So, I took some much needed chill time with my soon to be high school senior, and watched a movie, Whiplash, with Miles Teller and J.K. Simmons. Though she big time denies it, she only wanted watch it for Teller. She is not a movie person, she is totally a play/musical kind of person because that is what she does, but she made a hell of a good suggestion this time. To say it was emotionally and psychologically piercing to the soul and psyche, is not an exaggeration. It is about an aspiring drum prodigy who hopes to be someone that will be spoken about in Music History for a millenia, but his maniacal instructor does everything but murder to demean and discourage this young man, but in the eyes of the teacher, he is simply “inspiring” his greatness,

We first started watching it with a bit of hope and anxiety as my daughter is about to go through the whole prescreen and audition process on the Musical Theater BFA journey. It is highly competitive, 1 to 3 % acceptance rate, so seeing a film about an intensely coveted music program, the number one in the nation, it hit very close to home for both of us. But the terror within J.K.’s character was quite unsettling. There was an overall madness and depravity interlaced with drive and ambition that made this a bittersweet watch. I have not intentionally planned on doing mini reviews in these last 2 blog posts, but I found this movies to be very stressful, yet very much enlightening. At least for me personally.

I have never stuck to a passion, or maybe even known exactly what my passions truly are. I like writing, I grew up playing music around the clock and sang and played my clarinet for years. I am crazy about animals, but I have never dedicated myself to something. Truly. Consistently. There has always been a lull in my interests, or time away for different reasons. My Best Guy always says, carry a notebook around, be like Patricia Hysmith. I want to be. I want to be like my cousin who got permanent artwork in a well known museum in his early 30’s and still gets paid to do art and has been sketching since age 2. I am not sure if it is my fear of failure to commit myself fully, lack of discipline, no true direction or just uncertainty that holds me hostage to do what I am meant to do.

I do not want to be as crazed and solitary as Teller’s character, so wrapped up in his craft that he had no real relationships or thought of anything besides his music. But I would love to have just a smidgen of his dedication and belief in his own personal greatness. I have 3 books right under the tip of my fingers, ready to be hammered out on my vintage typewriter, given to me by BG, or on this Chromebook but the starting, the belief, the follow through is where the problem lies. Any of you feel me on this? No matter why you write your blog, it has to be because you believe in something, or you would have nothing to share. Let’s do this guys. As some people I know love to say: LFG! (Let’s ——- Go!) I have this habit of believing in and pushing others more than I do myself. I say we all push each other! Hit the subscribe button if you have not and let’s get it started. The time is now..,

Please leave a comment or shoot me an email and let’s share and talk about our goals together! We can do this!

~simply

Dee