So, last night I fell asleep around 745 or so and woke up at 830 to tell my child that she was past time to go to bed. My body was simply unwilling to allow me to get up and prepare for the next day. So, I got the bright idea to stay in bed until well, today. By 930 or 10 pm, I was itching to get up and check my email and peruse the news and Bravo and read a book or do laundry. I am actually a nocturnal creature trapped in an opposite sleep world. I also do not enjoy sleep. I feel that if I am in bed too long that I am missing out on something. But I stayed there all night-it was overdue to be honest.
I wonder if things that I did in my teens and 20’s that were unscrupulous is what haunts me. Or, if it is the whole solving the world problems thing. Or, if it is the way that I yelled at my ex for the millionth time, or was more impatient that I should have been with my daughter over something trivial. In other words, perhaps I have a checkered past ;), or I am super worried over those things which I have no control over-which is a lot!
I wrote this long spiel on Facebook and a friend told me to read Matthew 24 and Genesis 6 and it was spot on. Scary, but spot on. I feel like I am one of those old southern people that is putting the fear of God in people or something. But I for the first time do wonder and worry a lot about when the world will end. Maybe if I had the clear conscience that others have I could sleep like a baby at night. 🙂
My mom is one of the sweetest, kindest and most generous people I have ever met and she can take a nap at the drop of a hat. Maybe I should take a play out of her playbook and see what I can do in order to get in the bed at anytime and fall into a deep slumber. But maybe I am just one of those people that makes coffee nervous and am not destined to be a good sleeper.