So, sometimes I do a Wednesday’s Wit, Wisdom, Wondering. This post today is all about wondering. Why are people afraid/offended/in denial about the truth?
For many people nowadays, it seems being blissfully ignorant is the theme of the times. If someone is too straightforward and just lays it out there then they are considered the enemy, not the offending party, but the messenger of the information. Hearing the truth or someone who is “too” honest about things for some people means the conveyor of said truth is:
Yankee (southerners perspective, haha)
But what about the many sayings about truth?
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
Facts do not cease to exist. because they are ignored.
Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world…would do this, it would change the earth.
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
Flannery O’Connor (fellow Ga gal)
A lot of things have come up in my life in the last couple of months regarding being straight up honest or blunt with folks. This happened surrounding my mom’s health and well being. Some of it was because speaking/acknowledging the real deal and taking action is what literally saved my mom’s life and I am not saying this for dramatic effect. Trust me. And some of my honesty revealed was because of situations that loved ones or their families were going through that were dire.
My intent and I am sure the purveyors of a lot of other truth sayers is not intended to hurt people. It is because the people we are saying it to/for is to help and bring awareness, at least that is my reasoning. Of course there are always people who have ill intent but we aren’t speaking of the bad apples today. Sometimes I am annoyed that people don’t notice what I perceive to be the obvious, but I am an extremely perceptive person. It has its ups and downs.😊
I know that the ones hearing these unwelcome truths sometimes don’t want to face the pain or see a situation for what it really is. Because let’s face it, it can be really uncomfortable. Sometimes they are just thick headed or delusional but for others it is just more pleasant to pretend everything is copacetic. Because turning that frown upside down cures all. Right?
I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me.
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
Winston S. Churchill
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.Joe Klaas
I can’t stand people’s aversion or refusal to know the truth. I am not hardcore or uncaring, I am actually the opposite. I know it can be scary. I am awaiting a prognosis for my kom Wednesday and I would rather be doing almost anything else! But in the midst of the empath inside me and the emotional being that I am, is a realist and pragmatic soul. These things do not normally align. A hugger and crier who can also be curt and brutally honest is a hard match, but that is me. In all things or most 🤗, I do with love. Or for the betterment of someone. I tell white lies. We all do! For ex., “Becky, that dress definitely doesn’t make you look fat”. But I can’t keep something in that could benefit other people or save them.
I definitely work on my delivery so I don’t hurt people that I am only trying to give aid to. I never want to alienate someone or have them retreat because they can’t really face the music. Kindness goes a long way. I am only harsh when it is absolutely necessary like my telling the hospital staff that my stepfather was negligent and emotionally abusive. People didn’t want to hear it, but it had to be said. And they acted like I had three heads and I was the monster because in the south, keeping things inside is the polite thing to do.
So, if you too are what is perceived to be as overly pragmatic or too opinionated, or too much of a straight shooter like I, try these tactics.
1. Think before you speak, seriously.
2. Share your opinion only if necessary.
3. If people want advice, warn them that there will be no candy coating.
4. Pick your battles, for real.
5. Realize whether people need to be heard or need to be helped.
6. Treat the person the way you would like to be treated no matter how you feel about the situation. The Golden Rule rules!
So, if you are a fixer, a people helper or just around situations that require a lot of care, don’t run from the truth. But don’t run others away with it either, unless you just want to get rid of them:).