So, what is toxic masculinity? Really?

In today’s late edition of- Wednesday’s Wit, Wisdom, Wondering and Whatnot, we will discuss toxic masculinity. Of course I understand the definition, my title was merely rhetorical. Most of us know the meaning because we hear this term all day everyday and about half of the time it “triggers” me, as my daughter says. Because it is often misused or just overused.

Today, men, especially straight men are villianized in the way that some oppressed groups or  “unpopular groups” in society are, Christians for one. I get so sick of people clumping all of any group together or loosely applying it to a majority of any one group. Like- Christian’s are bigoted and men are chauvinists or black people are criminals. You get the point. Blind ignorance.

Toxic masculinity the term really started being thrown around after the Women’s March and the Me Too Movement. But just like the “Good Ole Boy Network” and “Rape Culture” are terrible, so is treating men as a whole like they are either not needed or all vile perpetrators. This ‘down with the patriarchy’ thing is understandable, for sure.

Women all over the world have been oppressed and in some religions and regions of the world are still definitely treated as second or third class citizens. No doubt. But attacking every man in sight is definitely adding to cultural tensions and is counterproductive, 100 percent. I am all for independent women and women building up other women. But does that mean we need to tear our men down?

And by the way, for those who need help understanding, none of us would be living or breathing or typing if it wasn’t for a man. You know it does take ‘2 to tango’ or to make a baby.:) So yeah, even a crap dad like mine was worth something because he is halfway responsible for my being here to talk about it.

I am probably preaching to the choir and most of the people that read this blog are probably not the type to over use terms like this without thinking. These popular news bite terms get tossed around on social media and casual conversation. They then become ensconced in our daily lives in a way that is not so positive or in ways that just make no sense.

Of course we all have groups of people that annoy us or frustrate us or that we can’t relate to. Everyone has a bias or a prejudice. If you say you don’t you are either related to Mother Teresa or are lying through your teeth. But bashing and attacking any group, except for maybe a hate inspired group, is not going to help your cause. It doesn’t help anyone grow and only hurts and deepens wounds and conflict.

I think it is fine for men to be rough and tough and watch sports or to knit and read books and go to Broadway plays, whatever makes them happy. Judging the sex of a person is just as wrong as judging sexual orientation of someone. But assuming that all men are over sexualized bullies is preposterous. However, I do think it is correct to call people out who truly are doing something terrible and violating and harmful. Absotively, Posituley. It is mandatory that we stand up for wrongdoing.

But as humans we have got to learn to use better terminology towards each other, period. I completely get why some of these terms were adopted or adapted to fit certain personas. But it is extremely dangerous and irresponsible to target a group of people, many who are innocents, and label them as evil. Our emotions towards wrong have to be directed properly or we become the toxic ones. You don’t have to agree with me, I just urge you to consider what I am saying.

Just a thought for this Wednesday evening…



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I have tons of education and don't use it! I am non-traditional and traditional rolled into one person. I am a Christian, but need work! I am conservative fiscally, but I could care less who someone marries. My favorite things to do are: hang out with my kid, watch movies, read, write, sing, dance, love, live life to the fullest! I love: my kid, my cat, my best guy D, God, rain, chocolate, Christmas, friends, cats, animals in general, honesty, avocados, love, Hallmark channel, iced coffee, Harry Potter, NYC, England, Italy, D.C., Paris and autumn.

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