Monthly Archives: July 2015

So, you can teach life lessons to people in so many different ways

Posted on by
Reply

Today I had a mom/daughter date planned. Reading a book together, picnic and board game at a neighborhood area that is full of green grass and hills. It rained, so we decided to tweak it. We played a board game and watched Rocky 1-3. I know that is a weird movie choice, but we have done all of the children’s classics and I am introducing her to movies that were popular when I was a little tyke and they are now considered classics.

What these movies teach are so many things: courage,to never give up, you can be anything you want if you work hard enough, it doesn’t matter where you come from because you can still succeed, etc. I never in my life thought that I would use Rocky as teachable moment, but hey-whatever works!!!

I did not plan on it, but we had such a good time and I loved watching her watch a movie that is from what I think is a much simpler time. She was playing a game on her Kindle for 30 minutes of it, which is unusual because she doesn’t play her games that much, but besides that it was a wonderful bonding time. Cheering for the good and hard-working guy and booing Mr. T and the mean Russian guy.

My whole point of this post is that as a parent, there is always a way to connect with your child. I don’t want to hear the b.s. about your kid is addicted to technology. If they are, it is your fault. So do something about it! Live life in 3-D!

Good night!

Simply~

Dee

So, I skipped church this morning and slept in and sleep is not so bad…and neither is change

Posted on by
1

In case I haven’t told you before, I suck at sleeping. I really do. I stay up and think and worry and plan and think some more. My body was overdue for rest, but I hate that I missed church in order to catch up. I ended up going to 2 church functions later, so I felt a bit redeemed for my slumber faux pas. Our church is really in a lot of trouble and is in danger of closing, but we have an action plan, so I pray the 5 year mark that is projected for our closing is a celebration instead. If, and only if people are willing to do what is recommended and let go of their desires then perhaps it will all be okay.

It’s sad to me that our priorities as a country or so out-of-order. I mean I stayed up late going to the gym last night knowing I had church, so I know that I am not holier than thou or anything. I understand why some of the traditional churches like mine are failing, and it is for failure to embrace change. I know that change is scary. I don’t like it to some degree. But it is more of an issue in my personal life regarding not wanting to change than it is at church or work. But there are so many people who care so much about doing things the same way even if the way things are done are not achieving positive results.

For instance, with my weight loss. I eat right 99.9 percent of the time. Five meals a day, 100 oz of water, tons of kale and other veggies, nothing processed, organic or kosher meats, but I don’t sleep enough. So, that perhaps could be why I am not losing more weight. I actually felt more tired after sleeping in, but maybe it is because I am so sleep deficient. My point is, that change is hard to embrace, even when it is what we need the most. Getting rid of guilt and worry and having more faith is linked to every area in our life. School, work, church, habits, etc. It is amazing to me that 7.5 million people have “left religion” since 2012, but God and our faith in Him is related to everything that we do.

I think that the problem lies in human pride and the fact that so many people now are gods unto themselves. Why worship a higher power if you think that you know all and that everything that has happened in your life is solely because of your decisions? That seems to be what a lot of the anti-religion problem stems from. People either don’t want to be held accountable for the cruddy lives they lead or are too narcissistic to think that there is any entity outside of themselves to share or admit their issues.

Anyway, I am losing that much-needed sleep and it is obviously one of my big problems. So I will be you all adieu. Good night and I will catch you on the flip side:)

Simply~

Dee

So, I feel like a loser sometimes when my daughter is not with me…

Posted on by
4

I had to run all over D.C. area today. If I told you the logistics and what I did in between, your head would spin. I’ll keep it simple. I had to pick up 2 kids at 10. Event at 11:15. Treat at 1:30. Pick up another kid at 2. Pool at 230. Drop off 2 kids at 4. Rush home, cook and drop my kid off at 5. Pool with other kid and drop her off at 7. Pick up my kid at 7. Drive 30 minutes to drop off my daughter for a sleepover by 7:30. Errands and home at 10:30. I will not talk about the rest of this weekend:)

So, now that I let you know how my day is, the feeling about being a loser, was resounding when I was at Tysons Mall. There were couples and families and friends everywhere. And then, there was me. Walking alone, shopping alone and leaving alone. It’s not that bad of a thing I guess, but it happens all of the time because I am in the same weird stage that I was in when my daughter was a newborn/baby. She was too young for playdates and I did not know other moms, so it was just me and my kid alone a lot and she could not talk to me. I also did not have any friends because I was new to the area.

After that time, there were probably 6 years of continual playdates. Even though my daughter and some of the other tykes had Little Gym and rec classes, they weren’t in full-time school and us moms were so excited to have little kids with fun personalities and mom’s night out activities. I loved the time alone with my child then because she could carry on conversations, but I equally enjoyed speaking with the moms and hanging out with them.

Fast forward to today…All of my friends have kids in school all day and their kids are in multiple activities going in multiple directions. I RARELY talk to them on the phone anymore. D.C. metro is so spread out, so we have friends that live all over, and unless you live here you cannot understand that 15 miles away from someone is far when it comes to how long it takes to get places here. So, I am dropping my kid off for rehearsals since last September, she doesn’t have as many playdates because her friends are busy as well so I am right where I started.

So when I was at the mall tonight, I felt pathetic and alone. I do have friends. I know some really good people here, but we don’t get together anymore except for perhaps special occasions, and on an odd day where it works out that schedules align. When I walked around in the “hip mall” I felt uncool. I instantly regretted not knowing more people who can hang out or not setting up a dinner with a friend. But I did get good deals on clothes for my daughter, so that was a win.:)

I am sure that I am not the only one who feels this way. And don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. I love every stage with my daughter. I have just spent more than a decade as her mom, and I don’t know who I am outside of that and that is so scary. I feel like I am a half-empty nester. She is still in the nest, but just not as dependent on being there as she once was before. My first instinct is to try to do online dating, but that is just repeating an old habit-turning to men to complete me as a person. I can’t do that and don’t want to do that. But I do think if I had a partner to navigate things with that this stage would not be so tricky or I would not feel so uncertain.

Good night my WP friends. Thanks for “listening”.

Simply~

Dee

So, with writing is it more quantity over quality or is quality what people even care about anymore?

Posted on by
3

I can say that I really care about what I write.I also care about what other people write. I don’t always have fluffy and glittery writing grace my posts. As a matter of fact, I am just speaking from the heart and writing off of the cuff. Some people may consider my blog a hodge-podge of words that do not amount to anything, but maybe to another my words are an art form.

I write or type on here because I have something to say. I have so much to say that I could write all day long every day. But I don’t want to always share on here my point of view on major political or religious events, because Istep on some people’s toes already in my 3-D life. I certainly don’t want my viewpoints on here to do the same.

But to be completely honest, if I am writing from my own mind, and I am being a purist by saying what I truly feel then I should not care if I offend. I don’t think that any of us should do our writing, art, music or anything to please others. Don’t we spend so much of our time people pleasing in many other ways, so why worry about being judged by people who can’t even see us in person?

I think that I am going to try to not let worries about other people get in my way when I write from now on. Of course I will not write to incite or offend like some do in order to make a splash or to make a name for myself. I will do what I do in my real life but perhaps be a bit more honest, while at the same time being a little less offensive. Don’t get me wrong, I am super kind, but if people push me too much, I am brutally honest and I think I will leave the brutal off and keep the honesty.

I just hope that you all will stick with me through this process as I navigate my life as a single mom and as a wanna be writer. I like all people, want people to like me. I also want people to relate to what I have to say. But, writing to gain acceptance and a form of “love” from others is not going to churn out quality writing. But if quality is not your thing, and numbers mean everything to you, then go for it. Just don’t expect me to read it:) And, in all that you do, just be true to yourself. There is no other way to be that gives real satisfaction.

Simply~

Dee

So, is it super weird that I find solace in the dysfunction of television families?

Posted on by
Reply

I think that this year I have fallen in love with tv again. Parenthood, Gilmore Girls (seeing all of it in order!), and many more shows. I thought TV was a lost art. When I get rid of cable, which I do every couple of years, I realize that there is much more than reality tv. I don’t watch tv on a schedule like I did when I was younger and had no child, so Amazon, Netflix and Hulu are perfect for me!

I digress, I love the family connections on these shows. I long for the large tribe that the Braverman’s have on Parenthood and I relate completely to the small family unit present on the Gilmore Girls. But these people have a lot of issues. Even more than I do. But the problems are so believeable because they aren’t unrealisitc like soap operas where someone dies and comes back. But they are more like art imitating life. These are issues like divorce, infidelity, rebellious teens, aging parents, pregnancy out-of-wedlock, etc.

Not to say that I have not had some of this dysfunction, because I have. But for the most part, my small family doesn’t have major drama. It is actually a normal kind of abnormal going on. I really enjoy the drama and happiness that evolves in these different relationships. I want to be in these families. It’s a mini-escape from the part of my life that is lacking -romance, big family, money.:) Anyway, if you have given up hope on television, cut the cord. Pay for these cheap streaming services and watch a series from beginning to end. You may be a temporary couch potato, but your psyche will thank you in the end. At least mine did.

Night again…

Simply~
Dee

So, despite being raised watching 80’s romantic comedies, I have to be my own hero…

Posted on by
Reply

I thought about today how much movies, while I was growing up influenced my life or outlook on life. The lead female actor in “Can’t Buy Me Love” which starred the pretty much unknown at the time Patrick Dempsey, died yesterday. If you haven’t seen it, you must. She was popular, he was a dork. She helped to make him popular, he became a jerk. At the end, they fell in love. Oops! Spoiler:)  I was so wrapped up as an elementary/ middle schooler when these movies came out, having a false sense of security. Heck, a false sense of life in general. I was sure that I would meet my Jake Ryan (Sixteen Candles) and he would rescue me and I would suddenly have a wonderful life and no longer be unfulfilled.

So, forward about 30 years and I am a dang good parent, but I do not have a hero taking care of me. I hope I am some kind of hero to my daughter, but if I had it together more financially, then I feel that could be more of a reality. I know that money is not everything, but it is a heck of a lot when you don’t have much! Don’t get me wrong, we are not destitute, but there is not a lot of extra cash flow after food and housing and utilities and other bills.

I don’t really know how to be the heroine in my story. Start a business? Start the nonprofit I have always thought about? Invent a cool new product that people can’t live without? Meet a man to care for us? Or do I just concentrate on being the best mom I can be and keep plugging away until I can find a good job? Sounds like the most logical thing to do, but it is not necessarily the most appealing. I mean being a great mom, I have no problem with. But the continual struggle to make more money or to get a job that matches my skill, education and financial needs is what is not so fun.

P.S. It’s so funny that the movie I mentioned at the beginning of this post was “Can’t Buy Me Love’. See! Money is involved in every aspect of our lives;)

Good night…

Simply~

Dee

So, am I the only one that doesn’t like to admit when they screwed up?

Posted on by
Reply

I still have a hard time admitting when I am wrong. Not in a prideful way like if I bet on a basketball bracket, or if I say that a certain actor was in a movie, and it was someone else. I am talking about admitting wrongdoing when I think that there will be repercussions that could cost me my job, or someone’s opinion of me. Since I am an adult, I should not be afraid of saying I screwed up, but I kind of am.:)

Take today for instance, I let a client file slip through the cracks and now we owe them money. It was an innocent mistake, because honestly I have not had training at all in the position that I am doing. But, I should have done checks more often or had a better system of doing things. I let my boss know that we owe money and it is my fault, but I kind of blamed the insurance company as well so I would not have to take complete credit for screwing up.

That is probably a bit childish, pathetic or just straight up dishonest, but I don’t like to disappoint people. I don’t like to make them think that I am not dependable or competent. I don’t want to embarrass myself either. So, I am going to either have to start being perfect in all that I do or have to “man” up and tell the complete truth.

It can’t be that difficult, right? I have managed to clean eat for almost 3 months(which is a major miracle!), I moved over 600 dollars away from home with no friends to DC, I stand up to people who some people would be fearful of and never let people walk over me.  So surely I can just suck it up when I fail and lay everything on the line. At least I hope so?