So, mom got sick. I tried the best doctors and took her to one of the best hospitals on the east coast and she passed away in May because she was too ill by the time I found out in January.
I has to fight every step to get all of the things given to myself and my daughter because of my terrible stepfather. And there was an issue about my daughter’s inheritance that significantly reduced it by 99 percent.
It took me 3 months to get a job after all of this and I love it but it doesn’t pay enough. So I am working part time.
Then the whole school thing. My teen hasn’t been in school but 3 times since March. Her freshman year wasn’t finished because if covid. And now her sophomore year is beyond repair it seems.
So I spend every waking moment trying to get her back into school and to get the schools open. And that isn’t an understatement. It is criminal what is happening to our kids especially high school.
That has been my life. I had to say out loud today I am thankful to be alive. I have been so overwhelmed by so much bad news and unhappiness that I can’t approach things the same way.
I tried to write many times but stopped short because I couldn’t either be eloquent or just put any words down. I am hoping that whomever is reading cannot relate. If you can though, please know you are not alone.
It is hard to climb out of a hole like this. It is damn near impossible to find the beauty in every day life. But there are things that can help. We all need to find out what those little feel good things are for us individually.
Feel Good Activities for me:
Take a bath with lavender
Watch a Nancy Meyers film
Eat an Italian sub
Write in ink into a notebook
Buy a present for a loved one
Be around animals
Read a book set in Europe
Spend time with my kid and best guy
Check my credit (crazy but true)
These may not be anywhere near what makes you feel happy or whole or better. But they are just an example as to how we can do very simple things every day to improve our mood. Make your own list!
Though I miss my mom with every ounce of my being, I can’t stop my life and stop nurturing the ones who are dear to my heart. I am sure some of you are facing or have faced something similar. Especially with the terrible year that 2020 is, it is overwhelming.
But we got this. We can do it. It takes one step. One smile. A positive thought and a tiny action to improve our situations.
We all can make it to the next step, the next challenge, the next day. It is arduous at times and seems like defeat is at every single turn.
But we are stronger than we think. And when we don’t think we are, we have to keep on as if we are warriors even when we feel like getting in the fetal position under the covers with the lights out.
You. Are. Not. Alone. Life. Is. Good. It. Will. Get. Better.
2 thoughts on “So, I’ve been gone too long and it’s complicated”
I am sorry for all you have been and are going through. I love the message in this post, that we are strong and can weather anything. Life does get better and we can still find things to be grateful for.
I love your “feel good activities” list. Making lists put me in a better mood immediately, be it a gratitude list or a to do list.
Please continue writing, you never know who will need to read your words 🙂
Blessings to you! ♥♥
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Bless you too friend. Enjoying catching up on blogs like yours!!
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