I really am not like anyone that I know. Not at all. I am a single parent. I don’t work a traditional job, and I don’t act exactly my age whatever that means. I can literally have as much fun having a conversation with a 22 year old as I can with a 40 year old. I enjoy life everyday even with little annoyances and though I don’t have the material trappings of many of my peers, I am happy in my unconventional lifestyle for the most part.
I think that romance would be the missing link if anything. Being early 40’s for me, means that I still have the desire to have a relationship. I still feel and look young and haven’t totally given up on my life as an individual. So many people I know that are my age are either still partying which is weird and kind of lame to me. Or, they have given up on being their own person. They are their job. Or a wife. Or a mom. They aren’t (insert name) anymore.
Some say I am a free spirit. I wouldn’t really say that. I mean I am not typical or predictable or easy to put into a box. But I am not a “hippie type” either. I have deduced that I unequivocally dance to the beat of my own drum and that is just me. I wish I could be Stepfordesque and blend into the whole Washington D.C. social scene and be a trophy wife. At least sometimes I do, but it’s just not me. I don’t know how to be anything but truthful and real and an individual.
I guess that is a good thing, but in this bubble of the rich and privileged and hyper-career focused people, it doesn’t feel good a lot of the time. I honestly feel like a black sheep when I am having cocktail conversation. You know, the whole: “What do you do for a living?” “What does your husband do?” Then I have to say: “Well, I am no longer married and I am a single mom and I do multiple things.” Then I lose them. Immediately, unless they are interested in a romantic pursuit, which isn’t often the case because it feels like everyone and their uncle is attached here.
So, I go on and do my own thing and am honestly with my daughter most of the time and don’t hang out with friends hardly ever. It’s not that I don’t want to, but we are at different stages. Or we have different schedules, or they just never want to do anything without their husbands. I am pretty okay with it 99.9 percent of the time, but when I am not, I feel like the biggest loser ever. But, it doesn’t encourage me to change into a clone and be like them. I just have too much joy and love and excitement to spread to stay down or to try to conform.
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