Monthly Archives: June 2015

So, I forgot how much I loved rainstorms until now…

Posted on by
Reply

So, I read a chapter of Harry Potter to my daughter along with a Psalm and she went to bed after 11 which is way too late. But it was perfect timing. I fixed myself and kale stir-fry snack with almonds, and as soon as I sat down to watch Gilmore Girls, the thunderstorm started. People that are from the midwest and out west, often freak out when there are major thunderstorms, but us East Coasters can relate to them and some of us even feel at ease when they start up.

Rain is one of my favorite things ever. Besides, chocolate and Sound of Music and my kid and love and Seinfeld and cats (do not worry, I will not start singing Favorite Things). For me, rain is a chilling out period. The soothing sound makes me want to grab a book out of the large stack of books to read and read all day. When it is hot, it nourishes everything and refreshes. At night, it is so nice to open the patio door and have the ceiling fans on and just listen and snuggle up under a summer throw. It is almost the same effect for me as it is when I listen to waves crash. Nothing can replace the feeling I get when I hear the sounds of the beach, but rain is a close 2nd. Once I ran around half-dressed with a boyfriend late at night as a joke/dare. I have stamped in it, and splashed in it and danced in it. The rain is cathartic for me on an uneventful Saturday night, or at any time.

Maybe I am in the minority in being a lover of precipitation, but if you don’t light up when the wet stuff drops out of the sky, give it another chance. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, pray or meditate and soak it up (not literally-haha). Take out a journal, or a recorder or your laptop and write or speak your thoughts or just be still. Take time to realize what a blessing and a gift it is, rather than a slippery hindrance. It is all about perspective my friends.

Simply~

Dee

Cover photo courtesy of picjumbo.com

So, I am an awesome mom and love being a mom, but hate being a grownup!

Posted on by
Reply

I have been sick for the last week or so, and then “Aunt Flo” came to town, so I have not felt like doing anything and haven’t that much for a week and a half but rested and binge watched Gilmore Girls and make meals. I haven’t done much more. My kid has played this Nat Geo online game and watched tons of Netflix and finished her year-end work for her school and basically entertained herself. This doesn’t happen often. I usually entertain her every second of the day almost unless a kid is over here to play. But when I am sick, I really take advantage of sleep. I take advantage of doing selfish things like watching shows that are not for kids and that are just for me. I didn’t have a real Mother’s Day because my daughter had a sleepover the night before at our place with castmates from her play, and then all of Mother’s Day was dedicated to church, prepping for the play and then performing and then getting home around dinner time. So, even though I feel really guilty about leaving her in the living room while I watch my iPad for hours on and snoozing, it makes me realize how much being a grown up kind of sucks. I mean my daughter is the only part that is fun. But, budgeting and worrying and planning and providing is really stressful. I wish I were ridiculously wealthy so that she and I could lie in bed all day long and read Harry Potter and watch movies and forego the grown up garbage. I mean I don’t mind cooking for her and washing her clothes, but I would love to have the carefree feeling I had as a kid or even as a teenager. But, I am assuming that the carefree attitude would not equate to good parenting. I guess I am rambling here, but one can only dream. Being a mother, without grown up issues! How lovely does that sound? Like eating clouds made of cotton candy and having gumdrops fall out of the sky:)

Good night…

Simply~

Dee

So, are some of us unlucky in relationships/friendships, or am I being tested over and over and over again?

Posted on by
Reply

So, I feel like myself and my daughter and myself are both the type of people who give and give and take very little, and we are almost always taken for granted. For instance, one of my best friends and my god-daughter came into town on a horribly busy weekend and stayed for 5 nights. During that crazy time, we had a dress rehearsal and 2 weddings, and I still tried to keep them happy and occupied. They were sick and didn’t feel like doing a lot, and I got very little sleep, but I hung in there and cooked and planned like a happy hostess. Now they have been gone for almost 2 weeks and we called and called to check on them and my daughter found out through an educational game that they play online together that their phone is acting wonky. But they could have called us from another number, or they could have Facetimed us or something. Though they are loving and always remember every occasion and root for us so much of the time, they are around when they feel like it. When I told them via voicemail and email about my daughter’s commercial, they didn’t call us or email us for a month because they were “busy”. But, they emailed all of their friends and called them to tell them about it. They also received my daughter’s video that they ordered in the mail that is 2 hours long from a big performance she did in the fall, and watched that but didn’t have not one smidgen of extra time to communicate to tell us that.

This may sound petty or like I am being too sensitive, but I get sick of people just assuming that we will always be available. It’s like they can be completely selfish or rude by ignoring us and when they are ready to “deal” with us, then we are supposed to be ready and willing to talk and deal with them. I don’t know how to be unavailable to friends or men or anyone that I deal with. Because the truth is, the people that I deal with I consider friends or loved ones, and I am not into games with people that are supposed to be dear to me. It’s like I have all forms of dysfunction in the form of people that I call friends. I have never been good in the man department either, so that is why I haven’t dated for the almost 6 years I have been apart from ex-husband, except for dates that I went on just for dinner, knowing they wouldn’t go further because I suck at choosing!! I wonder if because I complain about these people, but still continue to deal with them (not the friends I mentioned, but friends in general), maybe I get what I deserve? One of my friends in the past said that I take in all of the strays. Perhaps they are right?!! Bad childhood, anxiety issues, super selfish, not dependable??? Well, call me and I will take you in and take on all of your baggage and then wonder why like a dizzy blonde (I am blonde) that these people aren’t all that I expect in a friend.

I do have a few good friends, but for some crazy reason, the people who I call best friends have the most issues. Or, they aren’t the friend to me that I am to them. I know people have different backgrounds and experiences and I have to take that into consideration. But I am human and I have feelings and I don’t want to put up with whatever people dish out. I want my close friends to return my call in a timely manner or be there the way that I am for them. I want people in my life that I can depend on all of the time, not just one they are over their funk and moods. So, do I get rid of the people in my life that are abnormal and annoying and not around all of the time, or do I continue to put up with their slack a–es and grin and bear it? That is perhaps why this cycle is continuing because I keep complaining, yet keep dealing with it. A therapist would probably say that I am co-dependent, or have self esteem issues. I don’t think it is either one. I think that I want the whole Golden Rule thing, “Do unto others…”.

I think that perhaps I will pray for God to bring “normal” and decent people into our lives that have our backs on rainy days as well as sunny. This whole fair-weather friend thing is for the birds. I don’t want to give up on new friendships or men in my life, but it is so hard to trust others! Remind me to tell you all about some of the other shady stories about men and friends, it will be a lot more than 800 some odd words. Trust me!:)

Simply~

Dee

So, I have been gone forever from here and I should be ashamed!!!

Posted on by
Reply

So, there has been a play that my kid was in that took up all of our time. She is filming an independent film this weekend, she is in another play this summer, we have had weddings, and guests galore for 2 months! How have you guys been? I have been doing my part-time office manager job from home, and shuttling kids around and just living life.

Something amazing! I have lost 20 lbs from April 20th up until June 7th. I eat 5 times a day, and drink 100 oz of water a day and workout 3 days a week. I really need to up my working out game to 5 days a week, but we have been swamped! We had 21 nights and 22 days of guests.

So, I am back. A lot has happened in the world.  A lot of protests against police, too much lienency towards Iran, a cool and courageous go rode a bikecopter to deliver letters to the sorry senators, a crazy jealous stage mom trying to sabotage myself and my kid, planning for my kids next birthday which is going to be huge, (6 mos away) and we went to Disney!

There is no real excuse for me not being on here, except being so preoccupied with everything and not focusing enough time on my interests. Do you ever find yourself doing things for everyone else, but not spending much time on yourself because you are too spent at the end of the day? I am so bad about not taking even 30 minutes a day to pray or write, or just be still. I’m not really complaining though because I love this time of my life with my daughter. When she is grown, I will have all of the time in the world to be alone with my thoughts, my writing, and my books.

Good night, and enjoy every moment of life with the people who you love because life is fleeting.

Simply~

Dee:)