I am doing a job that I am not really trained for. It is insurance claims and billing and wow, it is confusing. But because I am doing the work for a family member who owns the practice, it is like he expects me to figure it out. I will have to say, there are some things that are easy to “figure out”, but insurance is not one of those things. I think the whole Obamacare deal made it even harder with all of the different rules and plans and stipulations.
I am grateful for the opportunity to work at home. It is one of the reasons I am awake right now because I just finished doing billing and checking on claims. But, I kind of hate it and I don’t have enough hours. I want for once to do something that I absolutely love. Can that happen for everyone, or do some of us just have to suck it up? People online post all of these motivational messages that it is up to the individual to make their dreams come true.
But, what if is not destiny for me to do something work wise that I love? I mean I love being a mom and I do that full time, so is that my blessing? Or, can I have both? I want to believe that I can and that I didn’t go to grad school in order to do a part time job for a therapy office I detest and to still tutor and care for kids 20 hours a week. I am totally grateful to have income. I swear!I thank God for blessings all of the time. But I would love to wake up excited about what I do. Motherhood is a job that I wish I could get paid for because I enjoy every second of it.
So, I don’t know if I should search for jobs more or pray more, or both. I don’t want to settle anymore. I have mastered the art of mediocrity over and over again. I am ready to master the art of excellence in something for once that makes me truly feel alive. Do any of you have the blessing of doing something that you go to bed late and wake up early for? If you do, please share and tell me how you got there. I am curious to know and truly happy for those that have found their passion and truly living it.