something that can be done immediately. So, I will get back to the clean eating while working my butt off to get fit with my round 2 of 21 Day Fix! I will also write more. No, REALLY. I will.

Thanks for bearing with me as I share my innermost thoughts and feelings. Even if I ramble and don’t write daily, and if what I say sometimes makes no sense, I hope that something that I have to say will resonate with someone. Remember that life is too short to not live every day to the fullest.

I am ever so grateful for my life and so blessed to have made it to tell about another day.Good night!

Simply~

Dee

“Be grateful for the gift of life on earth. Not all who saw yesterday were lucky enough to see today.”
― Edmond Mbiaka

So, will beautifying the outside make a difference with a wonky inside?

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I am the weird, strange and odd kind of person that thinks deeply in situations that there is no obvious depth. A local grocery store that is one of the top in the nation decided to throw out all of their old front racks (for magazines, dvds and other wares) and use a deep and dark-colored wood to give the store an even more sophisticated look. And I suddenly thought, okay-the store looks better, but does this really improve the store? The store has more swanky touches, but how nice is the management? Does the company treat the employees the way that it once did when the owner of the store was alive?

See, a super mundane thing like shelf replacement makes me think about beauty on the inside versus the outside. I told you I’m weird. But really, are the ultra difficult workouts I am doing twice a day making me a better person? Stronger, maybe. More fit, I hope. A better shape to my body-here’s hoping.:) But if I did not work on myself spiritually, does any of that other stuff matter?

Well, in the world we live in today, it seems so. I don’t want to be one of those writing about the famous K family. But, if they didn’t have banging bodies and pretty faces, would people hate/love them in the way that they do? Though the question is purely rhetorical, I think you know the answer. NO! They look so awesome on the outside, but what goes on internally with some of them is really screwed up.

I can’t lie, I would love to have Kendall’s model figure and look great in everything. I would also like to not watch every bite that goes into my mouth and workout all of the time. But, genetics have a funny way of giving us the good, bad and the ugly stuff. I am attractive, but will never be modelesque. I am petite in height, and wear myself out measuring food and working out and drinking water to see minimal pounds lost.

The point is, I work so hard on the outside, but if I was a complete a-hole to people then I would not have people want to be around me. People wouldn’t want to celebrate my bday with me, or go see my daughter perform, or invite me to things. I am glad that I am good on the inside and that I do not act as though the world revolves around me. I pray and I am humble and I try to treat every one with kindness, until they piss me off.:)

So, as I sculpt my body with my 21 Day Fix deal and lift my weights and measure my portions, I will continue to ensure that what lies within rivals the beauty on the outside. For if the inside is ugly and tainted, then the outside, no matter how fit or gorgeous will just not be as beautiful.

I wish that more people could have this revelation or be convicted of this because looks do fade. It is a sad, sad circumstance for those that have lived their life letting their looks lead their way because once youth fades,the no one cares anymore. Then they are forced to have relationships based on their heart and mind.

Well, at least I have my heart and mind right. Just waiting for my body to be as fabulous! I will keep on trying one workout at a time. One pound at a time and one measurement at a time! Wish me luck!!

Simply~

Dee

So, I didn’t stick to my word…

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Okay, I know that I say that writing for the sake of writing is fab. But I for a while have not been able to write as much to read. Or to write as much as think. Or to write as much as pray. Or to write as much as to worry.

I have been going through some “personal revelations” as of late. I have decided to step out on faith and to become a beach body coach. What that means is that I will be a consultant for people who want to get healthier, or lose weight or tone up or train for something.

I may not be the poster child of #21dayfix but after losing 8 pounds in almost 3 weeks and realizing that I can work out with fit people and make it happen! I have lost inches, and though I have around 45 pounds to go, I think that I could help people like me.

I also have decided to really make more time for things and people who are important. Church, friends that are tried and true, workouts (as I mentioned before) just to name a few things. I had a birthday recently and then tends to be a time for me of deep thought and self-examination.

Also, something about fall makes me think of new beginnings. I know that is weird because most people think of spring and renewal. And I do too because of sprouting flowers and Easter (resurrection). But as a kid, the excitement and fear and happiness and worry upon the beginning of the school year is a time I will never forget. That is why I equate September with newness.

I am back to writing again. I have done a lot of reading. I have decided what I am going to do as another job (Beachbody). I have started singing in the choir again. My kid’s activities are in full swing. Something about the summer that makes me want to meditate and chill and not commit and how the fall helps me to get motivated.

So, we all find ourselves the week of Halloween and Christmas is less than 2 months away and then the contemplation of the New Year will lie ahead. But this time if you all bear with me I will write about it instead of withdraw for a couple of months. Several times I would start a draft on WP and just stop short.

But I am back out in the world again and ready to share and ready to read all of the fabulous things that you have to say as well. Happy hump day and happy fall y’all:)

~Simply

Dee

P.S. Are any of you guys dressing up this year for Halloween? Or, are do you guys celebrate?

So, I figured out that technology definitely doesn’t make the kid smarter…or anyone

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My kid is super smart. Most of her friends are smart. People with like minds tend to hang around one another. But why is it that with all of their smarts and all of this technology, they can just act so stupid at times?

Some of her friends literally don’t know how to load the dishwasher and they ask the meaning of things that I thought they should know in 1st grade. My daughter can’t get the simplest of ideas down like 3 to the 5th power (she always wants to multiply 3 and 5) yet she can do coding and Morse Code. I think that they don’t have much common sense nowadays, and I may not be an ivy league scholar like my brother, but I am smart both in common knowledge and book knowledge.

These kids have fancy calculators and fabulous tablets and laptops but when it comes down to it, 3 to the 5th power is still just that. There is no flashy way for them to answer that on a test. They still have to write it all by hand. As much as I love to type on here, and watch shows on my iPad and use my phone as a mini-pc, I like some of the old-fashioned ways of doing things. They aren’t even teaching them cursive in school anymore! So I guess their signature will be easy to forge if they can only print!

I still love receiving hand written thank you notes and writing them. I still love the feel of a book in my hand. I still love long conversations on the phone, catching up about so many things that cannot be said or understood properly in an email.  I love being able to blog on here, and correct things and edit with a touch of a button, don’t get me wrong. But as advanced as we get, there are so many ways that we can improve and getting back to basics is a good way to do that.

Take time out of today, or one day soon and write out your to-do-list. Read a book that is not on your device. Phone someone. Go for a walk and listen to the birds and the traffic and not your playlist.

Simply~

Dee

So, sometimes writing for writing’s sake is enough…

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Sometimes I don’t want to blog. I want to, but I feel that I have nothing significant to share, or the post may not be insightful to someone or it may not touch someone. Sometimes I read a blog later and think: Wow, that was some good writing and other times I wonder why I had the nerve to put that out there so that others could read it because it was mere drivel.

But what I have realized as someone has been writing in journals and diaries and notebooks since 4th grade that just plain old writing on a regular basis, just to get words down and out of my mind is what is important. It’s almost like I am Dumbledore and I need to release the information so that I can clear my brain and make room for more thoughts. Or, that the more that I get in the habit of writing, the more that it will become more of my daily life and the better my writing will get.

I have always wanted to write in some capacity. Be it as part of a job description an online magazine, back in the day for a newspaper, or even technical writing. The fact that I can write well is the reason that I made A’s in my Master’s program. Sometimes, I would be behind on my reading, but could still find a way to bs my way through an assignment because I could put pen to paper with no issue.

But, I haven’t truly pursued my dream as I had hoped to before becoming a mom. At one time, I was all about getting a poetry book published and still remember the name. I still have the children’s book in my head and wish I would have jumped on it back in 2006 because it would have really been relevant then and could still work now.

So, even though I have put those things on a very long back burner, blogging and even writing privately in my comfy chair into a writing prompt book is still writing. Hopefully, I will get the courage and make the time to try again to be published as I did in the early 2000’s. But until then, I will be thankful for the gift of WordPress and for the blessing of having people read my good, mediocre and even sometimes not blog worthy writing.

Have a good night and keep on writing!

Simply~

Dee

So, home schooling is a challenge, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world…

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Many people have opinions about home schooling that are less than, hmmmm, kind. My answer: It is none of their freaking business. I know my kid best. There are so many reasons that people do it nowadays, and again-it’s none of their freaking business. I sent my kid to a Christian school for kindergarten and she was chastised the whole year by her teacher. I didn’t learn how much so until after it was over, and I still hear about it years later.

My daughter’s problem, or actually it is not a problem, she is very intelligent. Not just book smarts either. She has “street smarts” or “common sense” to balance her smarts. She is good at cooking and building things and art and science, one of those people who is equally left and right-brained.  Some teachers do not value kids that are grade levels ahead, it is too much of a challenge. Since the private school would not work with her need for more work and public schools don’t offer many options, we did an online public school.

This way, she has standardized tests on file, school records that show what her grades are, etc. Basically, for me the structure and accountability are huge factors for why we home school this way. Some home school families even look down on us because they say: “Well if you are not sending your child to public school then why are you doing online public school?” Again, because of the aforementioned reasons. I also like the teacher support, online clubs and classes and field trips.

I am talking about all of this to say that we have one life to live and it is ours. We have our families, our reasons for doing things, choices and paths we have taken, and different ways of viewing things. For me, home schooling allows me to be in control of what she focuses on while doing the necessary work, in a stable and solid learning environment. I can brush over the basic ideals about Greek Gods, but will not waste a month on it. On the other hand, we can spend much more time on American History and do local field trips since D.C. is footsteps away.

I just wish that people would “do them”, and not feel that their way is the only way. I mean when it comes to “Do unto others” or other God’s commandments, of course we should do things God’s way. But when it comes to the way that we live our lives that in no way affects or hurts others, people need to basically keep their mouths shut. I don’t judge those who don’t home school and are wealthy stay at  home moms (I know many), so I don’t need to hear one more convo about how she needs to be around kids her age.

She acts, she sings, she dances, she takes art classes, she is in scouting, she bowls, she plays an instrument. I think she’s good. And, when she goes into the workplace, it is highly unlikely she will work in an environment where everyone that she works with and deals with is 22 years old. So, having friends of all ages and all walks of life is actually very valuable. I guess this post today is half explaining why we home school, half defending it, and complaining about those that have something to say about it.

I will step off of my soapbox now, and get back to my daughter’s Language Arts class. We just took a late lunch break and watched an American Girl craft video, one of the many reasons that I would not trade working from home and teaching from home. We go at our own pace and enjoy each other. Though there are good days and bad days with home learning, seeing my daughter learn in the way that she does best and spending the day with her is worth it all.

I hope that you all have a beautiful day and enjoy the life that you are blessed with in the way that makes you happy.

Simply~

Dee

So, all of my fave tv shows came back on this week…

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But, I can’t get my journal from 12 years ago out of my head. Last night my daughter had a friend over, and we were doing karaoke and I was reading some of my poetry to them, and they were performing. Super fun. But I found a journal with my poems and I realized that 11/12 years ago, I was hoping and wishing for the same things.

I wanted to lose weight, I wanted a good man, I wanted a good paying job. My question is, why am I still struggling with them same things? Is it me? Do I not feel worthy, so it spills forward to all areas of my life, so old issues are still underlying?

I have obviously have been married and separated since then, I have a kid and have moved to another state and have made some all around cool and life changing moves in my life. But those big 3: weight, man and money are still a problem. I know that everyone has a cross to bear, but am I supposed to have 3?

I work so hard on my weight, but because of thyroid problems and another medical issue, I feel like a hamster on a wheel with it. Also, I have left a guy that was not true to the marriage, so that is understandable, but still-man issues. I have still not had a fabulous job, and most of it is because I have worked from home for the last decade plus so I could be with my kid. But I have tried to make money and start businesses and I still feel financially stagnant.

I wonder if I am my own worst enemy. I feel like I am self-sabotaging and do not know how to feel better about myself, or to trust that I am as good as others say that I am. My confidence is a lot better than it was in the past.

I have been on dates over the last year, and never went on a second date because I can’t and won’t settle so that is great. I workout regularly and do clean eating 99.9 percent of the time, so I am making strides there, or at least trying. The job thing is one of the biggest problems I have. I am educated enough, but lack work experience, or just don’t feel I can completely measure up to do so many of the jobs I apply for. So, maybe I need to work on that the most.

As I watched shows tonight, I really enjoyed them, but couldn’t get my story out of my head. I feel that I have come so far in many ways, and I have a colorful and fun life in so many ways. But other ways, I feel like the younger woman from 12 years ago who was trying to choose between Chicago, DC or NYC and proclaiming that I would have a love soon, and a new address. That happened, but not in the way I would wish.

I am writing my story still, as we all are, but I am trying to figure out how to make sure the chapters include events that lift me up and allow me to live the life I have always dreamt of. I am going to start journaling again and claiming to God and praying that there can be a real change in my life that will not only benefit myself, but my daughter as well.

They say prayer works, so we’ll see! I plan to not only take time to weigh my food and workout-that’s on lock. But I want to seek God in all that I do because apparently after years and years of doing the same thing, I am not doing a good job of handling things myself. One thing that I can say in my life that has surpassed my dreams, is the gift of my child. I would gladly go through all of the drama in my life to have her.

In the end, I feel blessed. I know I have it better than many. I just want to live my life in the way I envisioned, and since my dreams are not super grandiose, I don’t think that is too much to ask.

God Bless you all and Good Night!!

~Simply,

Dee