Tag Archives: Church

So, I have a major desire to write and do other worthwhile things, so why am I not doing them?

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SO, I do not know about you all, but I let things hold me back. I do work a lot, I run around somewhere all of the time and am constantly doing stuff for my hs senior, or spending time with her or BG or my cat. So it is easy for me to not make time for writing. Or exercise or church. I am sure you all can relate, today’s society, but particularly in America, and definitely on the East Coast is rush, rush, rush. So there is a bit of keeping up with what everyone around us is doing and the need to do it all, and quick! But in all honesty, I am avoiding the important things, and I think there is one common theme interwoven between them. Lack of true motivation, due to an underlying cause, pain and fear.

I am afraid to delve deep into what is hurting me so that keeps me from writing. Letting everything out will be like a waterfall and I just do not know if I am ready. And I also kind of have this fear of failure. Like what if I get my hopes up and nothing comes of my dream? What if I am fooling myself? What if this is not my intended path? It happened for so-and-so, but they are lucky, I never get a break, etc. I am a bit of a worrier sometimes and less of a risk taker, more than I would like to admit. Most people would say, how hard could it be to type out thoughts. It really is not when someone puts it like that, but there is an emotional aspect that constantly holds me back and I am trying hard to push through it. Self doubt and the lack of desire to deal with all of my feelings has been crippling my talent and withholding my gifts. I will not let this happen anymore. It is dumb and ridiculous and will make me live with regret if I do not just try. So, I am trying. I am typing now. I am reading more. I am carrying a notebook. So that counts for something! I am going to be one of those disciplined writers that other people aspire to be like, I just know it!:)

Church, wow. A place I spent a lot of time at from 2004 to 2016. My kiddo grew up going practically every Sunday. But then we met BG (Best Guy) and started going to visit him, or he would be here on Sunday, leaving only a few hours after church and was only here about 6 days a month, so church kind of fell by the wayside. And truthfully, I was tired of going there. I adore the pastor and still have a friend there that I care for, a lot. But the average age of members is 25 to 30 years older than me, so there was definitely no one there for my kiddo. And also, my mom died. When she would come to town, we went there every holiday together, and on regular Sundays too. It is hard for me to step back in there because of that. Dec 2019, my mom started going downhill and the last time we went to church there was that Christmas. Walking through there will be a flood of memories and people asking about her. I am not ready. But I feel that I have an obligation to go to church somewhere because I do not want my kid to lose her way with God, so I am going to find a place to visit. Soon! I have been searching for a while. Cannot wait to find a good fit for our family and to hopefully meet some great new people to be a part of our family friend group.

Working out. Hmmmm. I do not know what my deal is with this. About 6 years ago, I was in the best shape of my adulthood. I was walking about 40 miles a week, doing HIIT, eating clean and feeling great. I still was 40 lbs from my goal weight though. And no matter what I did, I could not lose more. Then early 2019 I hurt my ankle and found out there is a tear. It has held me back a lot. I do not know if my lack of exercise is due to fear of hurting myself more, or if I have just become lazy. But now, I am about 70 lbs from my goal weight, and tired and pretty out of shape at this point. I cannot even stick to a meal plan, though I do try. And I used to be so good. But part of the lack of effort is I think I have been in a 2 year depression. There is also frustration with my endocrine issues. I can go 100 percent, 7 days a week with few cheats, and barely lose what I should be losing. Between grief, injury, no thyroid and PCOS, I have been not into workouts regularly. But, I am excited, one of my clients is giving me a practically new exercise bike and delivering it. So I can put that in my room and I am sure it will be easier to motivate myself. That is a blessing that I will take advantage of!

God is good, he knows what I need and is providing those things without me even working hard to get them, and all in the last month!

BG bought me a new laptop for writing

A woman I met at a play, invited me to her church

I am getting handed an exercise machine that is not in my budget

If those are not signs, I do know what else to call them! What things do you struggle with? What is holding you back from doing them? Are you an excuse maker like I am? Have you delved into the WHY? I would love to hear from you all! Hit the subscribe button, and also email me- dee@simplydeeindc.com . I will be looking for your questions, suggestions and comments. We are all in this together! Share away!

~simply

Dee

So, I skipped church this morning and slept in and sleep is not so bad…and neither is change

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In case I haven’t told you before, I suck at sleeping. I really do. I stay up and think and worry and plan and think some more. My body was overdue for rest, but I hate that I missed church in order to catch up. I ended up going to 2 church functions later, so I felt a bit redeemed for my slumber faux pas. Our church is really in a lot of trouble and is in danger of closing, but we have an action plan, so I pray the 5 year mark that is projected for our closing is a celebration instead. If, and only if people are willing to do what is recommended and let go of their desires then perhaps it will all be okay.

It’s sad to me that our priorities as a country or so out-of-order. I mean I stayed up late going to the gym last night knowing I had church, so I know that I am not holier than thou or anything. I understand why some of the traditional churches like mine are failing, and it is for failure to embrace change. I know that change is scary. I don’t like it to some degree. But it is more of an issue in my personal life regarding not wanting to change than it is at church or work. But there are so many people who care so much about doing things the same way even if the way things are done are not achieving positive results.

For instance, with my weight loss. I eat right 99.9 percent of the time. Five meals a day, 100 oz of water, tons of kale and other veggies, nothing processed, organic or kosher meats, but I don’t sleep enough. So, that perhaps could be why I am not losing more weight. I actually felt more tired after sleeping in, but maybe it is because I am so sleep deficient. My point is, that change is hard to embrace, even when it is what we need the most. Getting rid of guilt and worry and having more faith is linked to every area in our life. School, work, church, habits, etc. It is amazing to me that 7.5 million people have “left religion” since 2012, but God and our faith in Him is related to everything that we do.

I think that the problem lies in human pride and the fact that so many people now are gods unto themselves. Why worship a higher power if you think that you know all and that everything that has happened in your life is solely because of your decisions? That seems to be what a lot of the anti-religion problem stems from. People either don’t want to be held accountable for the cruddy lives they lead or are too narcissistic to think that there is any entity outside of themselves to share or admit their issues.

Anyway, I am losing that much-needed sleep and it is obviously one of my big problems. So I will be you all adieu. Good night and I will catch you on the flip side:)

Simply~

Dee

Today I am blogging about being spiritually fed at church. Are you fulfilled? And, are you spiritual? Or religious?

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I have had people who I consider to be more religious or the new term that everyone seems to feel okay with, spiritual, that I talk about being “fed” or “fulfilled” with their message at church. I don’t go to a mega church, or a hip and modern church. I go to a very traditional Protestant church. I don’t mean traditional in terms of a certain political or social leaning, just in the sense of being a church. We still have a liturgy that people of our denomination all across the nation are preached the same lesson or sermon simultaneously because that is the chosen scripture or book or subject of the week. We sing out of a hymnal. We have an order to our worship. We say the Lord’s Prayer, etc.

Various times over the more than a decade that I have lived in D.C. region, I have wondered if there was a church that could fulfill me more. One with more members, prosperity,more families, more people my age. I have not necessarily been brought to tears but a few times from what I heard in the sermon and I wondered if I needed to feel that way more often. When I take a break from church a lot of the summer, I don’t necessarily long to go back. So does that mean that it is something lacking in the church or within me?

I guess it could be a combination of both. Perhaps our church has become a bit stagnant. We are set in our ways at more than half a century old. I am one of the youngest members and see a need for so many changes. But what do I know? I also, as a person need to change a lot. But it takes a lot of courage and ‘get up and go’ to make real change in oneself or in an institution. I am a wonderful person when it comes to plans and ideas and have helped a lot in that way. But execution of these great thoughts are not what I am always the best at. Sometimes I never complete my vision. I put it out there, but it never comes to fruition. If the church is the same way, can I really blame them?

I had a VERY good time at church today and I do not feel that way very often. Between an early Sunday school, choir practice, the church service itself and several meetings afterward, I laughed a lot. Sometimes my devilish side comes out when in church and I know that part of it is not right, but part of it is all in good fun-GOD does have a sense of humor. The way that people carry themselves on committees and with authoritative positions in the church makes me chuckle quite a lot. I have a friend in church that I can complain to, discuss with and laugh about these situations, which makes in nice.

I had a thought as I was fixing a bite to eat when we got home, and it basically was: “Spiritual nourishment cannot come just from church or hearing the word preached. It comes from ourselves-within. It comes from seeking God through prayer at home. Reading and writing in a devotional. Reading the Bible on our own. Praying before meals. In essence, being spiritually fed is a collective act and if we as Christians or believers of God of any faith do not feel fed, well then perhaps it is our fault.

I have some new friends that we are meeting up with later who go to an Ethical Society rather than a traditional church. They are humanists-whatever that really means. She said it is partly secular and partly spiritual. But they go there to worship. I say, whatever it takes for someone to feel good about their life and to connect with God, or whatever being they feel leads them, go for it. I don’t agree that this society is quite what God meant when he talked about fellowship at church. But, I don’t know their hearts, God does. So, I try to not judge them. I am just thankful that they are seeking goodness and morality because deep down I know that all of it is connected to God. God is love. No God, no peace. Know God, Know peace.

We have all heard that saying. I believe it. I feel that a lot of people who down spirituality, really just fear it. So, whether you are religious, spiritual, both or neither. If you feel a longing that cannot be satisfied by human means, start with yourself before pointing the finger at others. Some people do not try to seek God because there is accountability, and like other relationships, it takes work. If people pretend that God/Jesus does not exist, then their life is just easier. Until it isn’t. That is when they start grasping for answers that they cannot find through Google or through friends. Instead of criticizing these folks, give them a hand. Say a prayer. Though I sometimes do not feel these words, I know that they are true. Prayer works…

Simply~

Dee