Tag Archives: Romance

So, perhaps romance and true love is not just for tv dramas…

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Over the last year and a half I have gotten into television dramas. A lot! I have not had cable most of that time, so I have binge-watched shows like Scandal and Parenthood and Nashville. When I had cable, I found myself dumbing down with reality crap.

These dramas have me or have had me wanting to be in love. Cookie and Lucious’ chemistry on Empire and Rayna and Deacon’s true love on Nashville and “Olitz” with their scandalous affair, made me think that those stories had to come from some real life situations correct?

So, there goes the dilemma that I go through at the end of every summer. I have a birthday coming up, then the holidays, and I don’t have fancy parties to go to because I have not significant other. I partially want that part of my life to be revamped and the other part of me wants to enjoy raising my child.

I feel guilty for not looking for romance, and guilty for thinking of it. It’s like I am fulfilled in so many ways, but certain songs or show or movies will spark that desire for the company of a man. Not just any man, but THE man. A man who will change everything for me.

The kind of man who would step in and be a great dad to my kid. The kind of person that would bring change to my life, but not disruptions that are unpleasant. Someone that would fit perfectly in a four-part puzzle. Me, my kid, God and “the guy”.

I go through these phases of trying online dating, and i will respond for a month and then get overwhelmed by so many responses (def.not bragging) that I send them to spam. Then, when I need my ego stroked, I dip back in the pool again. I think that I want a guy, but not with the strings.

I want what is good on paper for the sake of saying that my life is full. But then I feel like a fool for feeling like it is full without a man. Is this confusing to you? Because it sure is heck is confusing for me.

What I get out of these shows besides entertainment, is hope. I get the feeling that I can be that person that someone can’t live without. I can be the person that someone would give up anything for.

I think the real deal is that I want to meet someone organically. I want God to just drop the right person in my lap as I am picking out blueberries or as I wait for my mom at the airport. Or even when I am getting my license renewed.

I don’t want to find someone on my own because I suck at relationships. Or, I suck at the choosing. And because I am not one of those people who can hear God speaking to me, I need for things to happen in a manner that I can be sure that it is all God and not me-if possible.

Signing off for now Hopeless Romantic

aka

Simply Dee~

So, despite being raised watching 80’s romantic comedies, I have to be my own hero…

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I thought about today how much movies, while I was growing up influenced my life or outlook on life. The lead female actor in “Can’t Buy Me Love” which starred the pretty much unknown at the time Patrick Dempsey, died yesterday. If you haven’t seen it, you must. She was popular, he was a dork. She helped to make him popular, he became a jerk. At the end, they fell in love. Oops! Spoiler:)  I was so wrapped up as an elementary/ middle schooler when these movies came out, having a false sense of security. Heck, a false sense of life in general. I was sure that I would meet my Jake Ryan (Sixteen Candles) and he would rescue me and I would suddenly have a wonderful life and no longer be unfulfilled.

So, forward about 30 years and I am a dang good parent, but I do not have a hero taking care of me. I hope I am some kind of hero to my daughter, but if I had it together more financially, then I feel that could be more of a reality. I know that money is not everything, but it is a heck of a lot when you don’t have much! Don’t get me wrong, we are not destitute, but there is not a lot of extra cash flow after food and housing and utilities and other bills.

I don’t really know how to be the heroine in my story. Start a business? Start the nonprofit I have always thought about? Invent a cool new product that people can’t live without? Meet a man to care for us? Or do I just concentrate on being the best mom I can be and keep plugging away until I can find a good job? Sounds like the most logical thing to do, but it is not necessarily the most appealing. I mean being a great mom, I have no problem with. But the continual struggle to make more money or to get a job that matches my skill, education and financial needs is what is not so fun.

P.S. It’s so funny that the movie I mentioned at the beginning of this post was “Can’t Buy Me Love’. See! Money is involved in every aspect of our lives;)

Good night…

Simply~

Dee

Writing, Pedicure, Fancy lunch out-A perfect day for me and my little Valetine

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I’m not the kind of woman who gets pedicures or haircuts on a regular basis. I probably get pedis done 2/3 times a year-max. I get my hair cut maybe once or twice a year. I dress nice and wear cute accessories, but wear little makeup. I am low maintenance in a material or superficial sense.

But,for the things that matter the most, I am super high maintenance. I expect for birthdays and holidays to be big. Not just for me, but for whomever is in my immediate family or circle. I like to be told that I matter. I want to be appreciated. I want to be able to tell that who I am means a lot to who I deal with, because I give all of my heart to my family and friends. I don’t want to be recognized, I just don’t want to be taken for granted.

Those things make me high maintenance. Even though we ate at Capital Grille today and I got my daughter an American Girl item at the mall and we got spa treatments,those things are nice a few times a year, but just are not as important to me as they are to others.

I carry an old Michael Kors purse that my friend gave me when she was cleaning out her closet. The wristlet/wallet inside of it was a gift from another friend. I am wearing Uggs that are 3 years old and a dress and scarf that are probably the same age.

My point is, that I have realized that I am more of a romantic and idealist when it comes to matters of the heart rather than what a man spends on me. One of my best Valentine’s ever is one where my boyfriend and I went to a town about an hour and a half away and he had pre-planned all of these surprise for me throughout the downtown area. Every place we stopped, there would be rose petals on the steps, or a sign and a stuffed animal in a jewelry case, or a heart charm. None of those items were major status symbols. They were probably not coveted by anyone that I knew, but there was thought behind them.

I am not tooting my own horn, and I am not saying that I would not accept a Cartier lock necklace because that would be a lie. I just wish that more people cared about the way in which they were treated or how much their loved one helped them in different areas of their life, than what their relationship appeared to others.

That guy that did all of those sweet things, was one of the least attractive guys I dated, at least according to my friends. But he made me the happiest. He drove an old truck that used to be his grandfather’s and he worked part-time at the Gap and though he was in his mid 20’s, he was still completing his degree. People used to ask me what I saw in him. I would always say, “he treats me like a queen”. It was the Happy Anniversary cards every month on the 18th. It was how we would stay at my place until I fell asleep and then he would drive home. The reason we did not work out, is that he was not ready for marriage and I was. Ten years later he got married and I was already married with a child that was in kindergarten.

It is amazing that though he did not have the “swagger”, or abs or “hot car”, he is the one that had the biggest impact. He calls me from time to time, and I have even visited with he and his wife. I wonder if I would have been satisfied with him as  a long-time partner, or if he was someone who was good for me at that point in my life but would not satisfy who I am today.

Nonetheless, he taught me (or God did through him), what romantic love should be. So perhaps that is why I wore my red today and was all smiles all day, without having a guy in my life, I am just not willing to settle unless I get someone as good as, what my friends referred to as “the strange one”, or someone even better. A person suited just for me. I am waiting God! And, I am going to smile and be happy because a relationship does not make who you are. I am just glad that I had money to do nice things today, and honestly blessed because I woke up yet another day!

So,I think for all of the men and women out there that feel bad about themselves this weekend, just rest assured that being alone is better than being with someone and feeling lonely. I have done the lonely in a relationship thing and it is the worst.

Happy hearts weekend friends. Love is a gift. Share it wherever you go, and good will come to you. I promise.

Simply~

Dee

Trying to blog and watch one of my favorite Will Smith movies is tough, but somebody’s gotta do it…

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So, I am not dating, kind of tried to last year but I couldn’t fully commit to it. I went on 4 horrible dates with 3 decent guys and one complete douche of a guy. I just did not find in them what I wanted and as much as the movie Hitch, and the Wedding Planner and You Got Mail gives me hope, I just can’t figure it out. What I mean by ‘it’ is love and romance and giving my heart away again. I can’t take just whatever so that I can be a part of a pair. I have to have for once in my life, someone who will make that grand gesture. So until then…

I would looooove to be with someone like Will Smith’s character in Hitch, or Tom Hanks in You Got Mail, or of course Matthew McConaughey in Wedding Planner. Or, even like Gentelmenhood who is an awesome guy who just wrote a book and I am Instagram friends with. He seems to have it all figured out. He is seriously not settling and not going to make mistakes he made in the past with women. He has admitted to his wrongdoing and has committed his life to teaching others how to love and what love is not.

This is very similar to the movie Hitch. In case you haven’t seen it, Alex Hitchins is his character and his job is to pair up the most unlikely men with the objects of their affection. He strictly deals in love and not lust and wants to help men because of how uncertain he was with women when he was younger. He got hurt big time and wants to spread the word about what to do and not to do. Funnily enough, he has a hard time finding love himself. Then he and his love interest have a few ups and downs and the movie ends in a way that makes me very happy.

It really is a novel idea. It is funny and inspiring and gives people like me hope. But, as much hope and inspiration I may seek or receive, I just can’t step out on faith and take the chance. I am pretty much satisfied with sitting at home on Saturday night and blogging after a full day with my kid. I am warm and comfy and am not wasting money at a lounge or 30’s and 40’s going out group so that I can bump into the love of my life in the way that people do on a movie.

It just doesn’t happen for me like that. Everything is not that easy. I have never had things fall into place easily, and frankly I don’t want the man who I will be with forever to happen that way either. I want to have someone who is truly God sent who has eyes for no one but me and who finds all of my quirks irresistible. I have always settled and overlooked things that I detested about a man just to have love. But I do believe that I will find a man (at some point) that will be my true other half.

Until then, I will raise my kid and cats and meet with friends a couple of times a month for a movie or coffee. I will read my Bible, write in my devotional and type my thoughts on here. I will continue to eat well and start to make exercise a priority. Just like I feel that God is preparing a man for me, I have to get myself together for my match as well. I think I am off to a pretty good start…