Tag Archives: Facebook

So, I find myself behind on my writing again

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I am back. Tech week has started at my daughter’s big production in D.C. this week. That means that she has to be at the theatre 7 times this week and 3 next week. Roughly 75/80 hours in 2 weeks. It’s fun, but tiring.

I haven’t written awhile. Been doing some soul searching and reevaluating a lot of things. Job, people, situation, etc. The older I get the more disappointed I am in people. I think social media definitely lends to that. A lot.

If you will remember, I quit Facebook for a bit. I had to get back on because I am the administrator for a Facebook page for a church and if I deactivated, then so did the church!

In the time that I have been back on there, I have realized that when people aren’t happy they aren’t happy for you. When people want what you have they aren’t happy for you.

People that have loads of people supporting them on Facebook are the kind that have 1500 friends. Or, people that constantly go out and have wine and party. Or people whom show their bodies off.

I am far beyond my party stage. I am too private to have more than 100 or so friends. And, I am definitely not fit enough to show body pics. Even if I was, I am somebody’s mom and it’s just not a good luck for me.

I am saying all of this to say that modern tech can be hurtful to a degree. If people don’t like your pics, you wonder why. If a friend doesn’t text you back, it is bothersome. If you email a friend and they never reply it can make one worry. If you message someone and see the time that they viewed it and they don’t make the effort to answer your query then it gets personal.

I have been going through this deal lately with friends. I called 5 people over the last week, and not one called me back. One friend is a friend of over 20 years, but has always been bad about calling. She is a full time mom and has a full time job and her kids are in activities and we are in different states. So she has a pass because she is there when I need her.

But the other people, one is supposed to be my best friend and I am her daughter’s Godmother. I have tried 4 ways to get in touch with her because her husband can be controlling. My daughter has even tried to Facetime and message her God sister because she misses her and our kids are best friends. They live out of state and we don’t see them but every 2 years so we love to talk to them. There has been no reply.

The other people are really non-factors. But, I have felt kind of like a social leper as of late. I don’t see most of these people that I have called because we don’t live near each other, so it is natural that I want to talk with them from time to time. So it is not like I have had a falling out with them or offended them. I am reaching out to them!

I don’t call them a lot, we may go a month or so without talking. And then we talk like crazy for a couple of weeks and then things get crazy again. But we haven’t talked to my “best friend” and Godchild in 6 weeks. Four ways of communication have not phased her. I guess when she is ready she will contact us. But I guess I am tired of being the friend that is “ready” when people feel like being bothered.

I am an above and beyond kind of friend. I am not a taker, I am a giver and a counselor and confidante. I try to not expect a lot in return, but I should not always be the one reaching out to people. I almost feel like God is trying to tell me something about the people who are in my life.

I don’t know how changing friends or deleting people out of my life is going to make it better. But perhaps there is a divine plan in the works. I certainly haven’t done anything to deserve the cold shoulder. So I don’t know what to think.

But if I ignore someone, I’m a B—. Or, I am being insensitive. One of the biggest faults that I have is that I am too caring, too forgiving, and apparently a glutton for punishment. Advice? Similar story to share? Or am I in this leper world alone?

Simply~

Dee

So, I cut Facebook loose for at least 9 days

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Okay, I am in phase 1 of my finding myself/finding who my friends are is my mission. I deactivated Facebook and I set it for 9 days. I kept finding myself all throughout the day wanting to log on. Or check in somewhere, etc. I still have my Instagram and my Twitter. But my IG is not as personal and has some friends, but also strangers. Twitter is even less personal and was started because of a fandom (followers of a show) and now I follow a lot of political people on their.

For me, Facebook was personal and had people on there that I felt close to. There are some great people on there that I love. Don’t get me wrong. But, I want more from a relationship than a like. I want to see who is really tried and true. So many times, people are on there just to judge or be nosy. I will find out who my real friends are from this adventure. That is for sure. I don’t post a lot on IG and even less on Twitter. So, I am going to see how my life is and how it feels with less social on media and more social in person.

I am tired of feeling disconnected. I am tired of not seeing people in 3-D. I am wondering if others feel the same as I? So totally in touch with people electronically, but so out of tune with their real lives or issues because of this technology dependence. I know we will never go back to the 80’s, but so many times I wish we could! We had a good president, terrorism was a word I knew nothing about, and race relations were decent.

I digress. We are in this age of technology addiction. I get it. I am typing right now on my laptop. But I really and truly want  am going to  make life simpler. I am working hard to declutter stuff, use technology less and get rid of people who only weigh me down. In the midst of this, I hope to find what I am looking for. Both in other people and myself.

Simply~

Dee

It is so funny reading people’s Instagram and Facebook and even Twitter-bouncing from heaven to hell…

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I will admit that I am a Christian woman with a sometimes awful potty mouth. I do not claim to be perfect. But I also don’t have a meme or post praising Jesus one moment, and the next minute having one talking about going to a strip club. Some of the women that I know on social media (Very few) are such nasty talkers or just low class in their choice of words at times, but at other times they are quoting C.S. Lewis.

I know that we all have somewhat “schizo” personalities. Even people that are not diagnosed with a serious personality or mental disorder can change like the wind. As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I can go from one extreme to another with my feelings. But to be super holy one day and super sinful the next day is not having varying emotions. It is just plain crazy (IMHO). I keep talking about how I am trying to not judge, but is calling out people’s erratic behavior on social media judging, or just telling it like it is?

I have a friend/trend who gets on there with all of this kumbayah stuff and all of these posts about light and love and then she’s like-“Who is in for a Vegas girls trip?” Now we all not good and dang well that a Vegas trip spells nothing but trouble with a group of women who are either sex-starved or looking hungrily for a man. Believe me, these women are. I guess that I am saying that even though I have many sides to me (mom, daughter, friend, professional, seductress:), woman, child of God, hopeless romantic) I think that they are all pretty much in the middle. Maybe that’s not a good thing. Maybe I need to be a warrior for Christ and need to know every scripture. Maybe I need to be a serial-dater and have all of the men when my kid is away with friends. Perhaps I should work 60 hour weeks so that I could have more income. Okay, maybe the first one is okay to do:)

But seriously, are people super big time fakers on social media? Are they seeking attention? Are they wanting responses? I know that I write on here for responses sometimes. The same thing with Facebook or Instagram. Sometimes, we all just want to be heard and acknowledged. But I think that people need to be real with themselves and decide who they really are. Because we can not serve heaven and hell all at the same time. It is okay to have fun in life and to be human. No one is perfect except of course Jesus Christ. But no one will take us seriously if we are so extreme with our behavior that it makes no sense to not even ourselves.

Be true to you. Put things out there that you are proud of. If you are proud that you are going to a strip club, put it out there. If you are proud of your kid, let it be known. If you are a woman of God, show it. If you are the biggest heathen on earth, I don’t encourage that, but it is who you are. I think people can change and are fickle like me, but changing from a whore to a housewife five minutes between posts is not at all possible. Be real. Be you, If people do not like you for who you are, then that is their issue. I mean we all have things that we have to reel in, in order to not offend. I can’t tell people all of the time exactly what I would like to because it will hurt them. But I am certainly not being fake by using discernment.

I think that is the perfect word. Discernment. It is a word that many people this day and age do not even consider. Before we do anything, we need to always use good judgment and if it is something that is big or  important, I ask for God’s discernment because I am not all-knowing and certainly need all the help that I can get when it comes to making wise choices. I think that we all do.

Moral of story. Be you. Be authentic. Think  before you speak or post. Use wisdom. Ask for God’s help. Actually listen to what God, i.e., your intuition is telling you to do and do that.

Happy almost end of the work week! One more day for most, but I am off until Tuesday!!

Simply~

Dee