Monthly Archives: June 2015

So, today was a roller coaster kind of day. But all is well…

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We started the day early so we could catch another round of the DC Shields playing FDNY at George Mason University after getting an oil change. Well, the oil change turned into 450 dollars! I so did not have the money, so I got the oil change and tire patched and new wiper blades and went to the game anyway and cheered as if I was not stressed about dollars yet once again! Good news is that DC beat NY and we had fun. So I go home and texted a friend to see if I could borrow her car to take 3 of the kids I sit for and my daughter to an amusement park tomorrow. She wasn’t into it. So, I felt really bad about it but had to email the 2 families while they were at work today to tell them my dilemma. I knew they wouldn’t be mad because a tie rod issue is so very important and my car could have really been in an accident if I had not had it checked out.

So, I came home and slept because I was so upset about letting people down who had spent over 40 dollars per ticket and trying to figure out how to come up with 336 extra dollars. One of the mom’s was nice enough to offer her car, or to pay for half of a rental. I thought that it was sweet. But then I still had the issue of not being able to fix my car. So, I realized I had 70 dollars credit left on one car credit card and 70 dollars on another card. I had money in the bank, but I was afraid to spend it all because I don’t like to have empty pockets when driving 150 miles round-trip. Long story short, my friend let me borrow the 170 until I get one of my 3 checks at the end of the week.

The moral to this long drawn out story is, I never gave up. I knew it would work out. Even though I slept it off for a couple of hours, I did not panic or cry. I went to the second basketball game and watched DC Shields beat the DC Snipers. I took my friend to Starbucks and then I went and printed my tix for amusement park. I got my car fixed, not only because I put good out there and so good comes to me (most of the time), but because somewhere deep inside I know that God will take care of me. I do not have the big house, or a husband taking care of me but I always squeak by. I am not going to lie, I am sick of barely making it financially. but God always provides. Whether a friend comes along to help me or I get to work extra hours I make it somehow. I can owe that to God. Every. Single Time.

So, all in all today was good. My car is good as new. Kind of.:) I have packed all of our snacks and made our lunches and am preparing breakfast so it can be heated up in the morning. All is well! Now on to making more money. I am going to keep plugging away with this faith thing and I know that greater days are ahead!

Night and hope that you have faith in bad times, not only when times are grand.

Simply~

Dee

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So, we have spent 2 entire days watching the 2015 Fairfax World Police and Fire Games

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I will have to say that the games are quite phenomenal. Granted, we only went to opening ceremony and the rest of our time has been dedicated to basketball, but it has been impressive. Greece and Israel play straight up street basketball. I would never want to make those police officers angry if in their country. They are scrappy to say the least. Australia is an awesome and beautiful place, but basketball is not their sport. The 2 games we saw, they lost by at least 50 points. And Greece, they are very good actors when it comes to playing ball. They fake get hit or tripped to force the other team to get a foul. They play dirty ball. Hong Kong is surprisingly good! This has been such a fun experience going to all of these games for free! It’s like the olympics are in town and it is not breaking the bank. There are over 50 sports, so after b-ball finals on Tuesday, I will be reporting on the next sport I am obsessed with until the games end on July 4th.

And lastly, I am so proud of my DC shields team. They are really on point and holding their own. It has been 20 years since I have been this into basketball. But it is fun seeing people in your community that are protectors, show their stamina and power against other powerful protectors. There is a sense of pride too that comes with knowing that the police in our area are not only good at their jobs, but talented in other areas as well. DC police have 2 more basketball games tomorrow, and after my car checkup, we will be right their cheering. There are a lot of people we know that are not interested in these games and I don’t get it. There is so much value in going to not only community events, but multi-cultural and worldly events because there is always something valuable to learn.

Well, enough of sports talk, which is not usually a part of my repertoire. So, I am more all over the place than usual.:)

Good night

Simply~

Dee

How do you feel about SCOTUS decision about gay marriage?

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For me, it is simple. I don’t have anything against gay people. Yes, I am Christian, but who am I to judge? I have a gay family member, I have a friend who is gay. It is all good. I am just worried about the fact that life long appointed judges can force state governments to do what they deem correct. So, should people focus on their own needs and desires, i.e, gay rights versus our government taking over constitutional rights while our eyes are closed because of distractions? Maybe after the smoke and dust have cleared, people will realize that the US government is beginning to mirror actions of governments that many have considered not so scrupulous.

Good night~

Simply Dee

So, night time is quite rough for me, but the day and sunshine can make all of the difference

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When I am alone at night and it is so quiet, I seem to get bothered with everything. It’s like the weight of the world is standing on my chest at night. I feel alone and pathetic and troubled. Not that I don’t have my issues, but life is quite good. Though it is so cliche’, all is right with my world when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. I am jovial and positive and I feel good about myself.

I understand now why in movies there is the dark figure that is evil and the bright figure that is good and pure. As Olivia Pope says: Wearing the White Hat. Not that when one feels down they don’t wear the white hat, but when I feel down and low, I think down and low. Everyone aggravates me. Nothing goes right. I find that this is generally the case when I have too much time alone, or when I am sitting and pondering the world, my world, when many people are fast asleep.

So, right now I have a good outlook. I feel accomplished today. We bought a lot of supplies for my daughter’s party in November. I know, a long time away but if I explained all we had to make then it would make sense. I filled my car with gas. I had a 30-minute conference call for work. I took my daughter and a kid I care for to pottery. I dropped that kid off and picked up a child for another family I keep and now the kids are playing. I am planning dinner, going to turn on Netflix. Today was productive! and try later on to not get the darkness envelop my being and torment me. But instead use my sunny day thinking and get some good old-fashioned rest. (Here’s hoping!)

My biggest challenge is to try later on to not let all of the darkness envelop my being and torment me. But instead, use my sunny day thinking and get some good old-fashioned rest. (Here’s hoping!) Hopefully whatever you have on your mind or to-do list, you can turn it off when you lie down tonight. I am beginning to think that this whole sleepus interruptus thing is a culprit in my weight not budging!

Simply~

Dee

So, does it feel like everyone is moving forward in their lives while you aren’t evolving one bit??

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For me it does, a lot lately. With all of this down-time this month, I have had a lot of time to think. And sometimes, too much thinking time is not a good thing. At least not for me!

I had a conversation with  my daughter today and she was saying how she was tired of wearing dresses and skorts all of the time and it was time to change her style. I felt instantly like my little girl is growing up so much. I mean we were around a girl 2.5 years older than her all day, so I am sure that her style had something to do with my daughter’s sudden change in style after choosing to wear a dress yesterday. But then I thought about how hard I have struggled with my weight and after 20 lb loss it is not moving. To be honest, over the years I have never been able to get far beyond those 20 lbs. I know I have thyroid problems, but 20 pounds when there is 40 to 45 more to go, is just a drop in the bucket.

But then I thought about how hard I have struggled with my weight and after 20 lb loss it is not moving. To be honest, over the years I have never been able to get far beyond those 20 lbs. I know I have thyroid problems, but 20 pounds when there is 40 to 45 more to go, is just a drop in the bucket. It gets a little frustrating when I even let my bff coffee go just to get healthy and eat clean and still nada!

Then I started thinking about our cute little place is and how I would love a bigger place and the fact that I have now been here over a decade. How, I still can’t afford a home and that the jobs I keep applying for do not happen for me. Then I realized in less that 10 years my kid will be ready for college and I have a very small life without her. I am not really complaining, because most of my friends are in the same stage of life that I am and child-rearing is #1. But many of them have spouses to cling to as the little birdies begin to fly away. I only have one birdie, and I am beginning to feel like I am stagnant and later may be alone. But I do not want to date. I want God to bring someone into my life because I suck at choosing. But wondering when/if that is in the cards is another thing I am curious/anxious about.

I am saying all of this because I took 2 part-time gigs hauling kids around for the same families I worked for 2 summers ago. Even with all of my degrees, I am not too proud to make money in ways that may not fit my education. So as I was listening to the kids chatter today as we did different activities, I realized that I am still doing the same kind of work, living in the same place, holding on to the same weight and everyone is evolving. Kids I cared for 2 summers ago are now going into the last years of middle school. My kid is not early elementary anymore, so it seems a bit strange still caring for kids than it did when she was 3 or 4 or even 2 years ago.

I’m not complaining, I am just ready for my abundance. For positive changes to come into my life in the form of a better body because I work so hard now, and watch every bite and get my workouts in and it is a snail’s pace. I want a good job. I want to feel that I am growing and prospering as a person. I also would love to grow and prosper as a Christian. A kind friend on here said that perhaps I am stuck in a stage and I will eventually pull through but I have to learn things from that stage. I am tired of learning and treading water and doing nothing phenomenal or outstanding.

I can give myself a gold star for parenting 95 percent of the time, but beyond that, who am I? What am I? I can’t believe at this age I am still confused and not where I want to be. But I can say one thing for certain, if I wasn’t a mom to this wonderful girl, I would not be half of the person I am today. She is the best blessing I have had in my life thus far. I don’t know if there is a blessing that can outweigh the love and happiness I have being her mom.

But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to evolve. To be better. To make more money. To not be so stressed. I am crossing my fingers, eyes, toes and ankles that my time will come soon. Then I won’t only have a fab daughter, but a fab rest of my life to go along with her.

Simply~

Dee

Image courtesy of lilpickmeup.com

So, my television viewing is just as eclectic as my writing…

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You guys know by now that when I write, I am all over the place. That is because I have a million things on my mind all of the time and I want to say or do all of them at once. I was looking through Hulu tonight on our Wii because we divorced cable a couple of months ago. Hulu has improved so much!! They had Green Acres, I Love Lucy, A Different World, The Brady Bunch and then I found all of the Real Housewives shows. That is my real guilty pleasure when I don’t want to think of anything:).

I started Green Acres from episode 1 because growing up in the 70’s and 80’s and watching the reruns, it is not like I could watch them in order. Hulu used to suck big time!  They used to have oodles of obscure Asian titles, not there is anything wrong with that, but I am not Asian so they were not titles I was interested or familiar with. And no, I don’t have a problem with Asian shows or people. Had to say it because some people read more into things than necessary. Anyway…they have shows with the complete series available. They still have some shows where they have 8 episodes that are the more current ones, but now I can watch so many shows that I got to watch as a kid. And, in a few days they will have all of the Seinfeld episodes in the way that Netflix closed the deal with the Friends Franchise.

So, in addition to reading the Bible more and the entire stack of books beside my bed, I think I will be delving into Hulu this summer if it can keep a connection! My list to watch from beginning: Green Acres, The Brady Bunch, West Wing, Seinfeld (even though I have most of them and have seen them all), House of Cards, Parenthood and the Blacklist. I have seen a lot of House of Cards and the Blacklist and some of Parenthood on Netflix, which I have always used more than Hulu. But Netflix better up their game because there is competition. Amazon Instant Video is improving too. It sucks for Netflix that they came up with whole idea and other companies are pulling the rug out from under them so to speak.

Okay, this is my PSA tonight. Get rid of cable. There are too many good things to watch on these streaming services and saving money is one side effect and the most important one is sharing fond memories of days past with those you love…

Simply~

Dee

So, this may sound super silly, but I was blessed in fruit and veggies this morning

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So, I can’t find my bank card and I am maxed on my CC’s. So I had no money to buy my kale or blueberries this morning. It may sound silly, but on this clean eating plan I am on, I have to eat a lot and specific kinds of foods at certain times. I get to church and at our coffee hour, there was more fruit than I have ever seen. Like seriously! A huge fruit tray and there were maybe 50 people there. And there were lots of veggies too.

Since I have been on this eating plan, I eat Kale with every meal. I saute it on the stove with red pepper flakes and salt/pepper and it is a mainstay here. So the next thing I know, a church member walks straight to me with a big plastic container filled with kale from our community garden and a some zucchini. I said, can I have the kale. She said, sure! I waited until everyone was pretty much gone to get one of the zukes, but I could not believe that simple things that I wanted and needed in the form of fruit and veggies were made available to me and the exact food I needed.

I know that this may sound silly or simplistic. But all I could think was, wow! God provided me with these small seemingly insignificant things and that if he listens or blesses me with those, then the job I want/need can be available to me. If I trust in God, my options and opportunities are endless. It was maybe a coincidence that the food was there, or the 25 dollar check that came in the mail happened to come on a day when I overextended myself in the bank.

But, God always seems to provide for me in some way or in some form. And I can’t believe I am saying this, but things seem to work themselves out. My biggest cross to bear has been not having enough work, i.e. financial woes. But I also have not applied as much as I should have. So this is a case where I decided that I could not only trust God, but I also have to take more action. I have mentioned this before, but there is a fine line between faith/trust/effort. But I am trying to work to find that delicate balance where I give more to God to handle while being sure that I am doing my part. That takes care of trust and effort.

The faith part is the hardest. It is not the same as trust. It is knowing without a doubt that everything will be absolutely positively okay. I guess that faith today helped me make it through the daughter/daddy playdate that I was worried about, and knew that God would make a way for me to get what I needed in the presents of produce. This may be a very wacky post, but I couldn’t lie my head down tonight without sharing the glory of God and that with HIM all things large and small are possible.

Night~

Dee