So, after my gloomy and doomy post, I have a more Deeish disposition to share today. I feel like a different person!
I think between having a sinus and ear infection and my usual bout of thyroid issues, that is why I was so gloom and doom. After 10 days of antibiotics I am iut of the funk. I don’t think that they provide miracles, but feel a lot better! I definitely have my moments, but for the most part I am a very happy and positive person and I’m very thankful for everyday I wake up.
Do you find as you get older that you’re just so happy that you’re still here? I am so glad to be here no doubt! And even though I wish I were younger and had done some of the things that I’ve done now at a younger age, I’ve made it to my fourth decade of life. And that my friend is a feat in itself!
Rather than look at what I shoulda/coulda done and how much time I don’t have, I truly feel blessed 99.9% of the time. I think some times holidays and a time of change or time that represents something symbolic can often put us in a funk (New Years, a birthday, etc). At least that is true for many of us.
I hate the guilt that comes along with me complaining about superficial and silly things though. Because even though I may lack a lot compared to the super wealthy and accomplished around me in the DC area, I have more things to be grateful for both material and non material than many people around the world.
And you know what I have that makes me richer than the most affluent? Joy, love and happiness. Of course my job pisses me off and the scores of rude and clueless drivers around here. It is not like I am Snow White singing when I wake and enchanting the neighborhood wildlife.
But what/who I am is: someone who smiles at others and speaks when I am face to face with them. I make small talk to the grocery clerk. I feed the squirrels and the birds (so maybe a little Snow Whitish?) and care for all animals. I just try to practice kindness and compassion to all whom I meet whether they have a fin or tail or in between:).
On the flip, I yell at my kid and bitch about a client and want to stay under the covers most of the work week. But the important take away is though I am human, I am more of the friendly and harmonious person than the latter grumpy curmudgeon. I embrace and enjoy and laugh more than I curse and get angry and act not so kind (unless in traffic).
The moral of the story, it is fine to blog or talk or pray about things that aren’t so pleasant. It is necessary to eliminate things from our bodies and hearts and minds that are not negative or pure. But it is more important to be mindful of all of the things that are good and the fact that we are able to read and write and experience any of these emotions on any given day. That is the true gift. That shiny and beautiful chance to start anew every day.