Monthly Archives: January 2016

So, this year is -$$, travel, and fit body!!

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Planning to rent a car to drive down south for spring break because plane tix are twice the price during spring break. Going to the beach somewhere for 5 days with my kiddo and I am going to Vegas for a wedding in October-I may have mentioned Vegas. So, this may not be major travel to some and I am not going abroad, but I am quite excited about these trips!

I haven’t seen one of my friends in 20 plus years, since I was a teen and will see her this year! I am going to meet her in Savannah in the spring and Vegas in the fall! I feel like though we have not seen each other in so long, that we are still so connected and have so much in common. The older I get, the things that are most important to me are connections to loved ones (besides faith).

I am totally excited about destinations new and old this year, and about gorgeous scenery and gorgeous hotel rooms. But seeing those that I have history with and celebrating with them is just as exciting as going to Paris-maybe;). But though I am ready to let loose and let my hair down and wear some fabulous clothes, I am ready to find some of that old fun spirit that is hidden underneath my ‘momness’.

I am counting portions, doing my 21 Day Fix work out and taking care of my body. I am working on my spirit and attitude as well and trying to get my finances in order. And for the first time since being a mom, I am not going to worry about money when I travel. I will also feel confident because I am going to get into the best shape of my adult life. I hope that all of these positive changes will change not only me, but influence my daughter in a positive way and others that have known my challenges over the years.

Looking at the gorgeous mounds of snow in this ‘blizzard’ we are having in D.C. metro, I am cooking delicious and healthy food and mapping out all of the good to come this year. Hope that you have a safe and warm and positive weekend too!

simply~

Dee

So, I am working out again and that is about it…

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I haven’t been writing in my journal religiously, or reading my Bible as much as I wanted or getting a lot of work done. But, my cough is getting better and I worked out 2 days this week! So yay!!! This whole “trying to better myself in 10 different ways at the same time” thing is really a lot of work!

Are you guys meeting your goals or visions for yourself right now? I am the kind of person that has great ideas and great intentions, but I tend to do really well on a few things, but not on more than a few things at a time. If I am writing regularly and working out, then my other goals fall by the way side.

I admire people like one of my friends on Instagram called theglamuniversity. She just did this awesome woman’s empowerment and business event that is a sleepover and all of the tricks of the trade are taught by powerful successful women like her. She is writing a book, she is expanding her empire. She is getting in shape. She is becoming a mogul! I am so happy for her! But how do people do it?

I am not trying in any way to compare myself to others but all I can say is that I am a decent multi-tasker, but not when it comes to major life changes. I guess I will just take it one day at a time and do the best I can to master or keep up with a few things in my life that mean the most. Then perhaps I can spend a little time on everything else. How do you guys get motivated or stay motivated? Tips, please!!

simply~

Dee

In the spirit of being real…

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People always say it is not a good idea to speak about religion and politics. But, if you are having a real conversation with friends or people that you are getting to know, doesn’t it make sense to put your thoughts/beliefs on the table? It is hard for me to hold back on these 2 things that largely define me as a person. Adult friendships can be so tricky!

I feel that some of my relationships have not improved or have had problems, because of the marked differences of opinions or core beliefs in regards to politics or religion. If I had known they were so diametrically opposed to my core values, maybe I would not have pursued the play dates so readily. I know it is thought to be distasteful or rude to speak about these subjects openly, but when is a good time?

Developing friendships when younger is so simple because there is school and then extracurricular activities, so meeting friends is a cinch. People during those years aren’t defined by the larger meanings in life. Either you are into My Little Pony or American Girl, or into video games or playing outside. Even if everyone doesn’t like the same thing, it doesn’t matter,because on the playground everyone has a blast. The simplicity of childhood makes being a grown up quite unattractive at times.

As a child I would count down days and weeks and years to a day I looked forward to. I remember counting down the years until I turned 13, and then I couldn’t wait until I was 16 because of driving! Next was the super exciting year of 18, when I got to go to college and have no rules. My 21st was important for obvious reasons.:) But when I turned about 25, I woke up and thought omg! I am a certified grown up with bills and a job and responsibilities and a serious relationship. Then I really longed for less. Less to worry about and less to deal with and keep up with. But unfortunately, time does not travel backward. It just keeps marching on, no matter how much we would like it to stop or pause.

So I find myself as a single mom with a wonderful kid, living in a fabulous area and I still feel like I want so and so to happen by next year. I am still yearning for more, but overall I am pretty happy. I think it is normal for most of us to want more. I like who I am for the most part and I know that I can improve upon a few things, but at this point I am probably going to be the person that I am right now. So, it is hard for me to be anyone different from who I am. Sometimes I want to make more friends and expand my circle, but the thought of having to start over again with people who don’t know or get me is just exhausting.

I was speaking with a friend tonight while our kids were playing and we both said that there is just something special about people who knew you back in the day. There is just a comfort and ease that goes along with history and people that were there through all of the crazy stages and loved you then and still love you in your more buttoned up and mature way , as well. So needless to say, I want people in my life, but I am not incredibly open to meeting new people. Because, there are so many reasons as to why I am the way I am. That is true for all of us I suppose. I feel like at this point in my life, cultivating new relationships is damn near impossible.

As much as I want girlfriends to hang with, I feel like I would rather have less time with peers if the time is not going to be with people that I truly appreciate or vcvs. I guess the one to two times a year I visit my hometown will have to be the times that I really get to be me and be among kindred spirits. Of course I have a couple of really good friends here, but most of my closest friends are the ones who knew me back when. I will continue to enjoy the time I spend with my kiddo and see my good mom friends every few months. Then, when my baby girl is all grown up (not that I am rushing that!), perhaps I will live like a Golden Girl with no filter, and enjoy true sisterhood once again. Until then, I will remain somewhat politically correct and cordial and laugh only when deemed apropos by Washington, D.C. standards.:) (Okay, I am being a bit facetious in this post, I admit it!)

So, how is one to to be real in a plastic world?

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The thing about me is that I am really kind to virtually everyone I see, unless the person is a poor driver and pulls out in front of me.:) But, I treat a cashier the same way as I do an ambassador. I of course treat my mom or daughter in a more loving manner than I do people that I don’t know. But I am just as cool with this barista at Starbucks in my neighborhood and regard him in the same way that I do with some of my closest friends.Not that it makes me this saint or that I am someone super special, but my whole point is I like spreading joy and love, but living in an area like D.C. suburbs, it can be quite tricky to keep the happiness flowing.

Being from the south, everyone was all like: “who is your family?” In the DMV (DC, MD, VA) it is: “what do you do?” So of course being that I don’t have a career really and that I don’t make buttloads of money a year, I quickly become not so interesting to a lot of the people I make small talk with at event.s The median income is over 150K in my area, so I am destitute compared to the rest of the people that I know. But I honestly find that I and some of the people that I consort with are far more interesting.

The thing is, I am usually me all of the time. I don’t know how to be any other way. I could win 5 million dollars tomorrow and act exactly the same. I would probably be more giddy because I would be out of debt and have a new car, but besides that I would be down to earth. These folks around here, are so pretentious and fake at times that I can’t handle it. I try to be real when I am dealing with them, but I find myself slipping into that superficial line of thought that many of them are a part of. It must be so nice to live in the bubble that they do where money is plentiful. But, so many of them are delusional about their lives!

These people give gadgets to their kids instead of time. They aren’t concerned about terrorism, or world problems, but instead which color to paint their dining room! I am in a dream state when speaking to some of them at gatherings. I am half wishing I could have their easy lives and half wishing I could escape the conversation because the things these people go on about are so unimportant. Many of them send their kids off all summer and let them go to countless sleepovers during the year, so between school and all of their activities there is no time spent with their children. So, needless to say it kind of frustrates me when they labor over which place to take for their winter/spring vacation with their families when their families are just mere accessories in the grand scheme of their lives.

Now don’t get me wrong. Everyone here is not plastic. But there is A LOT of it here. Maybe not plastic like cosmetic surgery plastic. But definitely in the way that what you or your spouse does for a living and what school your child goes to kind of way. I’m not in the club, and I am okay with that. But, I feel for the children who grow up with little quality time with their parents and with unrealistic expectations concerning life and relationships. This creates more plastic people. I am glad that I can live with our without these people. I can go to some events or deal with them at my kid’s rehearsals and move on. But my daughter having to deal with them is a whole different ballgame. Thankfully she is talented and has lots of friends. If she wasn’t, then it would probably difficult for her to deal with.

Since I am from a completely different area of the country, and a town that was more “normal” in regards to economics, the whole fake thing is just not me. I am also the daughter of an unspoken mom and the granddaughter of the duchess of outspokenness.:) But I think the biggest thing is, for us, being genuine is just important to who we are as women and people. Isn’t it the Christian way? Or decent way? Maybe that is the problem, lack of decency is missing. To treat others differently with the whole “have” and “have-nots” mentality is just not moral.

So, as I continue to not succumb to the ways of the plastic people, I will just remember that popular catch phrase of the late 90’s: “What would Jesus do?” That is the best way to deal with anyone that one is not fond of, or to the people that aren’t easy to relate to or even empathize with. It’s the only real way that I personally think I can take the high road without giving the phony people a too real piece of my mind.

Side note

*****If I sound jealous of these people, I don’t mean to. I think I used to want what they have, but I am so content in knowing that my life with my daughter is special. I wouldn’t trade all of the money in the world for the love and friendship that I share with her and my mother and other close relationships in my life. I think that sometimes I feel that others are so unappreciative of what they have and I think it is so unfair that they have the lives that they do. But, none of that is for me to decide or judge and wasting my time doing so, takes the joy out of living my life…

simply~

Dee

So, how do people with perfectly clean houses keep them perfect?

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I am trying this whole cleanliness is next to Godliness path. I have mentioned many times in the last 2 weeks how I am getting rid of things. I am also washing throws and quilts and pillows because of my whole dust mite issue. And, I am dusting and using the vac more. My new cleaning trick is using peppermint oil and water to keep stovetop and counters clean as well as sink fixtures. To clean our kitchen floor, I sweep all of the gunk on to living room carpet and Hoover it up and then mop the floor to make sure to get all of the little particles instead of having dust fly everywhere. I would normally try repeatedly to get every stray piece of lint into a useless dust pan, but dustpan days are over unless I am sweeping up cat litter.

After cleaning today, I go to take a shower in my daughter’s bathroom and lo and behold, I notice little dust bunnies in the corner of her bathroom. Also, errant beads from an old necklace in 2 corners. I have tried so hard to not let the cleaning chores get out of hand. I’ll explain a bit. I am a neat freak when it comes to everything having a place. But when it comes to deep cleaning, I suck at it. It has a lot to do with the fact that when I was in my 20’s I cleaned houses for over 5 years because I had a cleaning business during college. After that business, I haven’t felt like deep cleaning things on a regular basis.

So, though my house is not dirty. It is not ‘eat off of the kitchen floor clean’ like my mom’s place. Everyday she is doing chores and there is nothing in her place that needs to be clean. It’s just her and 2 cats. Maybe that is it. Perfectly clean homes look so perfect because people are banging their heads up against the wall every single day to keep them up. I just don’t care to strive that hard for a never-ending task, except perhaps being a better Christian. Beyond that, I can’t be all in for something that brings no real satisfaction.

Yes, I love it when my home smells clean and things shine and sparkle. But, I don’t want to miss out on fun moments with my daughter because I am constantly cleaning. Today, we were supposed to watch a movie, and I watched it. About 50 percent of it. The rest of the time I was tidying up because her friend was on her way over, which of course meant her friend’s mom would come in and chat. So I lit candles and wiped things down and put things away but missed that quality time with the best kid in the world.

Maybe the answer to what lies behind all of this perfection is that these moms I know make their kids clean it all! Yeah right. Or, they hire a secret housekeeper like Alice from the Brady Bunch, but she is hidden away in another room or only cleans late at night. Then, when I go visit friends that have multiple kids, the house is perfect and my friend isn’t disheveled because “Alice” the cleaning fairy swept in and saved the day? I need to hire an Alice. Perhaps when I have money to pay all of my bills without crunching numbers repeatedly that can happen. Since the powerball thing didn’t go as planned for me, I may have to wait on that. Until then, I guess I will take it one dust bunny at a time.

Do any of you guys have any cleaning secrets or tips to help an ex-cleaner like me?

simply~

Dee

So, are you still you when you travel???

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When I travel, which is nearly not enough and to not too many places, I don’t want to be just regular me. Not that my fashion sense isn’t good, because dressing well is part of who I am (most of the time), but I like to be different when I am somewhere else.

Even when I visit my hometown, I try different outfit combos that I don’t normally wear in D.C. Maybe I pull out my short boots and wear them with leggings and a knee length dress. Or wear a hat that I haven’t pulled out in years. When I travel to places besides home, I try to not look touristy, so I wear my normal black ensemble. It works really well in NYC:).

But besides clothing, I try to push the envelope. I try to be bolder in my choices. Maybe I will order the raw salmon appetizer that I would typically avoid. Or, I will go to an event or neighborhood that locals go to that may not actually be my cup of tea, but is different enough to not be me. I don’t want to go to Paris and just see the Eiffel Tower or just go to the top 10 places rated by Fodor’s. I want to go to a cafe that artists and poets go to. Or venture a few miles out of the city and go to a mom’s and pop’s patisserie.

Are you like that? Do you stay on the tour bus, or do you jump off and make your own tour? I am the kind of person that won’t buy the birthday package at a store or place, but take bits and pieces of activities at different places and make a party that is mine. You know, take the best parts of a situation or place and tailor it to fit me or my style.

Now don’t get me wrong, I won’t jump off a bus anywhere without a bit of research. I do have the kind of personality that thinks about crime and bad areas, etc. But, I look into it before an adventure, therefore not taking the fun out of being exciting and adventurous.

Darn! Now, I want to go on an awesome trip! Not just to see family or for a reason, but just because. Well, a girl can dream. And, make lists. And add some dollars to our Paris/Europe destination jar.:)

simply~

Dee

So, this is a random topic, but…

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Have any of you gotten a really cheap deal on a plane ticket ever? I feel like its urban legend or something. I am trying to book tickets for us to go to Vegas in the fall for a destination wedding and to see family. I am also trying to book tickets to go down south to visit family this spring. I have a few tax dollars coming and decided to spend them on these trips because it would be worth it, seeing family is always worth it (most of the time).

I found great sites that say they have flights for less than 100 dollars and when I input my dates, it is like 300 dollars. I don’t fly out on Fridays or come back on Mondays and I try to stay long enough for it to be cheaper. I even book on Wednesdays which is the cheapest day to buy. So, is it like one of those black Friday sales when tvs have been marked down from 1000 to 500 but there are only 2 that are in stock?

If you guys have any tips or know any more secrets, I am in! I am also accepting miles from anyone who has to many.:) It is exciting to think about traveling to special events to see amazing people, but times like this I wish I worked for an airline or either on someone’s flight privileges. Oh well, a girl can dream. Speaking of, I have got to get some shut eye. I may be productive in 2016, but I am not sleeping enough. Night!

simply~

Dee