So, the title of this post might be misleading. For those of you who aren’t a resident of the DC area or are not DC savvy, the DMV stands for D.C., Maryland, Virginia. I am sure that when you clicked on the post you thought Department of Motor Vehicles. I totally get it. So: Chevy Chase, Rockville, Silver Spring, Takoma Park, Arlington, Fairfax, Vienna, Oakton, and Reston are just some of the many towns that surround D.C. on both the Maryland and Virginia sides. I am partial to the VA side, but that is another story.
I live in this wonderful area, hence my name on this blog. Anyway, it is great! The Smithsonian series of free museums, the world-class cuisine, fabulous theatre and the dirty politricks-we got it all! But we also have overly competitive douches with their 2 million dollar (or more) homes and their extension of their egos in their vehicles. And with those fabulous guys we get their wives. Now of course all men here are not tools. And all of their wives are not female dogs, but let’s say that we have our fair share. What is worse is the over abundance of wannabes.
Poor, pitiful wannabes. They try so hard to rub elbows with the Washington Elite, but just don’t have the clout or the pull. As for me, I am in neither category. I am light years financially from these folks and I am glad because it is grueling and vicious (would love the cash though). I do have friends who have it pretty good and they are nice. But so many people here just are not. So, I have had to deal with these people over the years way too much and my kid was homeschooled for 6 years! But she has always been in multiple activities so that has put me around these ummm… women.
I have never made many mom friends during the tenure of the 14 different activities she has tried out. Out of all of the years, maybe one. Okay, besides the fact that I have had to work some, I also am a single mother and I have a bi-racial kid. So they see a blond mom with a not-so blonde kid and then no wedding ring and it’s like social leprosy times 100. I am also so not the country club persona nor am I anything but me. Please don’t get me wrong, I am a classy lady. I love the ballet and theatre and high tea and would do all of those things more regularly if I could. But I am nice and kind and real and down to earth.
There is something about more money and a better job that equals judgment and an onslaught of facades. So, as much as I love the area, I really do, I have found it difficult to navigate or actually deal with. But I have. I have made my way and have decent people in my life here. I have people whom I can depend on and my daughter has friends. But then there are some of the parents. These stupid, stupid parents who are under the illusion that their child does no wrong, but worried about what other kids are up to. Today I will be writing about an incident with one of these literal nuts. Her daughter happens to be in acting pretty much all year-long with my kid and they are besties. The mom and I are clearly not.
So, that is not surprising because I said I often don’t bond with mom’s over what my child is involved in. But this situation is way different. With the other mom’s, there is generally a mutual respect. I was in a carpool with one of these women and this crazy mom wedged her way in even though they do not live in an area convenient for the carpool. She butts into our kid’s group convos or Facetime sessions. Yet, she is allowing her 12 year-old to make out, literally with a 14-year-old and is okay with it, but that is another story. Basically, she is a busy body who is often wrong and is forever trying to correct other people, but her house is not in check. Far from it!
My kid doesn’t even want to stay at their place anymore after what happened on Saturday. So, as I said, this nut forced her way into the carpool. I texted she and the other mom 2 different times to tell them my kid did not need a ride this past weekend to class, but did on the way from class, both days. It wasn’t my weekend to drive. So, when I get a call 10 minutes after the class was over saying that my child needed a ride from class which is 10 miles away, which in DC area could mean 30 minutes or more on a Saturday, and that the nut left her, I was livid.
First off, the nut didn’t call me. She just left my kid. Secondly, she got it wrong and I had to hear it from my kid, not her. Then, she yelled at my kid and called her rude when my daughter said that she was sure that she was in the carpool that day because I told her so. When the lady checked her text, she said that I had texted her and basically, it was her bad. When she made the mistake, she should have called me! Not left my kid. I texted her as I was driving, I know it is bad, but it is because I was too angry to talk. My guy was with me telling me to calm down. The psycho called and said she was sorry and she was heading back to my kid. I calmly, yet scarily told her to never talk to my child like that again. That I never do that to kids.
So, when I got there, Miss Billy Badass was literally hiding behind a bush and I was so angry that I just blew the horn and motioned for my daughter to come to the car so we could get the hell out of dodge. So in summation, this lady was in the wrong and verbally reprimanded my kid and then left her. I am writing this mini book to say that there are so many people here like that. Super passive-aggressive. Super self-absorbed and super-stupid. I don’t think that this behavior is just a characteristic of this area, but of large cities in general. A sense of competition, oneupmanship and just lack of compassion and consideration. The last one bothers me the most.
My guy and I talk about this all of the time. I personally think that it is a northern/large city problem (I’m originally from the south), but it seems to be spreading everywhere. It is the epidemic of not considering other people. I think that it is partially perpetuated by social media. The narcissistic beast is alive and well and growing stronger everyday. People in broad terms just do not care that much for people outside of their little world. They are focused solely on their lives and do not think for one minute to empathize or relate to other people or what other people may feel or think.
I would never do something to someone that I would not want done to me. Maybe it is my old skool Baptist upbringing. Or the fact that I believe in the Biblical Golden Rule. But I can tell you one thing, the kind person that I have been will not be as free with my heart and let people think that they can get over. That ship is sailed. I don’t know what it is about me or myself or my child that makes people think that they can act crazy and that it is okay. But what happened with this lady was not the first time, multiple times she has had little arguments with my child. But never again. No longer will either of us let our kindness be taken for weakness.
One thing I am proud of in all of this, is I did not stoop to stupid. I spoke in a calm but serious voice. I let her know the deal. I did not dial back my feelings, nor did I crank up my emotions. I was even and respectful and gave her more courtesy than she deserved. But you see, I am trying to actually practice what I preach. If only everyone acted like who they pretended to be then the world would be easier to travel through. At least there wouldn’t be an over abundance of wolves in sheep’s clothing…