So, when doing my little ole podcast today (Unabashedly Dee), I talked about balance. Balance between being a people pleaser and not caring at all what people think. Because let’s face it. Both extremes are not good.

Who wants to be seen as a doormat? Or who wants to be the type of person who lacks empathy? Is it possible after all of life’s punches and bruises to be somewhere in between?

I would like to think that we can be both. Uncaring about what people think about us and our decisions, when it comes to who we love or what we do for a living. As long as we don’t hurt others, who cares? Yet, still have the ability to see the point of view or hear other people’s perspectives and care about their feelings.

I started speaking on this and am now writing on this because it has been a pattern for me to try and show people my worth by different things I do. If I have unpleasant words with someone I love (which happens when people are close), then I bend over backward afterward to show I am really kind and good. As if one argument could throw away my relationship with that person. That is a sign of lacking something when I was younger or feeling like I was not worthy at different points in my life. And though I feel like I am now, self-doubt trickles in from time to time. Old habits die hard and old wounds heal slowly.

And then I have gone to the extreme of “not caring” anymore and cutting people off, like a bad driver in New Jersey or something. The whole ‘I am gonna hurt you before you hurt me’ defense. Or simply escaping conflict because it is the “easy way” out. Therefore, not healing that confused and scared inner child. Which in turn builds up more walls and resentment and makes me look for reasons not to trust people after a few slights that they may not even recognize as wrong.

Luckily, I have never been sociopathic enough to lack the ability to empathize. Nor have I stayed in a terribly abusive relationship with friends or family or loves for a long time. I have set boundaries at some point. So I have not been on the true extremes of unhealthy behavior, but I have teetered near the edges here and there because I was just so over wrought with daddy issues and honestly emotionally spent.

I recognize that this is a heavy post for late at night on a Thursday, and the podcast did not go this deep, but these are my feelings. And if I have been nothing else in life, I been truthful and full of integrity. Whether people like it or not. So why change now?

Anyhow, please listen and subscribe to my podcast for more on this topic:

Thanks for reading. Have a beautiful day.

~Simply

Dee