This guy is the sunshine parent. There for the good times, for the accolades, for the spotlight. Not around when a friend treats her badly or when she has a disappointment. It’s not just because he hasn’t lived here for 6 years that he is not around. Parents that do not live with their kids will not experience as much as the parent that does.
But, this is the same guy that has gone 6 weeks at a time without seeing his daughter and we lived 15 minutes away. The guy who pretends that he calls every day and Facetime’s, But, there is never a record to back up his claims. He also has not been to her last 6 birthday parties and she is not even a teen, which means he has missed a hell of a lot. Then out of nowhere, I get this crazy text from his live-in girlfriend who has 4 kids of her own saying that they are going to file for emergency visitation because I do not let him see her.
I let him see her. He just doesn’t take me up on it. I let him drive her to rehearsal one night, well I had to make him because he is so busy. They also used to spend Wednesdays together in the morning and he would take her to her art class and then bring her back at lunch or after. Then that stopped. Recently, he took her for 3 Wednesdays to an area college for standardized testing, and I will admit that I worried when they were together.
He and I are still legally married for financial reasons, though we have lived apart for over 5 years. So, he is still married, living with someone with kids, going on 2 1/2 years and we have known about it for 7 months and find out as a fluke. He expects me to let him go over to this woman’s house where she has a teen and 3 college aged kids and just let my kid stay with them.
I can’t do it. I know him. He would get my daughter and hang out for an hour and leave her with that woman. I will never refer to her as her name because of the ridiculous texts she has sent me. She texted me in the late fall, announcing herself and telling me what a bad father my ex is. Then 2 weeks later she asks if my kid come over. Then a month later, a friend sends me a Facebook screenshot of this woman publicly berating him. Yeah, I want my child in that loving climate.
To be honest, I was so upset yesterday that I couldn’t write, didn’t want to think deeply and even had 2 coffees. I gave up caffeine 2 months ago! Even Starbucks didn’t fix it. I was late to church because of the texts and a call to him. Then I went to the pastor when church was over and said that I needed to speak with him. Well, a church member said a few words to me and I broke down in such a big way that I had to go back to the pastor’s office and cry it out there. He and a close friend there told me that often times when people strike, they strike in a harsh way.
So, long story short, I am officially freaked. I am worried about splitting holidays. I am scared to death. I have always left my home open on Christmas and he would spend the whole day. He even has a key to our place. How much more open can one get than that? I need prayers right now. And well wishes. And positive thoughts because a man who gives 2 craps less about her, is letting the person who he is sleeping with potentially ruin the little bit of relationship that he has with his daughter.