Monthly Archives: April 2015

So, baby steps may not be what we want to take, but they can really lead somewhere…

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Someone said to my kid today that all of the things she is doing for acting are baby steps and to be patient, they would all lead to something big one day. I never really thought of it that way, but it is so true. Her performance at  Strathmore and GW and her current production are great experiences and resume builders if she wants to continue acting, which she does. I didn’t tell this guy that she did a commercial for 2 weeks ago and that she is in a web series and will film an independent film in June. I don’t want to tell everyone that we know all that she is doing because they will only think that we are bragging, or try to be in close company with us for the wrong reasons, or just because they are plain jealous.

Nevertheless, no matter how big or small things are that we do, they lead somewhere. This can work in a negative sense as well. If someone has had a few arrests and a couple of drug charges, they are probably taking baby steps into the prison system. I started thinking of this as I watched the video of the mom in Baltimore beating down her son in the streets for participating in the looting. I am sure that when she went through the pains of labor, which led to her raising him as a little boy she did not think that those steps would lead her to the scene in the streets of Baltimore yesterday.

Though God’s will is for real, God gives us free will. He allows us to do things that may or may not be good for us, hoping that somewhere along the way we will turn to him for guidance and discernment. I can admit, that I have made a lot of bad decisions in the past and have not always turned to God. Heck, now I do things and do not even once pray to God before, or speak to God about what I am going to do. I am so used to doing things my way because I feel that I do not have many people to lean on. I used to even have this guilt for turning to God with my problems because I didn’t feel like I was living up to expectations that HE had for me. Silly I know, but it was hard to ask for help when I felt undeserving.

My whole post started out to be about my daughter’s acting and parlayed into wrong steps that people make in their lives. I guess subconsciously, I know that I have had so many chances and opportunities that I myself have screwed up and if I had taken steps in a different direction or had stronger faith in GOD, then I would be in a different place. But then I wonder if taking baby steps backward can actually be good for us. If we always took the right baby steps to the perfect situation and destination, then would any of us appreciate it or have humility? Would we appreciate God’s wonderful and beautiful grace?

I have a long way to go to get to where I want to be and I think that if I took as many well-thought out and prayerful steps for myself as I do for my daughter I would be a great success! But because my daughter is the center of my world, the steps I take will be slow and small, but I am looking forward to seeing where they will take me…

Simply~

Dee

So, I broke up with cable again. Gave it the boot and told it “Sayonora”

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It took me a few weeks to get the junk tv aka reality tv out of my system knowing I would be turning the cable box in. I really got attached to flipping through meaningless tv as a downtime activity for myself. Well, I lost one of my gigs which equaled to around 600-750 a month. Until I get another gig or more substantial income, the sensible and respectable thing to do is to cut costs. Cable is just not a necessity. I mean in today’s world of Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Instant Video all streaming through my Wi or laptop or phone or iPad, I can watch a plethora of QUALITY programming and not miss out on much.

Well, though I have paid my PayPal Credit down substantially, I decided to buy an antenna through one of the eBay electronic stores. Before you get visions of rabbit ears stuck in your mind, it is not like that at all. The new antennas could double for some sleek modern art, or a super anorexic router. It’s this molded piece of plastic that you can stick pretty much anywhere you like. Since I hooked it up last night, it is currently on top of the curtain rod because that is where it seemed to get the best reception.

Currently, I only get NBC, Antenna TV (funnily enough), CCTV and a few channels related to news in Asian and African countries. I am not thrilled with the selection, but it is kind of nice to have a national network to watch the news or a current tv show or sporting event. I am hoping eventually it will pick up more channels. I got the 50-mile radius one so that I could pick up D.C. and Baltimore, hoping that would give me a lot of channels. If I had only purchased the 30-mile radius one, I may not have as many channels as I do, so I am grateful for the one I purchased.

I will have to admit that going from cable to no cable is a great leap. This is my 3rd time doing it, but it doesn’t get easier each time. But I can tell you one thing, I am reading and using my time more wisely now. I have already checked my work emails, typed this, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher and had breakfast. If I had cable, I probably would have only eaten breakfast.

Think about losing cable. As long as you have the internet, the streaming providers like Hulu and Netflix really do offer stellar programming and with Hulu, you can see the show you missed the next morning. Look at it this way, unlike breaking up with a person, you can easily get cable back if you just can’t live without it!

Have a Happy Hump day and Earth Day!

Simply~

Dee

So, a fake stage mom called my daughter a bully…

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This is so laughable. She is jealous of my daughter’s talent. She is trying to make her daughter and star and her daughter isn’t actress material. It is so sad and so pathetic and I can’t believe parents put their children through all of this crap. If my daughter did not love it, I sure as heck wouldn’t drive to rehearsal 5 days a week. We spend 15 or more hours there a week and this play is only community theater. If this mom is pissed because my daughter won’t let her kid stand in front of her when she’s not supposed to be there or when my daughter refuses to be pushed around, how would she act if this were a Broadway production? Stage moms are freaking crazy!!!

My sleep is all out of sorts, so of course I am online thinking.

Tonight’s thoughts: I would rather be blunt and real and honest with myself and others than speak in sugary tones and tell people what they want to hear in order to get ahead. I would rather gain things by merit and talent than coerce people by compliments that are empty. I am teaching my daughter the same thing. I learned it from my mom and for that I am proud. I can’t be fake and I don’t want to be. I have had to tone my opinions and attitudes down over the years because it is part of growing up and also because I don’t want to be overly hurtful or cruel to people. But I am glad that I learned the balance of treating everyone with kindness while at the same time not allowing people to treat me like a doormat.

My daughter has adopted this tendency and as a female, being outspoken and taking up for yourself is frowned upon. Wasn’t it Beyonce that did not want to hear the word bossy anymore? When it’s a girl taking a stand, she is being unreasonable or even a “bully”. But when it is a guy, it is merely taking control or just being a guy. On a website about banning bossy, this was a quote: “I’m not bossy. I’m the boss.” I have always called my kid a CEO as a joke because she has always been so self-assured and confident. I am proud of that, just like all of you should be proud of whatever personality your child has developed as long as they are respectful and kind and treat people with decency. So, because of all of the drama some of the mom’s have started about myself and my kid, I decided to write about it. (By the way, did I mention that my kid filmed a commercial for a national network last week? Stage mom found out, and everything went downhill since Wednesday, including our “friendship.”)

The most important thing is to be true to yourself and to teach that to children whether you are a parent, a God parent, an aunt/uncle. The worst thing to do is to teach a child that they are always right, that they are never to be accountable for their actions, and that everything that does not go their way is always someone else’s fault. I think one of the biggest problems with this generation is that their parents say yes to them all of the time and this creates children who are utterly devastated when other people call them out on their mistakes or heaven forbid-say no to them. My kid gets in trouble, my kid admits to her mistakes, and she knows she is not perfect. Parents are not doing themselves or anyone else a favor by sugar coating their kids lives. I may be a home school parent, but thank God I protect and love my child without being a micro-managing helicopter parent.

It’s so funny, as I type this, I feel some of the words my mother has said to me over the years appear on the screen. Have a blessed and happy Monday and work week and live your life out loud no matter what people may say. There will always be naysayers. Stay positive and pray, no matter how hard it may be. (Tough, I know)

So, there is a mom in my daughter’s play who is so delusional that she thinks my kid is a bully!

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Have you ever seen a kid who gets along with everyone and smiles and laughs and has tons of friends and rarely complains? My kid. Not joke. I am the polar opposite. I am kidding! Sort of! No seriously, she is a much better version of me. I used to be just like her. I was trusting and loving and interested in having tons of friends and never met a stranger. Now I am still friendly to people and kind to everyone, but I can go off in a snap if someone is ugly to me, or to defend myself or my child. Maybe it is a mother hen thing?

So, long story short, I have an easy going kid. She is sweet and fun and super smart and rarely has problems with anyone. Enter, someone who feels she is competition. This person is less mature and less experienced in acting and in a lot. She is sweet enough, but her mom has poisoned her mind to feel that if my kid is standing in front of hers that it is a bad thing. The director has my daughter in the front a lot because she listens and takes direction well and KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING.:)

This woman gets visibly angry if she feels that her kid is being upstaged. She is somewhat of a friend, so it is tough. But Saturday during a performance, she said why is your daughter standing in front of mine? She wasn’t there yesterday. The reason for that is, the day before her daughter didn’t think that she was in a good position to be seen, so she just moved. She doesn’t care that it is a play. It’s like: “If I am not seen, then I will fix it.” What makes it bad is that they do subtle things that the director may not notice and her mom says subtle things, but she is not bold enough to really confront the issue. So, instead her mom tells her daughter that my kid is a bully and not to let that happen.

If it wasn’t so funny, it would be too sad to type. If everyone in the play was asked to point out a bully, my kid would be at the bottom of the list. How does one deal with such a mom? Is this the definition of a stage mom? If the location of the play was closer, I would come home and do things and pick my kid up to get away from the drama of it all. I made my ex go and take her tonight so I didn’t have to see or deal with it.

In the scheme of world issues, this is nothing. But in the scheme of my life, it bothers me that people are so crazy and jealous and obsessed like this. It is scary that there are people like this walking around pretending to be so sweet and kind and Godly and they have other motives. Please pray for me that I can shake this crap off because this kind of thing really does bother me. I absolutely hate it. I am just saying to myself: “Eight more rehearsals”. When the play comes along, I will be volunteering and busy and can overlook this crap a bit.

As my late, great grandmother said-ANYWAY…

Simply~

Dee

So, I took the whole words Spring Cleaning to a whole new level!!

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I got antsy last night because my daughter had a play date/sleepover with a bestie and I did not make any plans because my mom friends never want to do anything.:) Truth be told, I didn’t want to either. So, I spent hours upon hours getting rid of clothing and books that I have not touched in ages. The sad thing is, I get rid of things ALL of the time. But I have never deeply purged things like I did last night. I took pics of books I got rid of and I am going to write them down in case I wanted to refer to them again, and of course I kept ones that mean a lot like Harry Potter, books on writing, some Christian self-help or inspirational books and some British chick-lit. But it felt so good to let that stuff go. I feel like my mind is uncluttered in the process. I am the kind of person that cannot go to a thrift store, or be in a scattered kind of environment. I don’t have anything against getting things for less, I just don’t find places with things all over the place visually appealing. I think that was happening here too. Too much stuff to look at, and I use a fraction of it. I honestly can probably go through and do another purging, but I am going to give it about a week and marinate on it to decide if I really need to get rid of more, or if I am just going overboard. If you feel weighted down in life by anything, a relationship or job or lack thereof, of course God is the best source. But I think that getting rid of excess material things is a blessing as well because it provides items for people that are without and can make one feel lighter in material items and mentally.

Have a blessed and prosperous Thursday!

Simply~

Dee

Jesus in disguise

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This is just beautiful and so real…

Man of many thoughts's avatarkeithgarrettpoetry

Around the park i stroll, my eyes taking in the happy and sad,

The fortunate and down and out are mixed together as strangers.

Who will care for or about the ones that wander hopelessly about,

As for those whose lives are full of love and homes to walk into

It’s easy to forget and pretend they don’t exist out there hungry.

Is it possible that while i do walk around and observe this horror

That’s plagued our world for as long as we’ve existed that there

May be that one soul who approaches us and asks for a dollar or

Help and we have no idea that this was a test, Jesus in disguise.

Our chance to do or don’t may just add a tear or smile to such a

love and peace starved land, Something to think upon,

What if it was he, might it be, Jesus in…

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So, my daughter is innocent and kind so how did she hear the word slut?

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I have to confess, I watch a lot of the Real Housewives garbage as a way to chill outand veg. My kid is usually never in hearing range or she is asleep or playing with a friend. I think the other day she was around for a bit because my mom and I were watching it when she was visiting. I told my daughter today that slut was a very bad word and she said that she didn’t know that. I think that she thought it was akin to jerk, which isn’t nice, but isn’t a forbidden word. She referred to the trash guy as a slut for spilling litter everywhere. I almost lost it when she said it. I was super shocked.

I was appalled, but quickly realized that the show I watch is not Godly, just like the music that she wants to hear I have to change the station on is too risqué. All of these little worldly things sneak in and get into our spirit. It is like we become so desensitized to it because we are so used to all of the garbage. My daughter said she doesn’t know where she heard it, and if I protect her as much as I do and she knows some unpleasant words, think about kids who don’t have parents that set parameters.

It saddens me how fast these kids are growing up and though I can’t protect her from the vile stuff forever, I will keep her young as long as I can. She still believes in Santa and still plays with dolls, but she goes to rehearsal and hears the words sexual harassment from another kid.

We as adults have many years to be exposed to this junk, so I think kids should get to be kids as long as they possibly can. Well, these are just my thoughts. Do you all feel like filth is everywhere, or am I just getting old?

Simply~

Dee