So, I was heading to the city today, looking out of an Uber, and saw one of those little delivery robots while I was sitting at a traffic light. Its little electronic eyes were blinking, and I was blinking at the same time, holding back tears out of anger and sadness.

I want to run away from my own life right now. I don’t feel fulfilled literally anywhere, and I feel like I don’t have 1 person on this earth I can fully open up to and just tell all of my feelings. My kid, D, or friends. I feel like I am in an abyss of loneliness and uncertainty, and no one cares. Or I can’t trust that they would sympathize or even come close to understanding.

This is the first time in my life that I have just not known where to turn. Should I move out of the country? Cut and dye my hair and change my name? I am being a little dramatic, but I am underwater right now and kind of don’t know what direction to go or how to save myself.

I clearly do not have anyone who will save me. I know Jesus Christ has my back always, but I want/need respite on this earth with actual people. I don’t know if Jesus is trying to tell me something or if I need to just pray and be still and wait to get a sign.

Have you guys ever felt over and underwhelmed all at the same time? That is where I am at this very moment. Not feeling like whatever I do will make an impact on anyone because all of the people I know have their stuff together. They fully have support and not just monetary.

If any of you are out there feeling like you do not have anyone to spill to and you are alone in this, you are not. There are many people out there probably feeling the same way and asking the same questions about their lives.

I am a short email or comment away if you need someone to relate to.

We can fix this!

I wish today’s post wasn’t so forlorn. But I am trying to live up to the theme of my blog- authenticity and honesty.

~simply

Dee