I want my life to have meaning

To be one whom others admire

Creating warm and fuzzy in a cold world

But through daily life I stumble

I fall short in patience and temper

I loathe and get annoyed

Often laughing, smiling and trying

Though people make good intentions hard to follow

I start every day with a smile and hop in my step

Often doggedly dragging myself home

Once in my abode, the happy creeps in

But this space contains all I truly love

The few allowed in are valued and enamored

Rarely are those invited who bring no joy

Miraclemakers are those who continue their exuberance

In any circumstance or at any place

I too desire to be that angelic

To leave people more pleased

It is a life mission of mine

The rub is, people are complex

God says to love thy enemy

‘Tis so unpleasant to do

And often to the dissatisfaction of everyone

My jaded heart looks for good

But this impermeable shell can’t quite let go

My spirit is genuinely inviting

But not much further than surface

Because the outside protects

That seems to be the secret to it all

Putting on a facade with people at arms length

Saying kind things

Not extending oneself beyond words

Maybe I can try that

But I am to much of a purist to lie

So there is the dilemma

Being real is my greatest downfall…

simply~

Dee

copyright January 5, 2019