Tag Archives: Blogging

So, today was great. My daughter made the best…

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My kiddo made the best flourless cake heart-shaped brownies. EVER. I ate 3 for breakfast.:) I feel like I deserve after 5 months of clean eating and very FEW cheats. Then we had an awesome time at church, great lunch with a giftcard at our fave eatery in our ‘hood. Then we went apple picking, found a charming bakery on the way back by accident and they let my daughter help them make bread! It was so impressive and kind and sweet. It was one of those classy small towns that you see in movies.

I just finished eating the rest of my lunch and another cake brownie and I am super tired, super happy and super surprised and humbled by all of the people that sent me gifts and texts and calls and posts regarding my birthday. As I have mentioned in other posts, I don’t feel like I have many friends sometimes, or a “crew”. The truth of the matter is, I have a heck of a lot of loved ones, but they come in the form of people that I would never expect, or that I rarely talk to or see, but they are there.

When I get to a ripe old age in around 50 years from now, I will be able to smile at birthdays past because I have been treated special. I always am, every year, and it is a subtle/needed reminder that I count and I am loved and I am worthy. I need to remember that all of the time without hearing it from 50 people. So as I put my tiara away until I celebrate again tomorrow night (:, I can rest knowing that I rule, at least for a week every year in September. If only we could see ourselves as God sees us. We would then see that we “rule” every day because we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made”.

Simply and Humbly~

Dee

So, I may turn a year older this week, but maybe not a year wiser???????

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I was in the grocery store with my daughter tonight, getting some things to take to the beach tomorrow. We will be back Saturday, but that day is full because she has a class, we are going to a polo match and were supposed to go apple picking. I brought up the fact that we were shopping and what would she need for my cake. She said: “Oh, we will get it later.” Then I got pissed and said: “Later? My bday is this weekend, I will just make my own cupcakes” (there is a mix we had at home that I have really wanted to make)

Then the convo went on and I went on to say that I go overboard for her party and then family day on her real bday every year and that I make a big deal about everyone and I get sick of her waiting ’til the last minute. I really do though. She is not the planner that I am most of the time. It ended in tears and she told me that I was so important to her. I think what pushed me over the edge in the earlier convo is when she said that didn’t have time to look for the recipe. After her school work today and our walk, she had 3 hours of “chill time”. She was watching a movie, while looking up recipes and diy projects.

But, when it comes to me, she doesn’t have time. I really made a big deal of it for the 3 or 4 minutes that we talked about it. But then I apologized when I thought about that she is a child, with other thoughts and no job and no chance to run to the store to get the ingredients. I told her that she meant the world to me and I didn’t mean to be a brat. I went on to say that adults can sometimes have tantrums and fits and act bratty. I owned it and told her that I never meant to hurt her.

Later, I told her that it was my issue with other people and that we could cut out a Saturday event so she would have time to bake. She is a very mature and dear person, and I honestly forget her age so much of the time. So, when she doesn’t act 15, I sometimes fly off of the handle. It’s stupid and immature and not very wise to do. But I am human and I screw up and take out things on my daughter or my mom. I have to remember that she is my child first and friend second. Just like my mother is my mom first and my friend 2nd.

The whole deal is that I obviously don’t feel loved or celebrated or special enough and I acted on that behavior in a childish way. I think the whole “girlfriend gang” that Taylor Swift has and one of my friend’s has a group of friends that are all unmarried with no kids, so they can travel everywhere. Then there’s me. I have a smattering of friends here and there. Most are tied down with kids. Getting through the week between schedules and activities is all that most of them are thinking of.

The moral of the story: My issues are just that. They are mine. I am going to make a wish on my bday cake or cupcake or whatever it ends up being that I will try even more than I already do to think before I speak. Words sting worse than a slap on the face and for longer, and can really do damage. I am not abusive or mean or degrading, but I think that all of us can ponder a bit longer before speaking. I have always had that issue-letting emotions rule over thinking.

On that note, I think I will try to get shut eye. Fiveish in the morning is wayyyyyyyy too early for a night owl like me. Good night, God Bless, and please don’t judge me too harshly for my bratty/divaesque/childish outburst tonight. I am a Virgo, we do have a flair for the drama…

(Side note: I’m blessed. I have a beautiful and talented daughter, a great relationship with my mom, jobs, a cute place, I live in one of the most awesome cities in the U.S. I don’t have “Sex and the City” besties, but I can’t have it all I guess!)

Simply~

Dee

courtesy of our name is blog

courtesy of our name is blog

So, I apologize to you all and to myself for not writing for so long…

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To be honest, we enjoyed the last almost 3 weeks of the pool, every single day. We went on walks and for ice cream and stayed up late watching movies and I read 3 novels in one week and I have caught up on my Real Simple. I love writing, I truly do, but I have been thinking and praying and figuring things out. My fabulous kid go cast in another major DC play, so that schedule starts next week to prepare for December shows. She started 3 more of her activities last week too, and we are doing home schooling again and exercising everyday, so there have been plenty of reasons why I have been incognito!

What have you all been up to? Did you enjoy the rest of the summer? Do you have a fab tan to boast about (like I do?)? Did you squeeze every last minute out of August that you could before succumbing to and getting into the swing of September?

For me, the late Labor Day really put us behind! My bday is soon, I am not financially prepared for the beach trip I wanted to take and all of the other things I want to do for it, so we are going for the day. It is 3 hours to the beach with DC traffic, but we are leaving at 530 am and hope to make the drive in just 2. I can’t wait for this weekend because I have 3 days of bday fun planned with my kid.

Last year, I went to different dinners and lunches with friends, but this year I am doing winery tours a few weeks after my bday. It feels kind of weird that I won’t be seeing friends this week, but next month it will be a celebration again. I chose that time because my kiddo will have an activity overnight then that will afford me the chance to do the limo ride with friends and go to dinner after and not have all the guilt.:)

I really do miss writing and I really miss reading some of your blogs. I have just had to work on a few things that were outside of the creative, for a few weeks. You know, get my household together. I got rid of some small swimsuits and have donated clothing that my kid will not be able to wear next summer. I am still going through clothes as we speak, to fit all of the new fall clothing in the closet that my mom sent.

Oh! I forgot to mention that I got my first record player that I have had in 2 decades! So super stoked. It is a bluetooth/cd/radio/record player. I had to pull out my old Thriller album from my childhood. I was shocked it did not have one scratch at all! Anyway, been rearranging our place, discarding things, organizing school stuff and now I am ready to “do me”-aka write and sing. I started back in choir last week too.

Many, many changes! Tell me what you all have been up to! I am blogging again. Yayyyyy! Happy, Happy Fall to all! I am getting back to basics. Insurance work, home schooling, activities and I love it all! Except work:)

Autumn-02-1024x682

So, August holds new challenges for me…

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I started on August 1st in a “secret” group on Facebook, 30 days 30 walks/runs starting August 1st. I also started a meet your goals challenge on Instagram that started the beginning of August. One of things that I wanted to do was take time to write more. I have not been doing as much as I have wanted since I started because I have been fighting these crazy allergies. But, I am glad that I have these plans to motivate me.

It is funny, the internet giveth, but it sure as heck taketh away at the same time. I love the cool party ideas we get online, the motivational aspects, and the connection with new friends that I would never know otherwise. But, with so many negative people like internet trolls, and people that have blogs dedicated to tearing celebrities down or people in general it gets to be a bit much.

I really try to focus on what it offers that will make my life richer and fuller. I love blogging and have tried it many times over the last 10 years. I am proud to say that I have written in this one a lot more than I have in others, but not as much as I would like. But with this IG challenge, it makes me feel more accountable. The same with exercise. I have exercised a lot more because I am being “judged” or noticed by 1000 other people and I want to finish it completely because my friend invited me to do it.

I also want to challenge myself as I did at the beginning of the year to more prayer and devotional time. That is more important than of the other challenges, but I feel I need to dig in more with it because I know that getting closer to God can help me in every area of my life. If I want to live a life that is beyond my dreams, taking the time to reach out to my Heavenly Father is definitely a step that I need to take.I want to take the step to have a deeper and more meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ, as well as receive my heart’s desires.

What challenges are you facing? Either self-imposed, or involuntary? Maybe if you let people know what you are going through, or connect with others with similar goals/issues/problems, then whatever you are facing will be easier to surpass or overcome.

Have a blessed night!

Simply~
Dee

So, with writing is it more quantity over quality or is quality what people even care about anymore?

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I can say that I really care about what I write.I also care about what other people write. I don’t always have fluffy and glittery writing grace my posts. As a matter of fact, I am just speaking from the heart and writing off of the cuff. Some people may consider my blog a hodge-podge of words that do not amount to anything, but maybe to another my words are an art form.

I write or type on here because I have something to say. I have so much to say that I could write all day long every day. But I don’t want to always share on here my point of view on major political or religious events, because Istep on some people’s toes already in my 3-D life. I certainly don’t want my viewpoints on here to do the same.

But to be completely honest, if I am writing from my own mind, and I am being a purist by saying what I truly feel then I should not care if I offend. I don’t think that any of us should do our writing, art, music or anything to please others. Don’t we spend so much of our time people pleasing in many other ways, so why worry about being judged by people who can’t even see us in person?

I think that I am going to try to not let worries about other people get in my way when I write from now on. Of course I will not write to incite or offend like some do in order to make a splash or to make a name for myself. I will do what I do in my real life but perhaps be a bit more honest, while at the same time being a little less offensive. Don’t get me wrong, I am super kind, but if people push me too much, I am brutally honest and I think I will leave the brutal off and keep the honesty.

I just hope that you all will stick with me through this process as I navigate my life as a single mom and as a wanna be writer. I like all people, want people to like me. I also want people to relate to what I have to say. But, writing to gain acceptance and a form of “love” from others is not going to churn out quality writing. But if quality is not your thing, and numbers mean everything to you, then go for it. Just don’t expect me to read it:) And, in all that you do, just be true to yourself. There is no other way to be that gives real satisfaction.

Simply~

Dee

So, I forgot how much I loved rainstorms until now…

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So, I read a chapter of Harry Potter to my daughter along with a Psalm and she went to bed after 11 which is way too late. But it was perfect timing. I fixed myself and kale stir-fry snack with almonds, and as soon as I sat down to watch Gilmore Girls, the thunderstorm started. People that are from the midwest and out west, often freak out when there are major thunderstorms, but us East Coasters can relate to them and some of us even feel at ease when they start up.

Rain is one of my favorite things ever. Besides, chocolate and Sound of Music and my kid and love and Seinfeld and cats (do not worry, I will not start singing Favorite Things). For me, rain is a chilling out period. The soothing sound makes me want to grab a book out of the large stack of books to read and read all day. When it is hot, it nourishes everything and refreshes. At night, it is so nice to open the patio door and have the ceiling fans on and just listen and snuggle up under a summer throw. It is almost the same effect for me as it is when I listen to waves crash. Nothing can replace the feeling I get when I hear the sounds of the beach, but rain is a close 2nd. Once I ran around half-dressed with a boyfriend late at night as a joke/dare. I have stamped in it, and splashed in it and danced in it. The rain is cathartic for me on an uneventful Saturday night, or at any time.

Maybe I am in the minority in being a lover of precipitation, but if you don’t light up when the wet stuff drops out of the sky, give it another chance. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, pray or meditate and soak it up (not literally-haha). Take out a journal, or a recorder or your laptop and write or speak your thoughts or just be still. Take time to realize what a blessing and a gift it is, rather than a slippery hindrance. It is all about perspective my friends.

Simply~

Dee

Cover photo courtesy of picjumbo.com

So, are some of us unlucky in relationships/friendships, or am I being tested over and over and over again?

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So, I feel like myself and my daughter and myself are both the type of people who give and give and take very little, and we are almost always taken for granted. For instance, one of my best friends and my god-daughter came into town on a horribly busy weekend and stayed for 5 nights. During that crazy time, we had a dress rehearsal and 2 weddings, and I still tried to keep them happy and occupied. They were sick and didn’t feel like doing a lot, and I got very little sleep, but I hung in there and cooked and planned like a happy hostess. Now they have been gone for almost 2 weeks and we called and called to check on them and my daughter found out through an educational game that they play online together that their phone is acting wonky. But they could have called us from another number, or they could have Facetimed us or something. Though they are loving and always remember every occasion and root for us so much of the time, they are around when they feel like it. When I told them via voicemail and email about my daughter’s commercial, they didn’t call us or email us for a month because they were “busy”. But, they emailed all of their friends and called them to tell them about it. They also received my daughter’s video that they ordered in the mail that is 2 hours long from a big performance she did in the fall, and watched that but didn’t have not one smidgen of extra time to communicate to tell us that.

This may sound petty or like I am being too sensitive, but I get sick of people just assuming that we will always be available. It’s like they can be completely selfish or rude by ignoring us and when they are ready to “deal” with us, then we are supposed to be ready and willing to talk and deal with them. I don’t know how to be unavailable to friends or men or anyone that I deal with. Because the truth is, the people that I deal with I consider friends or loved ones, and I am not into games with people that are supposed to be dear to me. It’s like I have all forms of dysfunction in the form of people that I call friends. I have never been good in the man department either, so that is why I haven’t dated for the almost 6 years I have been apart from ex-husband, except for dates that I went on just for dinner, knowing they wouldn’t go further because I suck at choosing!! I wonder if because I complain about these people, but still continue to deal with them (not the friends I mentioned, but friends in general), maybe I get what I deserve? One of my friends in the past said that I take in all of the strays. Perhaps they are right?!! Bad childhood, anxiety issues, super selfish, not dependable??? Well, call me and I will take you in and take on all of your baggage and then wonder why like a dizzy blonde (I am blonde) that these people aren’t all that I expect in a friend.

I do have a few good friends, but for some crazy reason, the people who I call best friends have the most issues. Or, they aren’t the friend to me that I am to them. I know people have different backgrounds and experiences and I have to take that into consideration. But I am human and I have feelings and I don’t want to put up with whatever people dish out. I want my close friends to return my call in a timely manner or be there the way that I am for them. I want people in my life that I can depend on all of the time, not just one they are over their funk and moods. So, do I get rid of the people in my life that are abnormal and annoying and not around all of the time, or do I continue to put up with their slack a–es and grin and bear it? That is perhaps why this cycle is continuing because I keep complaining, yet keep dealing with it. A therapist would probably say that I am co-dependent, or have self esteem issues. I don’t think it is either one. I think that I want the whole Golden Rule thing, “Do unto others…”.

I think that perhaps I will pray for God to bring “normal” and decent people into our lives that have our backs on rainy days as well as sunny. This whole fair-weather friend thing is for the birds. I don’t want to give up on new friendships or men in my life, but it is so hard to trust others! Remind me to tell you all about some of the other shady stories about men and friends, it will be a lot more than 800 some odd words. Trust me!:)

Simply~

Dee