Nice: a sad, absurd word

I’ve always believed NICE to be a valuable attribute

Going over hill and dale to show people I care

Holding doors, assisting others, smiles and laughs

But reward is little and the pain is huge

Losing my cool and putting down my foot

‘Tis merely a result of consternation or hurt

Happy-go-lucky, a label I have gladly worn

Over time has become tattered and torn

Not even sure if nice fits any longer, it’s so misshapen and worn

Tossing and turning through questions of who I am

Merely reveals my weakness and desire to please

I long to change, to be lackadaisical, carefree

The type of person that many hope to be

Not this small, skeletal version of my true self

An overall naivete that people are inherently good

A pattern repeated more than the hairs on my head

I want to be untrusting and cold

Only looking out for self and gain

But the Godly part inside won’t relent

This half lamb/wolf persona ends on a sad note

I sharpen my teeth, toughen up, yet I slip from grace

Meanwhile, true wolves escape triumphant, once again

I walk with hat in hands, head bowed in defeat

No matter how victorious I feel, I know losing is on my horizon

Still I muster up courage to face another morn

Smile plastered on, affirmations on my tongue’s tip

By afternoon’s crest, I feel surrender yet again

The battle far from over, a war that I probably will never win

~Simply

Dee

Copyright July 10th, 2019

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3 Comments

  1. This reminds me of what we talked about when I told you about a falling out with a friend of mine. I can’t remember your exact words but it made me feel better about it. Validated what I was feeling. It was along these lines that maybe I’ve been too nice and just going with whatever bs but that I was probably just tired of it now. I think you’re totally right. I still feel bad though that a long friendship might have ended but it’s probably for the best.

    Liked by 1 person

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