I really had no idea how badly her life has turned until I visited. She moved to a neighborhood that is not very attractive or “her” at all. She has no car to drive, and is discouraged to use public transportation because her immunity is so low. For some reason her disability has not come in and she has been living off of selling baubles and luxury purses and other wares. She has a sh–load of nice things, so she could live off of her things for awhile. But she has been in the hospital 10 times in 15 months and one of the times was due to a stroke. I slipped 15 dollars in her purse, and took her out to eat twice and she was protesting the whole time. I also drove to a few stores and we did her grocery shopping and errands. But it was nothing, because that is what any person should do for a friend. This friend of mine is 20 years my senior, and she has a daughter my exact age who works 3 miles away and drives a Benz and is doing just fine who won’t even come over to take her to get food.
I had no freaking clue!! She is so humble and proud and didn’t want to tell me all of this because she said: “you are so happy”. I said, “I am happy, but if you had told me your real situation, I could help you to be more happy.” I told her some ways to cut costs, because she went from being upper middle class to having to move with her daughter, to then have to move to this random town home. I haven’t seen her since March because she doesn’t exactly live down the street and because she has been in and out of the hospital so much that I could not bring my daughter there because little kids aren’t allowed in ICU.
But also, I have been living my life and I feel guilty for not being there more. I am sure that I have could have found time or money to go and see her more. I have this super-duper friend guilt right now. So, I am already putting it on the books to go and see her again-soon. I realized how quickly someone’s life can change in a blink of an eye. It started making me think that though I am not rich like many of my friends are in the D.C. area and I don’t have a hubby caring for me like my friends do, I AM BLESSED. Truly blessed. We are healthy, we have a nice place in a nice neighborhood and we are happy and I have an income.
I wonder if all of these new money people driving around here in their 60-100 K cars would be able to fare if they had this happen to them. I don’t think they would live for a year. They have no clue what it is to struggle. Sitting in their million dollar homes, turning their nose up at everyone. If they became the people who they looked down on, they would not be able to live with themselves. Now I am not anti-one percent. Hell, all of the people that hate the top-tier only want to be them. And, my uncle is one of them. He drives a 100K car. He lives in a million dollar home. He takes private planes. But he works his ass off for it and doesn’t turn his nose up at anyone. He came from a farming town and had to go through a lot to get where he is.
I digress, but there are many people who gain money not from their families or building their own companies, but through good jobs or through their husbands. These are the new money people who act as if they have lived “high on the hog” (to quote my mom) their whole life. And another momism, “they didn’t have a pot to pee in and a window to throw it out of” when they were being raised up. Now, they act as if they are a part of the Vanderbilt clan. I sometimes see these kind of people and wish they could be brought to what my friend is having to deal with. I really do. Is that cruel? Does that make me a bad person? I know the whole eye for eye thing is wrong. But I just hate what has happened to my friend and so many people like her, and these other people have such bad attitudes and have it “going on”, well at least financially.
So, the gist of the story is I am humbled tonight. I am a little sad. I am a lot thankful. I want to ask God for forgiveness for my lack of appreciation. I want my friend to have better “luck”. I wish for happiness for her. I pray that her life will turn around and she will be on top for once. I also hope that I and others will realize how unimportant material items are. How time with friends and family and memories are so much more golden and valuable. Riches are not things you can see and touch always, love and happiness far outweigh all of that.
I want to be a better steward for my future and for my daughter. I want to buy less Starbucks and put more money into the bank. I am going to give more to my church and spend less at the movies. I am going to go and see loved ones and tell them more how much I care for them because in the end, love is all that matters…