So, we have all been there. We have heard a friend, co-worker or even stranger talk about an upcoming trip or house they purchased and felt a twinge of envy. It is one of the deadly sins so you would think that it would be logic to not be envious. But that list of sins is not there because it is easy, but because they are major obstacles that people go through that are hard to overcome.
Many of you may know or may not, but I’m that happy-go-lucky person, the one that speaks to everyone in the coffee shop and at the grocery store and never meets a stranger. But I’m also the person that has constantly busted her butt, but feels like she hasn’t “arrived” yet. I’ve been saying that lately and I probably should not, but I feel like financial issues are my cross to bear. I know, I know, it is not speaking out positively and having the right mindset. But the more I try, the more I feel like I I’m simply treading water.
I digress. I spoke with 3 different friends the other day and every single one of them was talking about things that made me want to roll my eyes as they were speaking. One was talking about her multiple vacations, the other was discussing things they were doing to their home and her many mini-trips, and the other was elaborating on her dire need for a manicure and pedicure and all of the events she was attending. As I was going through a week of delivering food, pet sitting and taking care of kids, I couldn’t help but feel jealous and a little angry.
So what should a girl with a slight tint of teal do while downing her protein shake on the way to gig 3 of the day? This is something I am trying. Maybe you can too if you feel less than successful, together or if you aren’t at peace with where you are in life.
Find a REAL Way to Change Things
Apply to jobs constantly, Work on skills related to talent/experience as often as possible, Don’t let a day go by without working towards improving said situation
Seek Advice from Those Who Have it “Going On”
Join a group on Facebook run by a fave influencer, Read books by people who have made it (and take notes!), Approach an admired person (within reach) and ask if they would mentor you
Change your Social Circle (This is huge!)
This part is a little tricky because I don’t mean that we need to cut people out of our lives per se. But, if you’re hanging around people who aren’t doing anything and are content with being complacent, then you might want to expand your Friendship Circle. Or, if you hang around a bunch of rich people, it can be a motivator so that you can strive to be better. But it can also be a hindrance if they can in no way relate to your situation, it can be frustrating, especially if they aren’t responsible for their own success (what I am dealing with). We need to be around people who have made it by hard work in order to be motivated to be better versions of ourselves (imho). Basically, use discernment here. Don’t dump friends that aren’t totally together to hang around people who have a lot that didn’t work for it. But try to be around people that have similar goals and they’re doing what they can to improve themselves or people who have similar interests and talents and are where you want to be and can lead you down the path through their experiences.
Have Undying Faith that YOU too Will Achieve Your Dreams!
Every single day, wake up believing that this day will be better than the day before. This is tough when you have multiple jobs or are struggling to meet your goals or pay your bills and you are just exhausted from it all. But I am the poster child of someone who (mostly) has a positive outlook no matter what. I say mostly, because the other day when the green monster reared its ugly head, I was clearly not thinking in a way that was conducive to making good things happen for myself. It is a complete waste of time to get upset at friends’ good fortune. It put me into a mini negative spiral of self-doubt, finger pointing and blame. And most of the negativity was directed towards myself, which is never helpful.
So the moral of the story is, you can have moments where you’re jealous or upset because of your circumstance compared to how others live. You can have a pity party for 30 minutes. But then, YOU (we) put on grown-up underwear and get over it. Because do people who have really succeeded (Bill Gates,Steve Jobs) probably did not spend a lot of their time pouting and complaining. They believed in themselves and had faith that what they had to bring to the table was valuable. The more time wasted on anger and disappointment, is less time directed towards creating or realizing something amazing within ourselves.
Please share with me how you have made it in your field or have accomplished your goals, or what you’re doing to get there.